Immense baby name regret

[SLNM]

Baby is 3 months old, and I have started to regret her name. We named her Desiree (which is a name that DH had suggested). It is mainly the comments of others that are causing my regret. When we go to the shops, we get reactions that seem negative when someone asks what her name is. My parents do not like her name. I want to change her name but am not certain that I will be able to convince DH. It doesn't help that she is likely to be our only child (which only makes the regret stronger).

We had considered Isabel, Jacqueline, Lucy, and Scarlett as well, but DH wasn't as keen on those as I was. What would you do?

If you’re really against it you need to address this either your DH. Maybe have it as a middle name?

Isabella , Lucinda - would Dh go for either of those?

This will probably be disagreed with on MN, but I like Desiree. It's not common here. That makes it more appealing to me. Lucy and Jacqueline are also lovely.

So do you actually like the name? Is it only the reactions of others that bother you? Or were you never that keen on the name? If the latter, I agree you should say you want to change it so that Desiree is a middle name, and give her a new first name you both can agree on.

Otherwise, if you do like Desiree but not people's reactions, would calling her Dezi or Rey work as diminutives for daily use?

I do like the name. It is only the reactions that cause me to doubt our decision. We get comments on how American and unusual it is. I've also become aware that many consider it to be "chavvy". Knowing how it is viewed by others has made me realise that it won't be an easy name for her to live with.

It is really the only name that DH loved. He's not even that keen on her middle name.

Really if you like the name stick with it. There are so many different names today, and from many different cultures. I really don't think her name will be hard to live with - at school unless you live in a very non diverse area she won't stand out, and even less so at uni and work.

I'm sorry people's reactions are ruining the name for you - but at the same time, I can understand why it makes you want to change. I think it's a lovely name though! And as people get to know her, I'm sure she'll rewrite their associations with the name.

With our own daughter, we both loved a diminutive that we didn't think was a wise choice to saddle her with for life - something along the lines of 'Dizzy', for example - so we made the longer version that we weren't so keen on her middle name - so, Isabelle - and gave her a legal first name that was more neutral and simple - think something like Louisa.

But she's gone by Dizzy since birth, and has Dizzy as her preferred name at school. If she ever has issues with people judging her based on her name though, she can switch to Louisa without an issue.

So in your case, I'd think about legally switching her middle and first names to avoid your worries about her encountering issues later in life, but continuing to call her Desiree on a daily basis - and never mind the people who judge it while she's little!

Another vote to stick with the name if you and your husband both like it!

What is her middle name?

I had to look up how to pronounce it (deh-zuh-ray) which sounds nicer than how I’d thought (deh seer ay). It makes me think of the 90s singer.

If you both like it, keep it. She herself might love it. Dont worry about the comments of strangers (which aren’t even negative tbh). It’s very pretty. As she grows older and you see her personality develop, she will become the name and you won’t be able to imagine her as anything else.

As an aside, most 3 syllable names would have a shortened version to use on occasion. Or a nickname. Have a think now whether this is something you like and what it might be.

I think it’s a good name.

“Dezzie” or even “Srée” will be such a cool nn OP when she’s a teenager

There are so many of the Lucy, Izzie, Scarlett names around, you did well to swerve. And I hate Jacqueline - Jacky is a name with no personality (Unless you pronounce it the French way “Zhak-leeeen” but no one will)

Many names have poor connotations but in reality once you know an actual live person with the name, the connotations fade away. It’s not like you’ve named a baby “Adolf”.

I have a friend whose kid is called “Bernard” which is a name I absolutely loathe, but I’m slowly coming round to little Bernard’s character owning and redefining that name for me (although Bernard is a bit of a little #%|${$ at least now the name doesn’t belong to a 1950s square with a combover in my head).

Desi is super cute! And almost like really posh. You know like really posh ladies who have names that almost don't make sense... Desi!

I love it, it’s really unusual.

Stick with it. Ray ☀️ is a cool, retracted version. I just thought 90s singer when I read her name.

What's her middle name? I have met too many people with unusual names that don't like them.

It’s cute. But she will get Lots of people thinking it’s De Seer Ay.

I like it but if it's really bothering you perhaps use a nickname or shorten it, Rae is lovely.

I really like it. I thought you were going to have some wild name when I clicked on this thread. Is it strangers you see out at the shops? If so, I’d be lying about her name to them. She’ll never know, and there’s far too many creeps in the world. I’d probably rotate through a few 😂

I think most teen girls I know would like to be called Desi.

I think it's nice! I'd shorten to Ray too as PP said. That's really lovely too!

Thank you! Jacqueline is the name that I most regret not using.

I like it and know someone IRL with that name and she is lovely so that’s my association. If you love it keep it and try not to worry about people’s reactions they may not be as negative as you think. I’m pretty sure people at baby groups think I think their kids names are weird but I am actually deaf in one ear and just want to make sure I have it right (like it when everyone has a sticker with a name on find I feel a lot more relaxed- nothing at all to do with the actual name)

I think it's normal to regret names. I had a baby at the same time as two good friends and all of us had fairly serious regrets in the first year. One because the name turned out to be viewed as yoonique (they can show Wikipedia to show it's traditional), one rhymes with dad's name (they somehow hadn't noticed, but it's still a nice name) and one because the name was too boring (they wanted safe and classic, which it is). It'll get better as she starts to learn her name and get more personality and you'll get used to it

Desiree Burch (Birch?), the comedian, is very smart and funny. A good example of a Desiree.

I know a Desiree with the nickname Daisy. PP suggestions of Rae and Desi are also nice.