Husband is trying to back out of naming agreement

[ThisZingyMember]

I'm looking for opinions on this situation. When I was pregnant with our first child, we could not agree on a name. Our tastes are just too different. At the time, I knew that our child was going to end up with a dull compromise name that neither of us would be keen on if we couldn't think of something else. Because of this, I decided to make an agreement with DH that he could name our first child any (first + middle) name that he wanted as long as I would be able to name our second child any (first + middle) name that I wanted. All went well, and he chose our first child's name. I didn't like the name he chose but never tried to interfere due to the agreement.

I'm now pregnant with our second child. I have chosen the name and told DH what it is. He is now trying to back out of the agreement. His argument is that this is an "extreme exception". He hates the name, so he should be able to veto it. My viewpoint is that it doesn't matter that he doesn't like the name. He shouldn't have agreed to this arrangement if he wasn't going to honour it. I'm not going to compromise when the point of the agreement was to avoid doing so.

I'm having wicked notions now of Big Weed and Little Weed

Theyre both completely normal non offensive names, so i dont know why youre both being so weird about it. Grow up?

Is he Greek, OP? Olive Athena and Calliope have strong Greek associations, so was wondering if he feels strongly about having his culture represented in the names?

Sorry I love his name and dislike the one you’ve chosen! Olive is adorable… Mary is definitely not my favourite!

It's a good job we all.like different names because I like Mary very much.

Both of these are terrible. Calliope??? No way, a deal is a deal (your choices are fine).

Stick to your guns. Really like the name you've picked! (Don't like Olive)

Oh god no. The only compromise I’d make on those names would be ‘Thea’.
maybe… Thea Francesca, Thea Kate?
Does baby NEED a middle name? I don’t have one, nor do my three children. I never feel like I’ve missed out!

Your error was naming your first child a name you don’t like! I love both my children’s names. There was names we each vetoed of course.
If you mean to more quirky then I’d probably agree with your husband tbh. I think it’s really weird when siblings have really different names eg an Elizabeth and then an Ocean/Jaxson or a Hugo and a Crystal.

I like Mary-Kate Francesca, it has a nice flow to it. Olive Athena and Calliope Theodora are nice too. Sounds like he likes Greek names.

Your names are perfectly reasonable assuming they're not, like, the names of his hated ex or something. It's not as if you've chosen something offensive or Yoonique. He agreed to it and got his chance to name a child. He needs to suck it up imo.

Isn't Calliope a type of organ? I've never heard it as a name.

From a utilitarian point of view I kind of get that it makes more sense for one person to love the name than for both people to kind of like it. But I can't imagine agreeing to call my child a name that I didn't like - I think it was very unusual that you went along with that, and not unsurprising that when push comes to shove he's not able to do the same.

I think it would be fair for you to write a list of 10(+) names that you like, and let him pick from your list (or vice versa if you'd prefer. Or do it both ways round, but then you get the final say)

Scrap my message!! Pulling a u-turn.

YES NAME YOUR BABY THAT! It goes nicely with sisters name too actually! Is your eldest named Olive and not Olivia? Are there any nicknames like Liv or Livvie?

Calliope is horrendous. Theres also about to be part 2 of the sandman released in which she is a character repeatedly raped. I’d hate that association tbh.

She named her child OLIVE. Shes already compromised.

Could you shorten Olive to Liv or Livi? Most children have nicknames of some variation… just find one you like and start using it- it’ll soon catch on!

A) I like Olive 🤷‍♀️ b) I get that she's already compromised, and that "they made a deal" but I also think it was a weird deal, and I'm not surprised that he's struggling to keep his end of this bizarre bargain!

Yes, I also like the name Olive and think posters need to remember this is the name of OPs first born.

So weird that you let him name your child a name you didn’t like, I can’t get over it, he sounds absolutely awful

He’s being a dick! For what it’s worth, I think Olive and Francesca sound lovely together so I would use them that way round. I’m not a big fan of Mary-Kate myself but it feels like those names have some meaning to them, I prefer Francesca Mary alone.

I’m lucky enough DP didn’t care to much about names, he was too excited to be a dad, also his surname is a bitch to match with most names. I picked DS because it’s a name I’d had in my head since I was about 15. He didn’t offer any suggestions so I chose both DS first and middle name. With dd, I couldn’t decide between 3 first names, middle name was set in stone, so I left it up to DP. TBH I may get flamed for this but I feel the woman should have overall say (if you can’t decide) considering we carried them for 9 months and in most cases they have the fathers surname.

As long as the name isn’t Donald Trump or similar I’d say crack on.

Oh god no that’s awful. Your choice is fine. He needs to accept it.

Not the point though. They had a deal.

He's a sore team player and loser.
So tell the buttercup to suck it up.

(Also your name suggestion is much better than his but that's beside the point.)

(olive I quite like though)

Olive is not Greek. In Greek it’s Elia.