Why do people pick popular names?

[postitnote8]

I get that there are trends, and that when most of us were babies (myself included) our parents probably thought they were picking unique names for us, only to find at least one other classmate with the same name when we got to school. But now that we've got the internet publishing all the data/polls/lists, why do expectant parents STILL pick the most popular names? I'm not hating- just genuinely curious?

With the parents who feel bad that their children don’t have pens with their child’s name on, I really struggle with this too. We went to Longleat and they had a machine to personalise notebooks, magnets, etc. I got so excited that I got several things for each DD!

I also don’t think they update the names on there very often. My name is still on there and is definitely not what people are calling their babies these days.

I find it utterly mad that people would consider, when giving their child a name they will bear for life, whether that name is readily available on some plastic tat.

I didn't consider it, and as I said I love my son's name so I'd just get something personalised if I wanted. And it isn't just plastic tat that is personalised. I find it utterly mad that people give so much of a shit about what everyone else calls their kids when they are choosing their names too, takes all sorts I suppose 🤣

“I find it utterly mad that people would consider, when giving their child a name they will bear for life, whether that name is readily available on some plastic tat.”

it wasn’t among the criteria I used either, but then I also wasn’t ruling out on the basis of “it’s in the top ten”. People will often have biases according to what they experienced with their own name. Someone who was always disappointed as a child that they couldn’t find their name on “some plastic tat” may well find that that sways them towards names used more frequently, ditto someone who was always having to spell their name for others. Someone who hated being one of 5 with the same name in their class may be swayed the other way. None is more mad than the other.

I understand picking classic popular names but it's when they choose trendy popular names that I'm stumped

Because they like them?

I don’t think that recognising the drawbacks of having a very common name is the same as ‘I want my child to be easily able to find plastic tat with her name on’, though. I’m one of the people who had six girls with my name in my class throughout primary (one also with the same surname), and it wasn’t nothing, psychologically, to not feel like an individual, but one of a generic subset, and to learn not to respond to your own name because it was usually one of the other five being called.

It tells you something that, despite it being more than 25 years ago, I still remember the foreign street I was on and what I was wearing when I first realised I had spontaneously responded to someone calling my name in public.

It may not have been nothing to them either. We’re all different. Why are your feelings about your more commonly used name more valid than those of someone who wanted to see more of their own name? It’s not a competition. All I was saying was that parents will base some of their choices on their own experience about their own names, it’s hardly surprising. You might think other people’s reasons are stupid/mad, whatever.

Because it had a lasting negative psychological effect that really can’t be compared to being cross that little Jade can’t find a necklace that says ‘Jade’?

Not really for you to declare the things that aren’t allowed to have a lasting negative psychological effect. I’ve got a common name, I have no lasting negative psychological effects, so perhaps I should tell you that your experience is wrong? (Which obviously I’m not going to do because I’m human enough to realise we’re all different, we all have different responses to different scenarios, and everyone’s feelings are valid, including “little Jade’s”.)

What names did you use? I chose names I liked and I wasn’t in the UK or on mumsnet at the time. It turns out that Dd has a popular name here but she still likes it. I used to work in a school and in one class there were 2 boys with the same very unusual name. My nephew was named what was (20 years ago) a quite unusual name but it’s now the most popular name. I have a friend who called her dd Alexa. Her dd has recently changed her name. You can never tell what will happen.

I feel very sorry for the Alexas. Rarely has a name dropped so sharply off the cliff - only 15 were named in 2021.

I really like the name Fleur. Always have done.
I am not calling my son that because it’s too gendered.

I really like the name Karl but it was the name of my boyfriend previous to my husband.

I really like the names Dominic, Gabriel, Laurence and Christopher. But didn’t like the shorter Ed version, the religious overtone, already used by family and done to death respectively.

I can’t believe I’m the only person who have some thought to their babies names besides “ liking them”?

Popularity wasn't an aspect of why we chose my children's names.

One is very popular (but always liked on here) and one is not at all popular (lovely but rare).

Both names mean something to us, one relates to the time of year, one relates to heritage and was my husband's favourite name.

How odd that you should think everyone is obsessed by popularity!

I think people just pick names they like. Also depends on area how common they are. My daughter's name is top 30 (though another variation is slightly higher but apparently still not top 10) and since she's been born I've seen loads of girls with that name. My daughter is 18 months old.

My nieces name is a consistent top 3 and I've only met one other child with her name.

Out of the top 10 boys name I know loads of Noah's, Leo's and Harry's but I have yet to meet a baby Oliver or George both of which are in the top 5. The most popular boys name round here seems to be theo

Because for lots of people picking a name for their baby is just a simple process of having a few chats about the names they like, and not giving any head space as to whether a name is too popular, or not ‘classic’ enough, or not middle class enough, or all the other things that people here often worry about.

Do you have a popular name or an uncommon name OP? Many people with uncommon names wish for more common ones. Internet privacy, spelling and pronunciation issues, even just not being able to get a keyring with your name on when everyone else can. There’s a balance to be struck between being one of 5 Olivers in the class and having a try-hard name.

DC1's (almost 30) name wasn't even top 100 when we chose it...Oliver.

You haven’t really explained why you think it is bad for a child to have a popular name.

You just seem to have absorbed that it is. Why is that?

Likewise I find you a bit mad for claiming you have psychological damage as a result of having a common name.

But it takes all sorts!

So if you can feel upset, surely Jade of the Fruitless Search for Plastic Tat has as much right to feel upset too?

I still remember being disappointed as a child that everyone else could find stuff with their name except me. Not everyone wants to stand out.

We didn't think about other people when we picked our kids names just ones that worked for us.
Ours have fairly classic names that aren't trendy just regularly used as they are traditional
So we come across other boys with the same names quite a bit but that's life. No regrets with what we chose.

People choose popular names for the same reasons as other people choose popular names. Most of us have the same influences, same culture, same fashions, similar childhoods-read the same books, watched the same programmes, lived the same characters etc etc. then we all have children at around the same age, and lo and behold all the Sarahs and Daniels have Noahs and Amelias.

@TGGreen Oliver has been top 100 in England and wales for a long time. It was number 23 in 1994, 47 in 1984, 84 in 1974 and has obviously remained there or higher ever since.

@Deftandglory my 9 month old boy is Gabriel
@JanesBlond yes, I've a fairly popular name for a mid 80s kid- I'm a Katie (officially Katharine).

I know there are a few people dying to judge me and my name/name selection because of how judge-y I've come across, but I promise that wasn't my intention. I genuinely thought people picked names that were in a top 10 list on purpose, but now I've been enlightened and a lot of these responses make sense. I wonder if I'll be thinking about this thread in a few years' time, miffed that my own childrens' names have become very common. <shudder>

@Deftandglory

i was responding to the post before mine, who was baffled:

”I understand picking classic popular names but it's when they choose trendy popular names that I'm stumped”

and may have needed the explanation that perhaps those people liked the names they chose

I mean obviously that poster wasn’t really stumped