Why do people pick popular names?

[postitnote8]

I get that there are trends, and that when most of us were babies (myself included) our parents probably thought they were picking unique names for us, only to find at least one other classmate with the same name when we got to school. But now that we've got the internet publishing all the data/polls/lists, why do expectant parents STILL pick the most popular names? I'm not hating- just genuinely curious?

When you actually look at the number of babies born with each name, it's not a huge amount. My daughter has a top 10 name as that is the only one me and her father loved. Popularity wasn't a factor. I personally don't know anyone else with it, it's not that popular locally even though its in the Uk top 10. And frankly, I can't really see what the issue is with having the same name as other people. I have an unusual name which no one can pronounce or spell - it's actually irritating!

Both my kids have top 10 names, the first I had loved for years! I had no idea of its popularity, because I didn't have a wide circle of children I knew. But in my direct circles, they are still the only child I know with that name. (Obvs others in nursery etc).

The second, I had no idea it was anywhere near the top ten. Only knew of one other person called this name who were in their 20's.
Now, I've met a few 😂.

I didn't google them, I picked them because I liked them 😊.

Some people have a horror of being in any way conspicuous.

My parents, for one — they’re quite upfront about the fact that their priority when naming all their large family was ‘to be as ordinary as possible’. There were six girls with my name in my class of 30 all through primary, and one had the same (common) surname too. It took me until I was in my mid-20s and living abroad to respond to my name being called on the street or across a room.

Though what bothers me about my name is that the emphases of my first name don’t work at all with my surname, making it hard to say. I wish they’d said it aloud a few times.

DS has a very unusual name.

Maybe people just don't give a shit because at the end of the day it's just a name. I think it's a very modern phenomena that people put so much effort into what is actually a very shallow, irrelevant thing. It's actually quite vain when you think about it. Because you think the name choice reflects on you somehow, whereas most people don't give a crap or judge others on their name choices. One of my dd's has a very popular name. I save all the effort for the actual, you know, parenting. I researched my family tree recently and practically every woman in it going back 150 years is called Margaret, Mary or Joan and every bloke is James, John or Alexander. Didn't bother them I don't think.

@postitnote8 no of course not but my point is why should you compromise? If you love a name, use it. People get so caught up in what other people are doing that they either compromise on a slightly less popular name or go out of their way to think of something totally bizarre just to be unique. It makes no sense to me.

I didn't want a unique name. I don't understand why anyone would.

I am primary school teacher. I wanted my DC to have traditional British names spelt traditionally.

The hard part was finding a name that didn't remind me of a child I had taught!

Because they hear them around a lot and if affects what they like, I'd imagine.

I'll admit I was aware of the top 10 names for boys and girls each time we had a kid because I wanted to ensure we didn't use any of them - I guess I'm thinking about the three Katies in my class at school! DH did once or twice suggest names that were on that list. Our first child we chose a name that was getting more popular, so we knew it wouldn't be 'weird' but it wouldn't be everywhere either. Middle name was one of the top 10 names, but it was after DH's grandma who died just before I found out I was pregnant.

DS has a very unusual name, but it's after a great grandfather from another country.

You're baffled by Isabel and Jack? I'm baffled that you're baffled tbh. Very odd.

Both my DCs have names that were in the top ten for the years they were born, but I had no idea at the time. It was irrelevant to me how many others might have the same name. We picked them because we liked them.

As it turns out, they’ve been the only ones in their classes (and year groups I think) at primary school and there are very few at their huge secondary.

It goes in waves and you love what you love - I wouldn’t remove my favourite name in the world from the list just because others like it too.
I could say the same for names that are so unique you end up going “What? How do you spell that?” - I had that kind of surname and it was so difficult.

Would love to know your child’s name OP. 😅

It's also because the trends are about shared associations for names and these are often shared across age groups. So, from being a kid I thought if I had a DD she'd be called Esme because it was a name I only came across in books when I was growing up and it sounded pretty. Turns out, loads of people my age thought the same! So, it would.have felt original to me but also a few thousand others.

Because the names are nice, generally the most common names are going to be the ones that are the most liked names.
There are a ton of benefits to having a common name, like the lack of misspelling and mispronounciation. The relative anonymity of not having a super unique first name can be a positive. Unlikely to be teased, judged or embarassed by your name. Even silly things like being able to by those christmas arnaments and water bottles with your name on in gift shops.

But also there are so many names now in use that the top 10 just isnt the same thing as it was 20 years ago. The top name is given to 1% of babies so its not even like there will definitely be two in every classroom, more like 1 Olivia in a 3 or 4 form entry year group. There just is more names now its not as much of an issue.

Surname harmony is a big thing… If your last name is Smith you would be way more likely to search out something a bit different. But for those of us with unusual last names a top 40 first name is no bad thing 🙌

I think most baby names are a compromise between what mum liked and what dad liked, so they tend to the more popular.

Like my top 10 names and DHs top 10 names had very little overlap except the more popular name that made both lists.

I think bland people pick those names tbh. I'd be damned if I carried for 9 months then went through childbirth to call it Charlie or sophie 🤦🏻‍♀️ my kids don't have out there names but they have never been one of many in their class.

Because then my child doesn have to correct people or spell out their name, it keeps it simple

I wonder this. My name is so common. I always get muddled up with colleagues of the same name, it's been the same since school. It's annoying tbh never just being 'Meglet' and always having to be 'Meglet X'.
My kids have far less common, but not weird, names.

@Flibbertigibbettytoes omg is this a Twilight thing 😁

I have a rare name, I have to spell it out a lot and correct when said wrong.

With my first I had no real idea of how many people had the same name. Her name is a classic name we liked and she was the only one in her class. But it is a fairly common name (& still is) but not seemingly in the area we lived.

Same with my second daughter chose a name we liked - her best friend at school has the same name! Unlike my first the name does seem more common in where we live.

I chose their names because we liked them. I did avoid names like mine - having to spell my own name a lot is annoying!!

@bonbon2023 I see your point, but I don’t think you’re taking into account growing up with an extremely unusual surname or first name… or both… the scars!!!!

I chose the number 1 name for my son the year he was born. He was the only one in his school year of 240 kids.

Children don't need names to make them unique. That's what their personality is for.

I deliberately picked names NOT in the top 100.

For both, there are same names everywhere we go. DS has had two other kids in his class & DD's name has a close variant that I hear everyday (and she gets called that, even though her name is simple and sounds as it is spelt.

I never hear the popular names anywhere!

So damned if you do, damned if you don't!

I gave my eldest a name that was something like 150th the year he was born, and is now top 10

Because we liked it best. DD has a top 20 name (maybe top 10) and we hesitated about giving it to her because of the popularity. But we didn't like other names as much.