Why do people pick popular names?

[postitnote8]

I get that there are trends, and that when most of us were babies (myself included) our parents probably thought they were picking unique names for us, only to find at least one other classmate with the same name when we got to school. But now that we've got the internet publishing all the data/polls/lists, why do expectant parents STILL pick the most popular names? I'm not hating- just genuinely curious?

I have quite a popular 90s name, and I’ve always been happy with it. The only thing that’s slightly annoying is when you end up as one of multiple in a certain setting, and you can’t just be known by your first name - so at work, I’m usually referred to by my full name.

But you can’t always control for that unless you go for something really unusual. My DD’s name is about 90th in the lists, but she was one of two in our NCT group and I’ve come across a lot more than I expected - whereas the boy’s name we liked is right at the top of the lists, and I literally haven’t met a single child her age called this.

So when our next arrives, I’d worry a bit less about popularity - although personally I’d probably still steer clear of names that I thought were likely to be short-term fashionable (to the extent that it’s possible to spot those now!)

Both of my DC names weren't popular when the were born (DS2 was number 99).

Now both are top 5 or 10. I'm furious to be honest. I'd rather everyone had just carried on calling their children Oliver.

Yes. I’ve named my DC fairly popular names (because I love them!) and surprisingly they’ve ended up being the only ones in their year with their names.

I have a name which was very popular when I was born - there were three of us in my class at school. But since leaving school I’ve only come across two others in the past 25+ years. I liked having a popular name - I loved seeing it on items in shops!

I'm not hating- just genuinely curious?

don't people want to...dare I say it...try a bit harder?

Sounds pretty judgy to me…

To answer your question, people name their children what they like. You should do the same. DD1 has a name I’d never heard anyone else called before her. I found it after reading a book with a character called the same thing. There was another child in her pre-school with the same name and a child in the year above her at primary. It’s also added to the MN list of names on here too. I don’t care though because I think it’s beautiful.

DD2’s name is Irish. Popular Irish but not too common in England (DH is Irish). We chose it because we love it and we get compliments on it.

DC3 will have a name we like. It may well be popular but that won’t sway our decision. We have an unusual enough surname that it’s unlikely there will be two with the exact same name in one class.

Also, everyone waffles on about the popular names but every single baby name thread on here has the same names suggested no matter what the OP says. It’s getting almost comical.

“Now both are top 5 or 10. I'm furious to be honest. I'd rather everyone had just carried on calling their children Oliver.”

you’re really furious? I suppose if it was a really important criterion for you, to have a non-popular name, then it would be a bit irritating, but maybe it’s just that lots of people have the same taste as you. Seems like an odd thing to be furious about!

My parents gave my brother one of the most popular names around. Then they gave me a lesser used but still common name, but they gave me a unique spelling so I know how your DS feels. My brother had loads of stuff with his name on.

And names might be popular in one area, I was the only one with my name in the classes I was in (I went to three primaries) but at high school there were 5 in my class and another few in the year.

Then a couple with a similar name both in my class and in my year., think Rose and Rosie

Well there are always going to be names that are more popular than others, and there will always be a top 10. This is maths.

If you're asking why people particularly want a name that is common, I suppose lots of reasons - people know them so they're easy to spell and pronounce, they are nice sounding in the language of that country, they have a nice meaning, they have a relative with that name.

I have a friend who gave her 4 children extremely boring/ common names for the reason that she didn't want them to have to spell them out to everyone they met, she wanted them to fit in easily at school, and just wanted things to be straightforward in that way. All very valid.

We have a difficult to spell and pronounce German surname .I grew up with a difficult to spell and pronounce Irish surname . We have lived abroad ,always spelling and explaining .I gave my kids simple but classic first names for that reason.

don't people want to...dare I say it...try a bit harder? 😬

🙄

We had very specific criteria when naming DS.

• we wanted a name that was recognisable as a name ( no made up names or random words)
• we wanted to be happy with any nicknames / short versions and like them as much as the actual name.
• we wanted a name that had only one recognised spelling as both me and DH have names that can be spelled a few different ways and it's frustrating!

So even though we chose a relatively popular name we still tried hard to find one that suited.

Lots of people don't care if many other children have the same name. They just pick one that they personally like. You can see this in the fact that people have access to the popularity lists but still pick top ten names. It just isn't a concern for many people. I really like the point about online anonymity - I am really hard to pinpoint because I have a common first name and surname.

Both DP and I have less usual names that often require repeating and spelling. As children neither of us ever found our names on a novelty item in a gift shop. Mine is mispronounced daily to the point where I hardly bother to correct people any more. It was mispronounced in my graduation ceremony.

We named our baby a top 3 name so that he doesn't have these issues. Plus it was one of the only names we really liked and we don't mind the inevitable nickname.

Because I wanted a name that people would know to say and spell, having had a best friend at school who spent her life spelling out her name or having people spelling it wrong. And because the popular names are popular because they sound nice.

I had an unusual name as a child and it was a pain in the arse. Nobody knew how to pronounce it when they read it, other people would assume it was a different name if they heard it, it meant I spent a lot of time correcting people and it drew a lot of attention to me. I was painfully shy so it was hard.

I did come out of my shell as a teen but then I'd have people thinking I was lying about my name to make myself sound interesting! Especially if I was hanging out with another friend with an unusual name.

I was also afraid that an unusual name could be stigmatising for them, especially as I was a fairly young mum.

Because even the most popular name isn't that popular. And it absolutely isn't a disaster if your child has the same name as another child in the school.

When we called our child Grace 25 years ago it was so unusual that some people though we'd had some sort of religious conversion! (It was actually a name we'd fallen in love with from an American TV series.) Within 6 years it was in the top 2) And our Grace has only ever met 4 others. It's really not a big deal.

Also it's a running joke in our family that all my friends are called Sarah. I have to give them nicknames so they know who I'm talking about.

Just because a name is popular doesn't mean they'll always be one of lots at school. My name was the most popular the year I was born. I went to a massive school and there were 2 of us in our year. I've come across many more at work where we're all different ages and it wasn't consistently popular for all those years

Same reason so many people buy the latest fashions, have their hair cut in the most up to date style, decorate their homes in 'this seasons colours' etc

Because they don't want their child to be the one in the gift shop who can never find a pen with their name printed on it.

<bitter experience>

I didn't really look at the popularity lists to decide if the names were popular or not, I don't care.

Do I like it, does it go with our surname, is it easy to pronounce, those are things that we considered.

Boy names are especially hard IME because there is less variety - the popular names are so overused, but the less popular ones are mostly just weird and don't sound like proper names. I think it's much easier to find a pretty girls' name which is not top ten but not something weird and made up either.

You tend to see trends in names because people will independently come across a name and each think "Oh that sounds nice - and unusual". But not realise that several other people have had the same thought. About ten years ago, I'd never come across the name Arlo. Now it's top 20. That's not necessarily because people are studying the name lists and picking from there, it's more likely because they have met a baby or toddler called Arlo and thought that's unusual, what a lovely name, and it's stuck with them and when they had a baby a couple of years later, it's made it onto their list.

You tend not to see many names which were a trend in your own generation (because people associate that with boring or ordinary = yet another dave etc) and not many names that were associated with the grandparents' generation, because to the parents, those are grown-up names, have no association with "cuteness" and look weird on a baby, like Kevin, Linda, Barry.

But great-grandparents' generation is fair game, mainly because most adults having children have already, perhaps recently, lost grandparents and those names are seen fondly, but they are already out of use enough that they are starting to seem a novelty again. For our generation I would say this is the Alfie, Elizabeth, May, Stanley, Agnes etc.

Weirdly I was really attached to the name Idris, DH vetoed it for being too unusual and I've just looked this up and it is a current name trend. It's gone from the the 5/6oos in the late 90s/early 2000s, certainly I'd never met one IRL, to now being in the top 200. Something must have inspired not just me, but also hundreds of other parents. I have fond memories of this name from childhood associated with a toy dragon that I had, which I think my mum named after a cartoon that was on TV at the time (Ivor the Engine) - I don't remember the cartoon, but other people my age would likely have had the same exposure. And then with Idris Elba being successful, that lends a kind of respect to the name, showing that it isn't just a cute character, it's also a serious adult name. I liked the association with Wales as well as my grandma was Welsh, but that's not something that would change generationally.

Tobias is another example of a name that I really liked and haven't met a lot of - this is also beginning to climb.

Something else to bear in mind is that the popular names today are still not as popular as they were in the past. If you look at Jack for example which was at number 1 in 1996, there were 10,779 Jacks born in that year, which represented about 3.2% of all boys. But the number 1 boys' name in 2021 was Noah and there were only 4,525 born (1.4% of boys). If you try to find the name that is about as popular in 1996 as Noah is today, it was Adam, which was 16th most popular. Sure, it is a very "normal" name (some might say boring) but I don't think I've known that many Adams. Maybe two? Whereas I can think of at least five Jacks that I've been at school with, friends' boyfriends, brothers etc.

In 1996, the top 10 boys' names represented 24% of all boys born that year, and the top 20 was 38%. Over half of boys had a name which was one of the top 33 names.

In 2021, the top 10 boys' names only represent 11% of all boys born that year. You don't even get to 24% until you get to rank 31 - I got bored and didn't keep going to find the 50% tipping point.

Girls' names are more varied, in 2021 and 1996, but the change to more name variation continues as well -
in 2021, 9% of girls had a name in the top ten, 15% top 20.
19% top ten in 1996, 31% top 20. The tipping point of 50% is top 60 names.

It's often the 'tey a bit harders' that you get in multiples.

My son has a classic biblical name normally in the top 10 but he's never had another in his school let alone his class. But at one point we had three Sonnys!

With girls it was Ava. We have two Ava's and two Eva's. Both were deemed unusual about a decade ago when these kids were named.

I've met four baby Willows in the last month but no Olivia's.

The point is that many people seek to avoid the top ten of the years before but those names then reduce in popularity and the 'unusual' names below them them proliferate.

Same here, though my Ds name isn't uber unique I can never find his name on personalised stuff in shops, has to be ordered specifically and it does make you feel a twinge. I love my son's name though

I agree with this.

I work with children and some of the names the parents saddle their children with is utterly awful and quite frankly ridiculous.

Each to their own but there is nothing wrong with a popular, decent name. Not at all.

I always feel that the desire for “unique” names is a bit trailer trash culture - see Kath and Kim, and Eppon-Knee ! (Or however they spelt it).

But then it’s probably a class thing. There is a handful of names in my family that have been passed down for at least 5 centuries. I have forbears with my exact name in most generations; I really like it.