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Original poster

Godmother stole my son's name

322 replies

MagsMaggie · 06/09/2023 11:16

My baby son's Godmother recently had a baby boy and called her son the EXACT same name as my son, her Godson. She did not even ask us before stealing his name. I know that my son does not "own a name" however we did not use another name as she asked us not to. The name we gave our son is unusual. She had not heard of the name until we named our son. What type of Godmother names her newborn son after her baby godson? Our sons are so close in age. She even used the exact same spelling. My partner and I are angry. Are we being unreasonable? I feel like she has ended her relationship with us by doing this

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ohdamnitjanet · 07/09/2023 06:58

Change your baby’s name to the one you really wanted then, the one she stopped you using. Nice and passive aggressive.

grumpycow1 · 07/09/2023 07:01

I think it’s bizarre, but the first mistake was not using a name because she said so….

grumpycow1 · 07/09/2023 07:01

ohdamnitjanet · 07/09/2023 06:58

Change your baby’s name to the one you really wanted then, the one she stopped you using. Nice and passive aggressive.

This 😂

Channellingsophistication · 07/09/2023 07:02

I think for you both to be angry is an overreaction. She is free to call her child what she wants albeit a little strange she has chosen the same name if its very unusual.

Channellingsophistication · 07/09/2023 07:02

I think for you both to be angry is an overreaction. She is free to call her child what she wants albeit a little strange she has chosen the same name if its very unusual.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 07/09/2023 07:02

You can't own a name exclusively. She may be his godmother but she has the right to call her own son the same name without any judgement from anyone! It might have been her favourite name forever. And even if she was copying......take it as a massive compliment.

MrsJellybee · 07/09/2023 07:03

This isn't about a name. This is about power. The godmother is asserting control by vetoing a name and then copying yours. She's showing you a double standard to show you who's boss.

WanderinStar · 07/09/2023 07:08

The only good thing about this is the gm has revealed herself to be weirdly jealous and clearly has issues. I'd create some distance if I were you.

Caro678 · 07/09/2023 07:11

So yes it bothers people - it’s caused hurt, and I think that should be recognized.

But why? What is the hurtful thing about it? I just don’t understand. Loads of people both in my family, and in the community, and in the past, over probably thousands of years, have the same name as me. If anything, I think it’s a nice thing we have in common. Otherwise, it just seems a matter of no consequence. It doesn’t affect me in any negative way. My name is still my name. The idea of being angry or going as far as cutting off a sibling or friend over this just seems incomprehensible to me.

WonderingWanda · 07/09/2023 07:12

It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but the fact that woman asked you not to use a name means she is aware it is generally considered a bit ridiculous to copy a name of someone very close to you. She is clearly a temporarily unhinged with all the hormones to decide she wants the exact name. Roll your eyes and let her get on with it. I am sure at some point in the future she will have a realisation and cringe at herself.

SpringIntoChaos · 07/09/2023 07:17

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 07/09/2023 07:02

You can't own a name exclusively. She may be his godmother but she has the right to call her own son the same name without any judgement from anyone! It might have been her favourite name forever. And even if she was copying......take it as a massive compliment.

But it wasn't 'her favourite name forever' was it, because she'd already asked the OP not to use ANOTHER name that she had already chosen (so presumably that was her favourite name forever' 🤷‍♀️)

Totaly · 07/09/2023 07:19

I just don’t understand. Loads of people both in my family, and in the community

Maybe think of it as cultural? You could say eating pork is fine don’t know why people are bothered - when clearly it’s a cultural issue for some. Doesn’t make one right and one wrong.

What’s wrong with it is there are thousands of great names to choose from and pinching a close friends child’s name is at best rude and thoughtless or in this case spiteful.

It also shows a lack of thought towards OP and her feelings in the matter. She’s hurt and she has every right to feel hurt and angry.

Why would you do that to someone you are supposed to care about?

If it’s ‘just a name’ then why not chose ‘just a different name’

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/09/2023 07:23

How old is your child? Can you not change his name to the original name?

Bansheed · 07/09/2023 07:24

My cousin named her dog the same name as my son last year.

What makes it funnier is that when we were both pregnant at the same time 10 years ago, discussing names, I had told her his name and she had wrinkled her nose, saying they were going more 'modern'.

Hugo.

The sign of a solid MC name is the amount of labs that have it in the dog park, appara.

JCWiatt · 07/09/2023 07:27

Totaly · 07/09/2023 06:53

I hate this ‘just’ a name

When naming kids we don’t put a pin in a book and go ‘ah it’s just a name’

if it was we’d ask the midwife to choose.

Names have meanings, they need to fit the baby into adulthood, parents discuss and agonize over choices and even fall out over it. Some names make your blood ruin cold. Some names bring joy and happy memories.

All this ’gosh nothing to be upset about’ when clearly it is something people do get upset about.

If you are one of those people who ‘don’t own a name’ do you realize you are causing hurt and upset to others?

My sisters have children ‘with the same name’ and they haven’t spoken in 25 years. That’s how upset the older one was.

It hasn’t made a difference to the children involved? They both had one less cousin to play with.

If you stole a name can you hand on heart say it really didn’t make a difference having your child call Sarah’s Molly or Dawn’s Moly?

If think very differently of someone named their child the same as a close friend.

So yes it bothers people - it’s caused hurt, and I think that should be recognized.

I agree. As a minimum and to be considerate, it should be mentioned. My friend and I discussed lots of names for her DD. Over a period of months. I then get a text announcing the birth with the same name as my DD. She'd never once given an indication she liked the name and I was annoyed she hadn't said anything. I think it makes a difference when it's someone close. Unless it's a special name/family name/is usual in your circle, then I would never choose the same name as a friend.

Loz2323 · 07/09/2023 07:27

Can't believe people are telling you to end a relationship over a name for Gods sake! Its a name, so she named her kid the same as yours, so what!? How in any way, shape or form does that impact on your life? My dad, brother and a bunch of uncles all have the same name and no one gives a flying fig about it.

VeloVixen · 07/09/2023 07:29

She’s done you a favour and shown her true colours. Ditch her.

JCWiatt · 07/09/2023 07:33

Loz2323 · 07/09/2023 07:27

Can't believe people are telling you to end a relationship over a name for Gods sake! Its a name, so she named her kid the same as yours, so what!? How in any way, shape or form does that impact on your life? My dad, brother and a bunch of uncles all have the same name and no one gives a flying fig about it.

But it does matter to some people and it costs nothing to be considerate and at least mention you like the same name.

Maireas · 07/09/2023 07:34

She's the Godmother. She has made a holy vow to reject Satan's Wiles and Mores. Maybe remind her of that.
Or just ignore her.

Symphony830 · 07/09/2023 07:34

NewMammyof1 · 06/09/2023 11:53

She asked you not to use a name, you did not use that name and chose a different name? Then she copied that name without asking first? So she can control what names you use but she can do as she pleases? She is being unreasonable

This ⬆️

MrsPerfect12 · 07/09/2023 07:47

I wouldn't be happy it's a really weird thing to do. Clearly all your friends think it's off too. You need to say something then take a massive step back if cutting her off isn't an option.
if you have anymore children, don't discuss names with anyone but your DH so it doesn't get back.

Angrycat2768 · 07/09/2023 07:48

My DS2 and my niece are 6 months apart. When she was born, she was named an Almost exact name that I wanted if DS been a girl ( he was born 6 months later) Its a common name, and my dil and I aren't that close ( geographically or personally) but I still wouldn't have used the name if DS had been a girl, at the very least I'd have had the common courtesy to mention that I loved the name and given her a heads up that I was going to use it. More to the point, why have you chosen as a godmother a woman who will use her newborn baby to get one over on her ' friend'?

Beautiful3 · 07/09/2023 07:48

I think it's werid and rude of her. I'd ask what happened to the name she made you drop, as she wanted to call her child it?! I'd tell her its silly to name hers the exact same names as yours, because everyone is going to get mixed up. Also doesn't she want her child to be different and have their own name? So strange on so.many levels. I didn't want to name our children the same name as anyone in our families, for those reasons.

jazzyfips · 07/09/2023 07:49

YABU. Anyone can chose any name they wish.

Moveoverdarlin · 07/09/2023 07:51

I’d be fuming too OP. It’s really odd and worse that she never told you. The whole point of choosing an unusual name is to be a bit different and for your best friend to steal it does seem a bit nasty.