Godmother stole my son's name

[MagsMaggie]

My baby son's Godmother recently had a baby boy and called her son the EXACT same name as my son, her Godson. She did not even ask us before stealing his name. I know that my son does not "own a name" however we did not use another name as she asked us not to. The name we gave our son is unusual. She had not heard of the name until we named our son. What type of Godmother names her newborn son after her baby godson? Our sons are so close in age. She even used the exact same spelling. My partner and I are angry. Are we being unreasonable? I feel like she has ended her relationship with us by doing this

YANBU. MN is so weird about names. Apparently most of the posters when asked this question wouldn't be bothered if their best friend chose the exact same name with the exact same spelling for their DC as you just chose for yours. It's a shitty thing to do OP and you're right to be upset. Out of the thousands of names out there, why would anyone choose the same one as their friend, whose DC you're godmother to???

YANBU. This is an absolute cheek. I wouldn't bother with her again. Most people avoid using names of children of close friends and relatives. But especially cheeky and inconsiderate of a godparent. Go nc.

How old is your baby? If very young I would be tempted to think about changing his name to the original one that you didn't use.

This!

Let her have the next baby first then steal that name when you have yours!

Lol. Perhaps you should have copyrighted the name to prevent such blatant theft.

Honestly, it’s weird and you have every right to be pissed off - all this nobody owns a name is bollocks. She’s a close friend who you have mutual friends with etc..she doesn’t respect you at all.

It’s weird, definitely getting SWF vibes.

So, have I got this right? You were both pregnant at roughly the same time and you mentioned a name you liked but she asked you not to use it because they wanted to.

You then respected that and chose a different name instead. You have your little boy and call him the new name and ask her to be a godmother.

She then has her little boy and instead of using the name she asked you not to use, she chose your 'replacement' name instead.
Is that right?

If so, I'd change your baby's name to the one you originally liked and let her get on with it.

Mind you, if she has form for jealousy type behaviour, why did you ask her to be a godmother? Is she a family member?

I agree.

Also everyone will know you had your baby first so she's the one that will look odd. They'll go to different schools etc there shouldn't be any issues. Plenty of friends have the same name as each other

Seriously?? They must be exceptionally good friends for the friend to be chosen as godmother. You'd end a strong friendship over a name choice? Without even discussing it with your good friend first?

I wouldn't even mention it but if I did it would be along the lines of a jokey you're a copy cat haha anyway.

Op how can you be so sure she'd never have heard of the name before you?

I agree

How old is your son, OP? In this instance, I’d actually seriously consider changing his name back to the original one you wanted, and to be honest I’d tell her why you’ve done that and then let the friendship fizzle.

Normally I’m very “you can’t own a name”, but this is very weird, and I think she knows that as she didn’t say anything beforehand.

Ok I take back my earlier comments a bit- this actually does make your friend a weirdo.

You shouldn't have listened to her but, seeing as she directly asked you and you did listen, she should have applied the same rule to herself,

She's strange. Does she do other weird things?

What are SWF vibes?

Maybe think of it as cultural? You could say eating pork is fine don’t know why people are bothered - when clearly it’s a cultural issue for some. Doesn’t make one right and one wrong.

Well ok, but in the case of not eating pork if you asked the person there is a reason behind it, which is something like God has said its unclean, and they think that life is best lived according the rules set out by God in the holy book, so it would be unhealthy for them to eat it.

If I ask why it’s bad to have the same name as someone else, the answer just seems to be “it would make me angry”. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for the anger? What are the negative consequences, aside from the anger itself?

It was hard enough to come to a decision between me and DH about names that sounded nice and were meaningful to us. I wouldn’t have thought to consult anyone else about what I name my own child and if someone told me not to use a certain name because they intended to name an as yet nonexistent child with it I would have 1. Assumed they were joking 2.laughed. 3. Given my child whatever name I had chosen for them. I have only become aware that having the same name would upset some people by reading threads about it on Mumsnet. It’s not something I have ever come across in RL.

I think if it was a distant friend it wouldn't bother me. We used the same name as a distant friend, tried not to initially but came back to it as loved it so much. I still messaged her saying I hope she didn't mind when introducing our baby via text.

I would find it very strange if a really close friend had used the same name and not mentioned it at all. I know you can't own a name but I think it's very strange not to acknowledge that you've used the same and why.

If born close together, perhaps they had already chosen and started calling their little one that name? I would be annoyed and confused with no explanation too.

That is very very weird

Op can I ask why you chose this friend to be godparent? What qualities does she have?
And have you don't a christening or equivalent ceremony of is it an honorary title that you can perhaps give to someone else?

Is this really something worth getting angry about? It's just a name. If it is unique, I can almost guarantee you both kids will hate is as soon as they are old enough to be asked to spell it.
She asked you not to use another name, you could have said no. Nobody forced you to agree.
I bet you didn't even talk to her about it before soliciting strangers' opinions online. What does it say about your friendship?

In real life, I don't know anyone who would choose the exact same name as their very good friend/close relative. Especially a super rare name.

YANBU OP - I'd be baffled by this.

This is a good idea, especially if you really liked the first name.

She sounds very odd OP, I'd be asking her straight what's she playing at?

She genuinely sounds unhinged. Asking you not to use a name when you are having the baby first and then using your child's name is properly sociopathic. I honestly would run a mile, not out of anger, but because she's clearly not a normal human being which is unsettling.

Honestly I think she’s a CF. Especially if she asked you not to use another name and you didn’t! Sounds a rubbish friend to me.

What is the age difference in the boys?