Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

[Maxinemumof2]

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

I think she may be sending some kind of message to her own father. Who knows.

Unless it's a very unusual name, maybe she just really likes the name? My brother has a daughter with a name I really like, if I had a daughter I would still have used it. Because no one owns a name. I've probably upset the in laws by not using their names as that's the tradition in their family. Can't stand the names so no chance. Someone is always going to be upset.

I think the entire things weird!

Do people usually name their kids after their parents?

Its a bit of a slap in the face for your mum if you were planning to call your female child after your dad.

I also feel sorry for your half sisters dad or her partners parents who don’t get a mention with the names.

Surely if you were going to call your baby a name associated with your dads name then it wouldn’t be fair on your mum or your partners parents.

I think it’s very weird she named her child after her stepdad.

But you need to not let it get to you as it seems it’s more of a situation between you two and you are both competing fir either your dads attention or just to get one over on each other.

Have a think of some other names you both like but not named after anyone else.

“It does seem a bit strange that she’s named her child after her step dad if she has a good bio dad”

Maybe she doesn’t like the feminised version of her bio dad’s name. Maybe it’s Nigella!

This!!

Be embarrassed for her and do something entirely different, whether that’s start from scratch, go outside the box, honour people who are important to you - but in a values based way - not choosing their actual names.

Can’t believe she nailed your shared mother’s name and will now feminise your father’s name before you get a look in wtf. She’s got every base covered.

Just get out. Don’t play this game at all

Thank you. We have a list of names we like. So time to go through that. You are very understanding

@Maxinemumof2 I highly recommend that you calm yourself and put your half sister, niece and nephew out of your head.

Choose your new baby a name you really love. Give her two middle names if you want to honour family members and if at the end of the day it’s a form of either of your parents’ names, say you were channeling George Foreman 😉
George has 12 children, including 5 sons named George and 1 of his 7 daughters is Georgetta 😆

Most of all enjoy this time and the time of a new little life. Don’t let anything eat you up.

You really do not like people telling you that you are in the wrong do you @Maxinemumof2 ??? You should have said you only want people who agree with you, (and think you are in the right,) to respond. Would have saved so much time for many posters.

Of COURSE you are in the wrong. It's got shag-all to do with you what anyone calls their baby. You sound like hard work, and huffy and demanding. Your (half) sister probably did it to piss you off tbh. I know I would if you were MY sister. Also, as pps have said, such rude and unpleasant comments about him not being her dad and 'only' her step dad, and claiming YOUR child will be his first grandchild. RUDE!!!!

I agree with Reddit (and some posters here.) Get over yourself. And grow up.

Your poor mother must feel very left out with everyone desperate to name their little girls after your father.

The name isn't actually after your father though is it, unless you are actually using his name. It's just a feminine version of his name.

If you're going to give a little girl a feminine version of a man's name there are surely several options available to you. Your step sister has used only one of those options.

Are you ok?

Time got a little lie down maybe? 😬

Honestly I assumed your Dad was dead from all this fuss! You didn’t tell her you wanted to name your daughter after your Dad, so why shouldn’t she?

There’s probably a different version of the name you can use eg Nicolette rather than Nicola if you’re that bothered, or just use it as a middle name.

The mere fact you say you told her you wanted to call your daughter after a family ‘but you weren’t sure who’ does rather make me think you weren’t planning this until she did.

Anyway, put your toys back in the pram and grow up. No one owns a name.

Was/Is your father close to his parents? Did/do you get along with your paternal grandparents? If you like the name maybe naming your child after his mum might be a sweet gesture to your dad, honouring and remembering his mum. Provided of course they had a loving relationship!

*Sorry should have said half sister, not step sister.

“I before she gave birth. Maybe 4 to 5 months before. So it's not like I arrived in the hospital and decided "Oh the baby is gonna be named Alexandra".

But did you actually tell your half sister about this decision?

You were an asshole the second you said your baby will be his first grandchild. It isn't, your sisters baby is his first grandchild. He helped raise her from 2yo. Honestly you sound possessive and jealous. No matter why she chose it, no one owns a name. If you wanted it badly you should have had that conversation with your sister, and even then she wouldn't be an asshole for picking what name she wanted anyway.

Just use the name too.

Call your baby the same name. I have several family members that have the same name. Some used derivatives for nicknames some didn't. We had at least 5 Dorothys in our small town that were all related.
Also I think you abu by referring to your child as the "first" grandchild. With the girls only being a few months apart I hope they are able to grow up together.

Exactly this. ^ And as a pp said, how must the mother feel with all this desperation to name the babies after the dad/step dad. As you say, time for the OP to put her toys back in the pram, and grow up, and get over herself. As I said, to post on here, and get all huffy and sniffy because people say she is being unreasonable is ludicrous. And she is being so RUDE towards her (half) sister.

Grow up . It's only a name and there are only a limited amount of them , unless you make up your own

Exactly - so rude and unpleasant to say HER baby is his first grandchild! As I said, I do wonder if her half sister did this to annoy her. OP sounds so demanding and irksome that she may have done it to annoy her. Even if the half sister DIDN'T do it on purpose - from the way the OP is kicking off, she would have found SOME reason to slate her half sister!

How many more people do you need to tell you you’re BU 😂
she was raised since she was 2 by that man. She can have two father figures.
she didn’t get on with her step mum so perhaps even though you think her dad is a very nice man, she has some resentment of that situation. Or maybe she just picked a name she liked. It’s done now either way
So name the baby after your dad, pick a slightly different name that is linked eg Henry to Harry or Harold, find a different name in your dads family to use - a middle name or his dads name for example. Or pick a different name. That’s it. There’s nothing to be gained from making a fuss now, the child is already named.

I can see how it's annoying for someone close to you to name their child the name you were planning, just a little before you give birth. That doesn't mean you can't use the name though.

For all you know she expected you to name your child after your mother, and decided to to do something a little more unusual and name her daughter after her father figure instead. Or she may just like the name. Maybe she doesn't like the feminine version of her biological dad's name.

Either way it's not likely to be to try to take anything away from you. And it's not unusual to have the same name as your cousin.

Just use the name you want to use regardless.

You’ve said she’s called her older child after you mum and now her youngest after your dad, despite having her own dad. And that if you did the same with her dads name she’d kick off.

Sounds like a horrible person to be honest.

He’s your dad, I would absolutely call your baby after him still. Is there another female version of his name? Or a nickname?

this seems another way in which blended families are complicated. You’re allowed your own emotions on this, regardless of whether anyone else thinks you’re unreasonable for not considering your blended family in the way you’re told you should.

The bottom line is that you are your father’s daughter, she isn’t, and your child will be his first grandchild. I don’t think you’re wrong in thinking your relationship with him is different to the relationship your half sister has with him. Most people want to be considered special to their own parents, it’s hardly an outrageous desire.

Ignore your sister and name your child the name you want.

Reddit is right.

Thanks for your inputs, even the rude ones. I might be petty indeed, though I'd describe it annoyance. Her father figure, is her own father. He didn't stop being her father because he divorced our mother. She was going there every other week, going on holidays with her step-sibling and paternal half siblings.

No, she wasn't supposed to know the family member was my dad.

I am planning on keeping my family name, and giving the baby my family name. So I am going to leave it at that.