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Baby names

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Original poster

DD hates her name and surname

379 replies

9thFloorNightmare · 25/01/2023 22:21

She is 15 now.

The pregnancy was so good, the only issue was finding a name!
I could not choose. It was agony.

One day, just before her birth, I woke up from a lovely afternoon nap, the TV was on and 1st thing I heard / saw was an ad of a product with a human and - the image of a lovely young girl (I didn't know the baby's sex). Right at that time I decided if she was a girl she would have that name.

It is an international (could be pretty much from a lot of different countries and cultures) short, simple, easy to spell, sounds good (to my ears) name. In hindsight I could have choses a middle name, but I jus't couldn't ;(

She hates it. Hates her surname too which is a traditional surname in the UK.

Any one dealing with the same at home?

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DarkNecessities · 28/01/2023 10:51

MrsRaspberry · 28/01/2023 09:28

See if you're asking for advice you could at least share a first name. Nobodys about to find out exactly who she is by a surname as I'm guessing its not exclusive to just one single person unless you mashed a made up name together that n

The OP is asking for advice on the situation, not the name.

The name is totally irrelevant

Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:01

Betque · 28/01/2023 08:33

I think with the singer hint I can work out your daughter’s name. It’s probably considered an old fashioned forename and is paired with a very common surname.

Do you know if it’s one name or the combination she has an issue with? I’d probably ask her to think carefully about what she’d like to change and assist her with this. She’s 15, her whole life ahead of her, let her name reflect who she wants to be.

feel free to PM me with your guess

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:02

Newstart2023 · 28/01/2023 08:03

MARIE? MARIA? X

neither

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:03

Mummyof3Me2021 · 27/01/2023 09:58

Miley

no

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:04

BridieConvert · 28/01/2023 07:04

it is her dad's surname - I took the same upon marriage - so we could have the same but kept after divorce -

is the divorce recent? Does she have a relationship with her dad?
my parents split when I was 8 and my mum kept all our surnames as my dad’s name, at the time we were happy with this but as I got older I definitely had a phase as a teenager where I wished we didn’t have his name (we have no relationship). I wonder if the same is happening here? Could you speak to your daughter to find out exactly what her concerns are?
I also went through a phase of hating my first name although that was at a much younger age, I’ve been going by a shortened nickname since about 12/13 though.

the divorce was 9 years ago and they have a good relationship

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:07

NOTANUM · 28/01/2023 09:18

I think I’ve guessed the name but won’t put it here as I know you don’t want to reveal.

I know you said it’s unisex but does it sound more male than female? Is it a Frankie or Bobbi type vibe? I won’t say my guess but I wonder if that is what jars for her.

At this age they’re exploring who they are and creating their own narrative around that. If it wasn’t the name it would be something else. I was told I was pronouncing one of my teens’ names wrong, despite being the person who picked it!

Regardless of the name, I’d go all cool and say that you love it but if she doesn’t, she can change it when she’s an adult and can pay for it. That’s true anyhow and makes it clear it’s a choice.

No, it is vert female name, no way I male would have her name at all. In fact since I didn't know the baby's sex before birth, if she was a boy I would be stuck for names! I was happy I could find at leats 1 girl's name

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:08

NOTANUM · 28/01/2023 09:18

I think I’ve guessed the name but won’t put it here as I know you don’t want to reveal.

I know you said it’s unisex but does it sound more male than female? Is it a Frankie or Bobbi type vibe? I won’t say my guess but I wonder if that is what jars for her.

At this age they’re exploring who they are and creating their own narrative around that. If it wasn’t the name it would be something else. I was told I was pronouncing one of my teens’ names wrong, despite being the person who picked it!

Regardless of the name, I’d go all cool and say that you love it but if she doesn’t, she can change it when she’s an adult and can pay for it. That’s true anyhow and makes it clear it’s a choice.

Did I say unisex? I don't think I did, because it isn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:11

hot2trotter · 28/01/2023 10:49

Honestly, I think she and you both need to get a grip. If she's that unhappy she can change it herself in a couple of years by deed poll. No big deal.

Imagine if we had only BIG DEALS thread os MN!

Get a grip everybody, you with your little ridiculous threads and "games"!

This is mostly a first world problem forum, am I wrong?

Nothing wrong with having some conversation?

I a

OP posts:
GruelandaCandle · 28/01/2023 11:14

I was given a name that hadn’t been in use for close to 100 years and in all my years have only met one other woman with that name. Then I married a man who has a really rare ancient Anglo Saxon family name that is dying out.

I met a Demelza once, She was a student of mine, I asked if her Mother had enjoyed Poldark, well of course she had.

My DS hated his name at one point, now he has grown up he doesn’t mind at all. If she hates it that much she can change by deed poll when she is an adult.

Grizzledstrawberry · 28/01/2023 11:30

My 15 year old changed her name last year, she didn't like her birth name, everyone now calls her by her new name, took a while to get used to saying a new name but we got there and she picked a perfectly nice normal name that suits her well.
I didn't feel like I could stop her, its her name, her identity so she should be able to do as she pleases with it, I want to raise independent strong children so blocking any choices she makes about herself would go against that.

The way I see it too is, teenagers will rebel against anything we say, if I had said no it would have been a much bigger deal then it is now and if she wants to go back go her birth name then people will just start calling her it again, its no big deal, people got used to this name and will get used to going back.

I would however put a stop to it if she expected to change her name every month. I also hate the phrase 'deadname' as kids now call their birth name, she knows not to use that phrase around me, can't bear thinking anything about my child is 'dead' it makes me shudder.

OptimisticSix · 28/01/2023 11:43

My guess (in the non guessing game) would be Daisy

dworky · 28/01/2023 11:51

I remember hating all my names. I grew out of it.

Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 11:52

OptimisticSix · 28/01/2023 11:43

My guess (in the non guessing game) would be Daisy

What product and America singer are called Daisy?

(it isn't Daisy)

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 28/01/2023 12:12

I reckon Macy after Maceys and Ms Grey but it doesn't really matter does it.
You said you're happy for her to change it so let her. If you're OK with that, it's unclear what the thread is actually about

Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 28/01/2023 12:14

SleepingStandingUp · 28/01/2023 12:12

I reckon Macy after Maceys and Ms Grey but it doesn't really matter does it.
You said you're happy for her to change it so let her. If you're OK with that, it's unclear what the thread is actually about

the thread is about people sharing experiences and ideas

OP posts:
MrsRaspberry · 28/01/2023 13:07

People may like an idea of a first name to determine if its awful enough to justify why she doesn't like it. I mean not everyone is happy with their name but if you're after advice on how to reassure her about her insecurities a first name would be helpful to gain the advice you may need. No one is going to find your kid on social media by a first name alone. Im guessing this name isn't unique as such just that your kid happens to not be a fan of it. Ask her why and support her if she wants to really change it in time. No ones going to look her up anywhere to bash her for not wanting the name her parents gave to her

niugboo · 28/01/2023 13:08

It’s very common these days for teens who hate their names to change them. This whole being stuck with it thing seems to not be the trend.

not much you can do. Tell her you love it (I assume you do) but support her if she wants to change it.

tolerable · 28/01/2023 13:16

@9thFloorNightmare . S'no REALLY about the name as such..its the blaming you...youre struggling with..fairynuf.
as u say-she can change it\adapt\drop whatever
your 15 year old is.......maybe 100percent truthfully against her name...
but youve passed that bit...n shes still angry\blaming\dragging out a drama....
so dig bit deeper-you mention possible retain same surname...that she also hates...
would she be anyhappier if you both return to your surname. youve got a 15 yr old processessing a broken relationship n masking her very real feelings cos shes not expressing\expressed them ..shes still the child in all that.
is that whats actually likely?

meringue33 · 28/01/2023 14:06

Dionne

Sd352 · 28/01/2023 14:14

Is it Dolly? I love Dolly Parton but I can see why it wouldn’t be an appealing name. In any case, I went through a phase of disliking my name when I was a teenager (tbh still don’t realllly love it) but learned to live with it. I much prefer my parents’ second choice name (that they were dissuaded from using by their friends because of how it could sound, but any name can be mocked by annoying kids).

Sd352 · 28/01/2023 14:15

Ignore the Dolly comment — I see you said no Ys

hereforwhatever · 28/01/2023 14:23

I knew a girl who'd been called Agnes (after an aunt). She initially shortened it to Ags or Aggie but hated it so she reversed it and for a while became known as Senga.

Could you daughter reverse or swop the letters round in her name?

CatA27 · 28/01/2023 14:37

I think most young girls go through a phase of not liking their name, I did, tried my middle name for a while and then started spelling my name with a y instead of an I. My daughter also decided she wanted to be Libby instead of Beth (her actual name is Elizabeth) and would ignore us if we called her Beth! We both grew out of it though and I now love my name (except if someone calls me Cath or Cathy!)

Quiffniff · 28/01/2023 14:58

I know it’s not a guessing game but I am compelled my the clues!

Short, easy to spell, feminine, US singer

Tina

I know I won’t find out but I feel better for guessing.

I hope your daughter learns to love it or changes her name to one she does.

Quiffniff · 28/01/2023 15:00

And shortened by one letter is Tia