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Original poster

Ruined child's life with the name?

219 replies

Leolala · 13/12/2022 20:24

So the DD name is Alexia. At the time of her birth I was aware of dyslexia term but it was not everywhere like it is now and it never appeared to either of us that alexia is also a medical term, we just struggled to find a name and both really liked it. When we googled it back then we discovered it meant “men defender” and thought it had a good meaning.

She is 8 and I am constantly obsessing over the choice we've made to the point that I am not sure if also made a mistake with our second DC name. She can't go by Alexa either for obvious reasons - mumsnet constantly slams both of the names whenever they come up. This made my anxiety worse with all the negative comments over both of the names.

I do feel like I would want to change it but DD loves her name and doesn’t want any NN or other name. She is not aware of negative connotations but she may find out one day.

Is the name really that bad? What would you think if you hear it on a playground?

OP posts:
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CheesesandWines · 13/12/2022 22:14

Do you think Alexia has dyslexia ?

Banoffe · 13/12/2022 22:14

It's a nice name, I would never have linked Alexia and Dyslexia together, just wouldn't have thought about it. If she loves it, I'd try and get over it. There are plenty of lovely nicknames with her name that she can choose later on if she wishes.
Try and keep your feelings about her name to yourself so you don't give her a complex about it, it's likely none of the issues you have with it will ever come up and it is lovely she likes her name.

silverbubbles · 13/12/2022 22:15

Alexia is a lovely name. I have known 2 Alexias and it has never crossed my mind that its like dyslexia!! I would have loved to call my daughter this name but as it is quite unusual it would have seemed like i was using my friends name so I didn't.

Your daughter has a beautiful name.

Echobelly · 13/12/2022 22:20

She likes her name. She appears to have suffered no issues from it. I think you can safely say you have not ruined her life with it.

Get some help about invasive thoughts if it is upsetting you this much.

saraclara · 13/12/2022 22:21

you DO risk ruining her 8th year (if not beyond) if you progress with any plans to change the name she loves.

That.
The name isn't damaging your daughter. But you will damage her if you persist in giving her the impression that there's something wrong with it and that she should change it.

Seriously, you need to talk to a professional before you give your happy child a real complex about her name. You have some kind of obsession that needs resolving for both your sakes.

Pallisers · 13/12/2022 22:22

Call her Allie if you want to move away from Alexia

But Alexia is a perfectly lovely name. Half the girls in my dd's high school hockey team were called Alexia or Alex or Alexa - the name was popular for a reason.

I think you may be anxious and have hung on to the name as the focus of your anxiety but really it is nothing to do with the name.

ScreamingBeans · 13/12/2022 22:23

Just start calling her Lexi for short.

Psychonabike · 13/12/2022 22:24

You need to let it go and stop over-thinking things, focusing on what other people might think.

Lots of names out there have additional meanings, or get known for other connotations. You can't really predict it.

Malena =bloody poo
Amelia =missing limb

Karen
Madeline
Isis (resulted in a lot of naming regret after 9/11)
(and going back a fair bit, Sharon & Tracey, and well before that, Fanny!)

The thing is these things happen universally and there's nothing you can do to avoid it. Names just become a sound that helps us bring to mind an individual anyway. E.g. obviously I'm familiar with the Karen meme...but does it come into my mind, at all, when I think about my friend Karen? Nope -it just feels like a completely separate thing.

saraclara · 13/12/2022 22:25

ScreamingBeans · 13/12/2022 22:23

Just start calling her Lexi for short.

OP had already said that her daughter doesn't want to be called a shortened version. She loves her name. She's eight years old, and her name is her identity. Parents can't go deciding that she's called something else, even a diminutive, when their child is eight years old.

Purplepurse · 13/12/2022 22:25

She doesn't want to be called Lexi!
Let the poor child use her given name. You need to get help because honestly this is a ridiculous obsession. It really is a lovely name.

pinkpotatoez · 13/12/2022 22:26

Very normal name imo

maranella · 13/12/2022 22:27

I like Alexia and I'm really fussy about names! Don't overthink it OP. Your DD likes her name and she's 8 - it's not like you can change it now. If you're really depressed though you should go and see your GP. It's not normal to be agonising to such an extent over a name you gave your DC 8 years ago!

saraclara · 13/12/2022 22:27

Purplepurse · 13/12/2022 22:25

She doesn't want to be called Lexi!
Let the poor child use her given name. You need to get help because honestly this is a ridiculous obsession. It really is a lovely name.

This. I feel for the poor child. Rejecting her name is tantamount to rejecting her identity at that age.

Honestly OP, this obsession and these intrusive thoughts of yours are indicative of a condition that needs professional help.

Orangebadger · 13/12/2022 22:27

It's a lovely name. It was in my top 5 list for my DD. I have never heard of any negative connotations for Alexia until reading this thread. I work I work in medicine, have never come across Alexia as a diagnosis!

Twillow · 13/12/2022 22:28

It's a lovely name with a super meaning and DD loves it - try to stop worrying. Hopefully this thread has reassured you x

RambamThankyouMam · 13/12/2022 22:30

It's a bit medical-sounding.

bagelsandcheese · 13/12/2022 22:31

I think it's a lovely name. my child is dyslexic so the word dyslexic comes up a lot for us and I don't think it's similar to the name Alexia at all. it's a beautiful name.

Butterbeer4All · 13/12/2022 22:31

There's nothing wrong with your DDs name, it's lovely and she likes it.

Sampagne · 13/12/2022 22:33

RambamThankyouMam · 13/12/2022 22:30

It's a bit medical-sounding.

Honestly, reading OP’s posts, HOW did you think this was helpful input for someone clearly obsessing and struggling over something that is completely unreasonable to change now? Jeez.

dancingqueen123 · 13/12/2022 22:34

I think you might need to see a therapist op for your anxiety.
You can't change an 8 year old's name.
She likes it.
It's a lovely name.
Step away from social media.
You need to get over it & move on Flowers

Tigertigertigertiger · 13/12/2022 22:35

It’s a beautiful name.
strong and feminine

nobird · 13/12/2022 22:35

Oh my goodness, you really need to get over this. Your daughter’s name is fine and she likes it. There are much bigger problems in the world. Move on.

NameChange1718 · 13/12/2022 22:35

loads of nicknames available if she ever is bothered by it

Lexi
Lex
Alex
Ali
Zia (I know it means aunt in Italian)

I wouldn’t think anything at all if I heard that name

ChilliHeelerFanClub · 13/12/2022 22:38

I am 42 and my name is Alexia. My life is not ruined 😂 No one has ever said anything negative and if they did, I’d just think they were a twat.

Get therapy for your obsession before you damage your daughter’s confident personality.

BreatheAndFocus · 13/12/2022 22:41

You’re totally over-focussing on this, OP! I can’t believe your anxiety is solely coming from your DD’s name. There must be more to it.

Alexia is fine as a name. People hearing it will group it with similar names like Alexis, Alexa, Alexandra, Alex, Alexandria. They won’t think about the medical condition. Most importantly, it’s your DD’s name - it’s who she is and she likes it.

Get support for your anxiety; stop trying to impose a NN on your DD; and say or imply nothing bad to her about the name. You’re obsessing over it and it’s completely unnecessary and detrimental to your DD.