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Original poster

Ruined child's life with the name?

219 replies

Leolala · 13/12/2022 20:24

So the DD name is Alexia. At the time of her birth I was aware of dyslexia term but it was not everywhere like it is now and it never appeared to either of us that alexia is also a medical term, we just struggled to find a name and both really liked it. When we googled it back then we discovered it meant “men defender” and thought it had a good meaning.

She is 8 and I am constantly obsessing over the choice we've made to the point that I am not sure if also made a mistake with our second DC name. She can't go by Alexa either for obvious reasons - mumsnet constantly slams both of the names whenever they come up. This made my anxiety worse with all the negative comments over both of the names.

I do feel like I would want to change it but DD loves her name and doesn’t want any NN or other name. She is not aware of negative connotations but she may find out one day.

Is the name really that bad? What would you think if you hear it on a playground?

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PinkFishies · 13/12/2022 21:21

Lovely name OP! I’ve never heard of the medical term.

My name is Alexandra (used to hate it as a kid) and I get called allsorts by my friends, family and colleagues. Alex, Alexa, Al, Ally, Lex, Lexus (yes like the car)😂

I think as long as your DD likes her name that’s all that matters.

LisaLovedUp · 13/12/2022 21:21

I think you are over-thinking and over-reacting.

Alexia is not dyslexia.
Alexia is a highly specialised term used to describe a type of brain damage causing issues with words.

I think you'd find even dyslexia specialists never use the word because dyslexia is not caused by brain damage.

I don't know what you mean by reading it on mumsnet.

TheCurseOfBoris · 13/12/2022 21:21

I know a woman called that and I didn't think anything of it.

Buteverythingsfine · 13/12/2022 21:21

I have also never heard of this medical term, I have a daughter with dyslexia.

My daughter's name has been called all kinds on her in the past 48 hours! I just ignore it all as I know my dd loves her name.

Honestly, OP, somethings wrong if you are making this a big thing.

My other daughter has a nickname that sounds a bit rude, so she asked we don't say that in front of anyone, we use her full name.

She sounds a delightful confident girl and if she wants to change her name when older, she will.

you have to let this go right now, your thoughts are indeed obsessional and perhaps you need some help with that, I would get the books of Claire Weekes for starters on anxiety and obsession and then get to the drs to have a chat, you don't need to explain all about the names, just that you realise you are getting things out of proportion.

StillMedusa · 13/12/2022 21:22

I can almost guarantee that the only people who would remotely associate the name with a medical condition are specialist brain injury rehab medics!

There is a problem; but it's with your anxiety and obsession, not with your DD's name (which is very pretty and does not need any NN) Please look into getting some help ..CBT might be the way forward as it sounds like intrusive thoughts.

But for heaven's sake leave your daughter's name alone. Stop trying to change it,. Just stop!
This a you problem not a name problem!

Notanotherone6 · 13/12/2022 21:22

It's absolutely fine. Don't shorten it to Lexi, that's bloody awful.

Excusemegreentea · 13/12/2022 21:23

Alexia is beautiful - I wasn’t aware of the medical term either.

I would shorten it if necessary to Alex , not keen on Lexi at all - nothing like her beautiful full name.

Try to stop worrying , you’ve given her a beautiful lovely name, stop second guessing yourself , you’ve done a great job.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 13/12/2022 21:23

I would assume it’s a derivative of Alexandra, I think it’s a gorgeous name. Please stop calling her by other names. I get called by “nicknames” and find it both annoying and insulting. She’s happy with her name so don’t make an issue.
You do sound depressed, if you can afford therapy privately I would or if not I’d speak to your GP. We all get fixated on minor things when really it’s the bigger things getting to us.

OldFan · 13/12/2022 21:24

Apparently there's a singer called Alexia. It is also a name that exists, you didn't get that wrong.

It sounds fine to me @Leolala , your mum needs to STFU about it- tell her to stop it.

SouthwarkSwish · 13/12/2022 21:24

Gently OP, I think you have true OCD (fixating on something is part of the Obsessive). I think you do need help with your anxiety. I've been there and re go side the fixations Flowers

Whitewolf2 · 13/12/2022 21:24

Your daughter is 8 and likes her name, which is lovely by the way!
You are massively over thinking this and need to try to move on.

CinnamonSodaPop · 13/12/2022 21:26

Never heard of it as anything other than a name. I assume also that the name is pronounced differently, like uh-lek-sia with the emphasis on lek rather that Ay-lek-sia with the emphasis on the Ay?

hban · 13/12/2022 21:26

It’s a lovely name. I worked with a well respected professional with the same name and I’ve never thought anything of it. Can go by Lexi or Alex?

AllyCatTown · 13/12/2022 21:27

Don’t worry about what people on MN think. My son’s name generally gets positive responses here but in real life I can tell from introducing him that some people don’t like it or think it old fashioned. Now that I think about it I’ve never had a compliment on it. There are also some names that get positive reactions on mn that I really dislike and makes me question the point in asking. So please don’t take anything here too seriously or think it represents the wider world. Also in reality people don’t spend so much time dwelling on what people are called. They’re going to be concerned more about how they get on with them etc. If someone judges you or your daughter negatively based on just a name they’re not worth knowing.

Also please be careful about how you go on about your daughter’s name in front of her. She likes it so really it’s not holding her back. You could end up causing a problem where none exists. Get help for your issues. All the best.

Sarahcoggles · 13/12/2022 21:27

Please please don't go to your GP because you don't like your daughter's name. There is literally nothing the GP can do, and they are swamped at this time of year.
If you feel you want counselling, ring the surgery and ask for the number to call the counselling service.

Doobydoo · 13/12/2022 21:30

I know an Alexia who is 53....no particular comments though there are always those that say Alexa etc...most people say what an unusual/ lovely name. I can assure you their life has not been ruined!

LeaveIt · 13/12/2022 21:30

Never heard of Alexia as a medical term or a name. Love it as a name though.

Rachie1973 · 13/12/2022 21:31

AlwaysLatte · 13/12/2022 20:31

I would change her name by deed poll to Alexis and gradually call her either that or a diminutive: Lexi or Alex, and eventually the name Alexia will be removed from any sort of use.

Good grief. Don’t do this.

It’s her name and she likes it! It’s her identity!!

Algor1thm · 13/12/2022 21:34

AlwaysLatte · 13/12/2022 20:31

I would change her name by deed poll to Alexis and gradually call her either that or a diminutive: Lexi or Alex, and eventually the name Alexia will be removed from any sort of use.

She's 8 and likes her name, she can't just change it by deed poll to Alexis without her consent and then refuse to call her Alexia any more. That would be such a weird mind game!

You haven't ruined her life OP and there's nothing wrong with her name. But regardless it's way too late in the day. The name is hers now, not yours to make decisions about. I'm sure she'll end up Lex or Lexi as a teenager anyway.

Skiphopbump · 13/12/2022 21:34

One of my DDs has a friends called Alexia, nn Lexi. I have never thought of it as anything but a lovely name.

puddingandsun · 13/12/2022 21:34

The name is lovely, sounds nice and has a good meaning. It dates back enough to be called classic.

My dc had one in his class (5yo).

Please, please do not worry about it! She does have the option to use nn-s as suggested if one day she stops liking it. My dc's name gets negative comments on here too but that is only because it's compared to the trendiest, least common, etc, etc, etc.

porpy · 13/12/2022 21:35

Perfectly nice name and if she grows to dislike it, it has lots of natural nicknames- Alex, Lexi, Ally. So no reason to stress.

Hellybelly84 · 13/12/2022 21:35

I think its really lovely and not that unusual at all - theres much more unusual names in both my kids classes. As others have also said, if she doesn’t like it at any point in her life, easy to change to Alex/Lexi/Lexie etc.

SkylightSkylight · 13/12/2022 21:36

Leolala · 13/12/2022 21:19

Exactly that. See there is always someone who brings it up. Not sure why this time though

Show quote history

@Leolala

@SmartWatch 'brought it up' to show you she hadn't heard if it AND GOOGLE says it's a 'given name' before 'a condition'

you have read her post as confirming your thoughts, when it doesn't at all. I expect you're doing it with other ousts and magnifying the issue on MN.

I've been here years (practically since it started) and soend WAYYYYY too much time on here. I have never, ever heard anyone say anything about Alexia being part of dyslexia.

its a pretty name. You daughter loves her name, you really need to get help to get over this otherwise you're going to damage your daughter.

catandcoffee · 13/12/2022 21:36

Absolutely nothing wrong with her name.

If you carry on though you're going to give your daughter a very bad complex.