DH's names driving me to tears

[BFPDec21]

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

@Surelyitscoffeetime

Taliesin is one of my favourite names!

That's my cat's name 😻

@Kanaloa if someone honours their favourite fandom by calling their child John how would even know? I named my second son in honour of a favourite literary character of mine but as it's a very common name, so no one would ever guess that.

Always a massive red flag when men go on about making their sons strong. They usually bully them mercilessly and send them to boarding schools. He might be an artist, sensitive or gay and then his father be vile to him. Much like my son and my ex husband who bullied him and tried to get given into army type groups. We divorced him. DS told the judge he didn't want to see his father any more which was granted. He's now and artist as an adult.

If he wants to go down the 'inspired' route, get him to think about who his heroes actually are...

what are his passions and the things he loves...

Ds also changed his surname to my name when he was 18.

He seems to love me names with a Z in them. What about Zeus. Like the God.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@Kanaloa if someone honours their favourite fandom by calling their child John how would even know? I named my second son in honour of a favourite literary character of mine but as it's a very common name, so no one would ever guess that.[/quote]
That’s the point I was making? Obviously if you call your child William because you love Shakespeare or Anthony because you love the MCU that’s lovely and a nice connection for you. If you call them Titus Andronicus or Loki I’d think you were embarrassing or a bit pretentious.

I wasn’t talking about all people but a very specific sub section - usually grown out of by about 17 but sometimes persisting to adulthood.

If my DH had seriously suggested any of the names that OP's DH has come up with when our DDs were born I would have worried about his sanity. Fortunately, although we did have some debate, we are both fairly traditional in our taste in names and weren't really too far apart.

My DDs are grown up now, and happy with their names.

My youngest DD knew a boy with a rather "off the wall" name. Whenever he introduced himself to new people he would qualify his name by saying that his parents hated him when he was born. It made me feel so sorry for him as he was clearly embarrassed by his name.

Stand firm. Don't let DH do this to the child. He needs to stop being such an arse and come up with more reasonable name suggestions. Personally, I would struggle to take his current offerings seriously at all.

My cousin was given a very unusual name by his twat of a father. He always hated his name. He changed his name as soon as he was legally allowed to.

Even though it is (eventually) possible to change it, I imagine it must have quite a psychological impact on the person as, although it's a truly terrible name, all of your childhood is intertwined and associated with that name. You'd be really glad to leave the name behind, but it must feel like you're also casting off and losing a lot of your own life with it.

Not so much if you were given an ordinary name that you just found a bit dull and, after some thought, decided to change or amend it to something you liked better; but if you were given an absolute stinker of a name that dogged you through your childhood and left you feeling ashamed to have it, and you ended up counting the days until you could fling it away, it must leave you with quite a mental dichotomy.

I love this thread.

OP: I like traditional names like James or Issac

MN: what about Mephistopheles? Ulysses? Chakademus? Or something with an X?

@MrOllivander

People must live in different areas to me

Balthazar would get a WTF, and a shit load of bullying and how the fuck do you spell that then

People can't spell or pronounce my name and it's a very common female name with a masculine version. I get called the masculine version at least once a week, and it's spelled wrong most times (think Samantha/Samuel)

Do you live in a very white / British / working class area? I live in the latter, but not sure how much Balthazar would stand out amongst all the multicultural names

Hah! I question his sanity sometimes too.

He's actually a really lovely husband and father. He's just very indecisive and although laid back, can be stubborn when he wants to be. Unfortunately this is when he wanted to be stubborn!

He wanted DD to have a 'strong' name too which she does have. It's not just because it's a boy and actually he is often having discussions with DD about her boys and girls liking and wearing what they want. I definitely don't think he'll be that kind of bullish, high expectations kind of dad with our son.

I've managed to get him on Kinder, so far he's agreed with 5 of my names and says he doesn't hate them Among them are Jasper, Rupert and Luca. One I'm on the fence about but we've both swiped for is Henning...

@Kanaloa

There’s also the very obvious Marvel connection. Obviously I know the character of Loki in Norse mythology but my first thought nowadays is Marvel. Same as if someone called their child Sherlock (genuinely seen this as someone’s favourite name on nameberry) I wouldn’t presume they were a big fan of detective novels. I’d think they were a Benedict Cumberbatch super fan and a bit cringe to be honest. Same with Loki, Castiel etc. For me too linked to fandom. And weirdly these people never seem to want to honour their favourite fandoms with names like Steven, Samuel, Dean, William, John etc. Always the big name that will be obvious, in your face, and embarrassing.

It isn't that people don't name their kids after famous people with sensible names, it's just you mostly don't know. My friend has a Matilda after the book. We have a Castiel not "after" Cas in Supernatural but because we like the name I'm a Sam girl. Most people have no idea where we got the name from. I did suggest Crowley 😂😂

Jasper, Rupert and Luca
All lovely. I like Lucien together. I wimped put of Balthazar for ours, i also wanted Thaddeus

@BFPDec21

Hah! I question his sanity sometimes too.

He's actually a really lovely husband and father. He's just very indecisive and although laid back, can be stubborn when he wants to be. Unfortunately this is when he wanted to be stubborn!

He wanted DD to have a 'strong' name too which she does have. It's not just because it's a boy and actually he is often having discussions with DD about her boys and girls liking and wearing what they want. I definitely don't think he'll be that kind of bullish, high expectations kind of dad with our son.

I've managed to get him on Kinder, so far he's agreed with 5 of my names and says he doesn't hate them Among them are Jasper, Rupert and Luca. One I'm on the fence about but we've both swiped for is Henning...

Mine I is definitely not sane.

He STILL wanted Apollo as a middle name (on top of unusual first name) 2 days after DS was born.

Didn't happen.

Good to see you are starting to find some common ground. You will get there. You only need ONE name and then it will crystalise as the right one.

I remember thinking how the heck do I talk DH down from some of his bloody crazy suggestions though.

Apollo is a great name.

Apolline is very popular in France.

They're all great names, OP. Now go crazy with the middle name!

My husband wanted to call our first DS after his favourite footballer. Not a name I liked at all. I spent my whole pregnancy telling everyone there was no way we were calling baby that!! When he was born I got very hormonal and relented! I can't imagine him as anything else and he really owns the name now.

Yes had arguments with my partner over our baby girls name. He doesn't like any of the ones I like and insists I have made them up (Isla, Avie, Nola) but then hasn't given any he likes. 22 weeks now and still no closer to name!

How much is he bothered about it. Is he very much wanting a say or worse wanting only his options? I know a few friends where husband was happy for them to pick 😮

I'm not sure how far on you are but honestly don't think it will suddenly get better when ur child is born. We actually had about 3/4 names we liked so I thought we wld pick one of those when she was born. Thought once she is here is wld be easier. However she didn't have a name for over a week. I just wanted the name that I wanted and I decided I wldnt back down 🙈 think along the lines of he wanted Anne and I wanted Anna. His more traditional mine was more modern twist. We had a few other names too but I started going off them. So in the end he was so embarrassed that we didn't have a name that he gave in 😂 result!

@hidinginthegarden

My husband wanted to call our first DS after his favourite footballer. Not a name I liked at all. I spent my whole pregnancy telling everyone there was no way we were calling baby that!! When he was born I got very hormonal and relented! I can't imagine him as anything else and he really owns the name now.

Glad to hear he grew into Maradonna

It’s not just being stubborn though op, it’s being really self centred and uncaring towards you. At what point in his ‘this matters to me’ does he think hang on my pregnant wife shouldn’t be unhappy with the name chosen for the child’s she’s carrying? This hasn’t happened so far…

My husband wanted to call our first DS after his favourite footballer.

Are we talking first name or surname? There seems to be quite a trend for giving sons names that not even the idolised footballers/sportsmen themselves have as a first name. Unless it's Zinedine Zidane or Neville Neville, I suppose, where they're exactly the same/very similar anyway!

If you really have your heart set on your DS sharing the same name as your favourite footballer, call him 'Matthew' for goodness' sake, and not 'Le Tissier' as a first name!

@CasZekey

I did mention that in my post. I wasn’t saying all people don’t use ‘normal’ names from their favourite xyz, I was saying a certain group don’t. Obviously if someone names their child Dean because they love Supernatural I’ll never know because it’s just a nice name that happens to be from a tv show. If they (as you have) choose Castiel it’s almost certainly because they’re big fans of the show. I wouldn’t choose it for that reasons. Same with loving Narnia - I’d use Lucy or Edmund but not Aslan or Caspian as I think they’re too obviously linked.