DH's names driving me to tears

[BFPDec21]

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

I like Balthazar. Like Gabriel too. There's probably a midpoint between the two.

What name did you agree on for DD?

It’s funny, before having children I always imagined that the name choosing process would be lovely. Sitting down with my partner, having a laugh, lists of favourites and running the sounds over with the surname.

But no, it was nothing like that. Anything I suggested he had some bad connotation with the name. He had been to school with some awful nose-picker with that name etc. There was never a list of joint favourites because there were no names that we both liked!

Eventually I had a bad birth (near death experience) and he said that I could just choose after what I had been through.

Ok it’s a girls name but I had a student once called Demelza who hated her name. Her Mum had been a fan of the first Poldark series back in the 1970’s.

@ClaudiaWankleman

I often think of "Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair" when I look at the state of my house

I don't think I've ever connected so much with a post on MN @MakingMemoriesIsShite

@ClaudiaWankleman

@Thesefeetaremadeforwalking

My dad was a Classics scholar and wanted to register my brother as Vespasian. My mother said if he did she'd walk out.

So he was called John.......

I have a classical name but it isn't too bad.....

I quite like Vespasian - or at least, I'd a lot sooner be called that than flipping Ozymandias.

I do feel like OP's partner obviously is a little sore about having a "boring" name and wants something more exciting for his kid. He obviously hasn't realised that if you call a child something that sticks out a lot, he'll more likely become a right quiet little thing in response like the partner obviously has not.

Little Ozymandias isn't going to want his name called in class for ANYTHING, even good things.

Little Ozymandias isn't going to want his name called in class for ANYTHING, even good things.

It would hardly stand out against Abayomi, Ikramullah and Dobroslav.

I can see both points of view - although you're doing the birth bit, would you really be happy going forward knowing your dh fundamentally disliked your child's name?

My kids all have names that would make most posters on the naming board clutch their pearls, reach for the smelling salts and then call social services on me. They love them and have never been teased. FYI, children will pick on anything. Okay, calling a boy Hugh when your surname is Janus may be asking for it a little but... Dd has ten boys called Ben in her year - that's a tenth of the boys, all with the same bloody name. Must be a nightmare for them.

Maybe look at the ONS name lists from the past few years and pick something from the mid league - maybe 20 other babies called it that year - not common and not completely out there. Each make a list, stick it on the fridge and agree to both look at the two lists each day when you get the milk. Eventually you'll both find something 'speaks' to you more than the others.

Can you imagine?

“What’s your name?”
“My name is Ozymandias”
“King of kings?”

Every day. For the rest of your life. And everyone would think it was so clever and original as well….. Just no!

@RosesAndHellebores

These are unusual but usable:

Merlin
Gawain
Lancelot
Horatio
Gulliver
Florian
Osric
Archibald

I quite like Balthasar. It is one of the names of the three wise men. The others were Caspar and Melchior. Our ds was born on Christmas Day and has one if these for his third name.

Usable where??

OP buy one of those baby name books, then each go through the whole thing from A - Z and write down all the names you find acceptable.

I love the pasting that my DS's names are getting here, btw. Just as well I didn't mention Sacheverell.

I think whether the names are “unusual” or “normal” is a bit of a red herring. I can’t imagine that children would be bullied for their names. However what is important is that the OP doesn’t like the names.

An unusual name doesn’t make someone special in their own right. Only they can do that.

Usable where??

Anywhere. Well - maybe not predominantly white new build housing estates in the Midlands where anything that is not Ellie or Jack is suspicious.

I love the pasting that my DS's names are getting here, btw

Everybody's DC names get a pasting on MN at some point - my choices are very classic so regularly get called 'boring' on other threads!

@SatinHeart in the UK, as long as you dont live in Royston Vasey or in the 1950s. I know children with 4 of those names.

@Porcupineintherough

Me too - I know a Merlin, Archie, Gulliver. They're hardly out there.

Can I suggest Sylvester as being very cool, never used, and perhaps outre enough for your DH?

Also Isidore might do for him and you (and Iz is a cool short form which would not cause problems at school)

@CruCru absolutely, its important that the OP and her husband both love. However the intolerance on this thread for anything foreign, or a bit different and the glee with which its announced that a child with such a name will face a life of endless misery is profoundly fucking depressing (it's also bollocks, although it's easy to see which parents would encourage a bit of bullying to keep the status quo).

My husband kept recommending Vladimir and Dragomir. Nothing wrong with the names, I know they are common in some countries but not for me. Sorry you're going through this but it did make me chuckle because I too was feeling quite violent towards him at the end of my pregnancy when he kept suggesting them

@Squiff70

I feel your pain. We're also expecting a little boy. DP's best name suggestions are Zero and Ragnar. I told him categorically its not happening.

I'm not sure if it's better or worse but he came up with a nice, 'normal' name which I quite like. I did say I like the name but want to have one or two others in mind and see which baby suits best once he's born. On several occasions since then, DP has called our baby this name suggestion. That might not end up bring his name so why is he referring to him as that name?

It's all such a pain in the arse.

ZERO???

S'truth.

“What’s your name?”
“My name is Ozymandias”
“King of kings?”

Every day. For the rest of your life.

Could be a bit embarrassing if you're down your local Cash Converters, where it's more a case of "Look upon my iPad 2, ye assistant and.... advance me £30, pleeeease."

Our name arguments went on for so long we nearly did call him ozymandias 😂 there's only so many times you can look at every boys name ever without going spare. What about something like Marcus or Theodore is a nice Greek name too. Maybe go through classical literature and find something? We also picked a nickname we both liked and then went for longer names from there.

@TatianaBis

Little Ozymandias isn't going to want his name called in class for ANYTHING, even good things.

It would hardly stand out against Abayomi, Ikramullah and Dobroslav.

I think it might you know because those names sound like normal names from other cultures (even if they aren't common names, few will know). Whereas Ozymandias is from a flipping poem and one about a cruel statue at that. Might as well call him La Belle Dame Sans Merci or Don Juan.

@WimpoleHat

Can you imagine?

“What’s your name?”
“My name is Ozymandias”
“King of kings?”

Every day. For the rest of your life. And everyone would think it was so clever and original as well….. Just no!

Yes, the propensity of people to think comments are clever/the first time the recipient has ever heard them - OR to ask fatuous questions - is massive.

A close friend has a surname that can be a female first name. It's almost a given that when she says her surname (and she always says "surname" before she announces it), the person concerned will ask "Are you sure?"

I did once work with a Dorian and a Darius and honestly they were fine, especially Darius maybe that would please your husband.

Everybody's DC names get a pasting on MN at some point - my choices are very classic so regularly get called 'boring' on other threads!

This is true - our DS's name is often criticised on here, but a lot of people also suggest it as a(in their opinion) good option.

I suppose it's just that, if baby names were a big tub of Celebrations that you were offering around to 'society', some people would definitely favour the Twix over the Mars, some would grab the Milky Way and leave the Malteser thing resolutely behind; but calling your DC Ozymandias or Vercingetorix is the equivalent of presenting a big jumbo Christmas-special tin with nothing but Bounties in it.