Pretentious?

[SummaLuvin]

I see a number of names being knocked or dismissed here as certain posters deem them pretentious. Names like Aloysius, Lysander, Montgomery, Peregrine…

I guess this post has four questions/discussion points.

1. What makes a name pretentious?
2. Why does pretentious = unusable?
3. Surely by marking these names as off limits to ‘normal’ people they keep they air of pretension indefinitely, wider use will water down the preconceived notions about them?
4. I see a significantly larger amount of boys names labelled this way than girls, I wonder why that is?

Not sure what my point is other than there seems to be a large portion of the general population that still resent and judge wealthy families with pretentious names.

Resent wealthy families with pretentious names? Wow!

I wonder whether they are just jealous? I mean what is there to resent about them otherwise?

@ViceLikeBlip

I was just coming here to say please don't call your child" Pretentious" 🤣🤣

Ps basically, any names that have traditionally been used by the aristocracy are seen as pretentious. But it takes hardly any time for opinions to change. 10 years ago Sebastian, Rupert, Augustus (Gus), Aurelia, Ophelia, Miranda were seen as very pretentious, but they're pretty common across the board now.

Tbf I've heard weirder names suggested

The really, really posh (titled families going back several centuries) I know or know of, nearly always have very ordinary names - Andrew, Peter, John etc (although they tend to have several middle names). The next rung down (often in my experience, with a blend of posh and trade) seem to have the most pretentious names - the Lysanders and Herewakes and then have to live in dread that Disney will use it for a character in a film that comes out a year or so later.

The next rung down (often in my experience, with a blend of posh and trade)

G-g-grandfather Horace made a killing in fancy goods in the 1850s and now his descendants live in luxury but their nouveau roots mean they're still a little overly ostentatious.

@Classica

The next rung down (often in my experience, with a blend of posh and trade)

G-g-grandfather Horace made a killing in fancy goods in the 1850s and now his descendants live in luxury but their nouveau roots mean they're still a little overly ostentatious.

Yep - I think that's absolutely the case, and a bit insecure about their place in the world...

Easy to forget that people who would be regarded as 'posh' by 95% of the pop. might be seen as anything but by the other 5%!

@Classica

Easy to forget that people who would be regarded as 'posh' by 95% of the pop. might be seen as anything but by the other 5%!

Again, so true. Most people meeting me would probably think of me as posh (voice, education etc) but the really, proper posh know instantly that I'm not, even for the record though I've got a bog standard name...

@toastofthetown

The problem I have with the idea that girls have a wide range of names because boys need serious names is that many boys names which are popular are not really ‘serious’ names. Archie, Charlie, Freddie, Alfie, Tommy, Teddy, Albie and Reggie are all in the top fifty for boys at the moment and other popular (top 100) names are names like Arlo, Jack, Finley, Jaxon, Grayson, Riley, Hudson all of which to me seem like more friendly, informal names to me. Not saying these are bad names, just that I don’t think the general trend at the moment is for formality and seriousness in boys names. They are certainly no less suited to a ‘serious career’ than Lysander, Aloysius, Octavian and Horatio in my opinion.

That's a very current trend in a long history of naming and of class obsession though

Most people meeting me would probably think of me as posh (voice, education etc) but the really, proper posh know instantly that I'm not,

Could you please define 'proper posh'?

Ancestors who were Charles II’s bit on the side and given titles and estates???

I actually had a delivery from someone named Horatio today! He didn’t seem posh.

I find this subject fascinating. Victoria was a 'posh' name and now is anything but with Vicky Pollard.
Imo what makes a name pretentious is when a name is chosen to represent a parent's social class rather than a name that is liked for its own sake. E.g. I know a child named Alexander. if he is called Alex, his parents hop up and down in irritation and have written reminders to the child's teachers that he must be called Alexander. It is ridiculous to name a child Alexander when they so vehemently dislike the name Alex.

The family are not posh but the main earner has a high salary and they would like to be posh. Imo that is what makes names pretentious.

The proper posh may generally give their kids classic names but they also have a tendency to hang on childhood nicknames - Tiffy, Totty, Binkie, Spenny, Wiggy etc - into dotage (and wanting others to call them that too). Hope that helps Alex’s parents come to terms with their impossible task…

Imo what makes a name pretentious is when a name is chosen to represent a parent's social class rather than a name that is liked for its own sake

But how would you know how much parents really like a name?

A parent may love Horatio, Sebastian or Magnus, regardless of their salary or 'social class' (whatever that means )

@Blubells

Imo what makes a name pretentious is when a name is chosen to represent a parent's social class rather than a name that is liked for its own sake

But how would you know how much parents really like a name?

A parent may love Horatio, Sebastian or Magnus, regardless of their salary or 'social class' (whatever that means )

I know the parents quite well. They liked the name Sam but didn’t think it sounded posh enough 🤣

They both grew up in a nice part of town but in ordinary houses. They were comfortably off. They now live in a very nice area due to inheritance) and have gone up a couple of steps on the social ladder. They are very determined to be perceived in the way they want to be perceived.

I didn’t think Magnus was posh tbh simply underused? Sebastian screams private school to me. I’m pretty sure it was on their list.

I know the parents quite well. They liked the name Sam but didn’t think it sounded posh enough

Even if that were true, I think it's wrong to assume that most parents choose names on that basis.

It actually upsets me a little to think that some people are so judgemental and make assumptions about parents' choice of names.

Blubells

But of course they do. I did it myself. I liked the name Sophie from when I was a little girl. When I was naming my own child all I could think of Sally Webster from Coronation St screeching ‘Sofay’ and I steered well away from it. Maybe that’s more association.

A better example might be Ruby. It’s a nice name but….
On the other extreme i liked Charlotte but it is quite a posh name and too posh for our area.
People choose names on this basis all the time….

I know a child named Alexander. if he is called Alex, his parents hop up and down in irritation and have written reminders to the child's teachers that he must be called Alexander.

Poor little Alex. I cringe at parents who try to control their child's name in this way. Once you've given your kid a name it belongs to them, and if he has no problem being called Alex that should be the end of it and they should stop making spectacles of themselves. Imagine how embarrassing it'll be for him if they're still acting that way when he's 14.

On the other extreme i liked Charlotte but it is quite a posh name and too posh for our area

I find that hard to understand.

I honestly think that most parents choose names they love rather than specifically pick names to 'appear' a certain way Well we did anyway.

And why shouldn't you get to use a name you love (Charlotte)? This only reinforces the ridiculous idea of 'class'.

@Blubells

On the other extreme i liked Charlotte but it is quite a posh name and too posh for our area

I find that hard to understand.

I honestly think that most parents choose names they love rather than specifically pick names to 'appear' a certain way Well we did anyway.

And why shouldn't you get to use a name you love (Charlotte)? This only reinforces the ridiculous idea of 'class'.

Because names like Archibald and Percy and Cressida sound ridiculous with my rural background. You mightn’t like that idea but it is true. The child would also be surrounded by a sea of Toms, Johns and Ava’s!

Because names like Archibald and Percy and Cressida sound ridiculous with my rural background. You mightn’t like that idea but it is true. The child would also be surrounded by a sea of Toms, Johns and Ava’s!

I still don't really understand.

Why would Charlotte, Archie, Percy or Cressida sound ridiculous?

And so what if their friends were called Tom, John or Ava?

Sorry but I honestly don't see any problem whatsoever.

Could you please define 'proper posh'?

Old money, inherited land, accommodation, furniture. Clothes from Oxfam, eats packed lunches to save money. Has no need to flaunt their wealth.

What’s wrong with Magnus? Quite popular where I grew up in the 80s. Traditional European name. I like Merlin too. And Alice? Every third girl born in the 90s were Alice weren’t they? Maybe I like pretentious names. (Perhaps because I grew up with a name that every third girl had because my dad though anything else would be too showy!). My kids have very usual names and like them. But I’m probably pretentious.

@Blubells

Because names like Archibald and Percy and Cressida sound ridiculous with my rural background. You mightn’t like that idea but it is true. The child would also be surrounded by a sea of Toms, Johns and Ava’s!

I still don't really understand.

Why would Charlotte, Archie, Percy or Cressida sound ridiculous?

And so what if their friends were called Tom, John or Ava?

Sorry but I honestly don't see any problem whatsoever.

Unless you have not spent any time residing in the UK (and, really, class and social status are not just British issues), you have a very narrow experience of the world, you are not observant or you do not think much beyond your own little sphere. Being blind to an issue makes you a part of it, not above it.

@SeanChailleach

Could you please define 'proper posh'?

Old money, inherited land, accommodation, furniture. Clothes from Oxfam, eats packed lunches to save money. Has no need to flaunt their wealth.

This is a good description. There does seem to be an element of lineage, an element of long-standing wealth.

Perhaps, also, of political standing? E.g. a successful Tudor merchant vs Tudor nobility and access to the Court. The former is rich, the latter is posh?