My sister kind of stole my baby name :(

[Captainchaos8]

I told my sister a few months back that I really liked the name Judah for a boy. We were both expecting boys but she was dead set on calling her baby boy River so I thought I was on safe ground telling her my choice. Anyway she just came out of hospital and announced out tof the blu that her baby was to be Jude. I am completely gobsmacked and quite upset to be honest but I'm not prepared to cause a massive fuss and a fall out over a name. Anyway just wanted some advice, would you still call your baby Judah if your sister had named their baby Jude? Or do you all think I should just bow out graciously and go with my second choice which is Josiah or my hubby's first choice which is Theodore/Theo/Teddy?

Why are people encouraged op to mock her nephew?

The sister is an arsehole but the baby is innocent.

@Skeumorph

'Hi Sis congratulations! God I feel a bit weird though - PLEASE tell me you genuinely love Jude and you didn't just get the idea from our fake name? We only said Judah so that we could keep our real choices secret! So don't worry that there might be two 'Judes' around. I'll be singing Hey Jude all day now haha! It's a nice name though so all good I hope? Lots of love x'

So lying and taunting is the way to go? Seriously? I get the impression that OP is a decent person who wouldn't dream of coming out with such dishonest bollocks.

Her Sis won't believe a word of it anyway. Do people actually come out with this sort of stuff?

@Bushkin

Theodore is a much nicer name.

I agree. Its a classic timeless name with useful, graceful abbreviations depending on age and lifestage.

Jude/Judah/ River, are trendy celeb names that will soon go out of fashion like Elvis/Leaf/Boris and date horribly. Your boy had a lucky escape :-)

I actually think that Theo will date much more than Jude or Josiah.

Op, I really like Josiah nickname Jos.

I just don't get the whole name stealing problem. My kids have the same names as their cousins (named after same grandparents). Nobody minds.

@LuciesLawyer

Some people do mind though? It's not too hard to understand.

Once you've created an identity for your child, when it's been all your hopes and dreams, and you've been happy enough to share it with the world it can feel like identity theft when someone uses that name.

Then if you choose to use that name afterwards it feels like you're naming your child after the other one, rather than giving them their own identity.

They have to share this identity which meant so much to you, and not nearly as much to the other parents.

It feels like a personal attack, like oneupmanship. Cos it is basically a power play. It's fucking shitty.

So then yeah you can pick a new name, but it feels like you've already had something stolen from you that couldn't possibly bear any repercussions because it's not a physical thing that has been taken.

Hth

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

if you haven't brought it up yet then wait until she does. then tell her that suggesting Judah was a diversion tactic because you didn't want to tell anyone the ACTUAL name you picked.

mwahaha

Totally do this. Genius idea.

That was a really mean thing to do - but as everyone has said already, your other choices are nicer anyway. Enjoy your baby boy!

Personally i like the name you chose best and i think you should stick with it.
The name was your babys name first and it should stay that way

I’m on your husbands side - I love Theodore nn Teddy! Would have been on my boys shortlist for sure if I’d had one (I have all the girls….). Josiah is nice too though.

We waited till the babies were born to finalise a name for them. You might find he is born and realise one of your top names just does not suit him, or that though you like it it turns out you wouldn’t use it. Or maybe one that was on your longer list particular does suit him. Or you might suddenly not like any of the names you had picked out…..

No one owns a name for sure but they are similar sounding. I actually think your other options are much nicer and Judah reminds me more of Judas anyway 🙂

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad name and make it better."

Go with Josiah.

Don't especially like Judah but yes I'd use the same name.

There are many many cultures the world over where cousins all have the same names, I mean, George Foreman called all his kids George! And presumably you're not living with her so it won't matter anyway.

However - if it's upset you enough that you don't want to use it now, Theo is nice. Don't like Josiah much tbh.

Yes you can still use Judah in my opinion - but I wouldn't personally. I agree with others that your sister has done you a favour. I don't like Judah at all, but both your second choice names are lovely.

Also, I hope you do realise that this is an act of jealousy. Your sister must be insanely jealous of you to have done this, and very sad with her own life and choices. Try, if you can, to pity her and get on with living your own fabulous life! And please rest assured that families are often difficult and many posters I am sure will have similar toxic family relationships themselves. Take the best of her - and keep the rest at arm's length.

I don't suppose it's possible that either your sister forgot the conversation, or just thought Judah was a name you theoretically liked amongst many others, rather than being set on it?

Personally, I wouldn't use Judah if my sister used Jude, although I think you can (my cousin has the same name as me. It's not a big deal, we haven't met in 20 years).

I much prefer josiah. I think your sister may have done you a favour despite efforts to the contrary.