My sister kind of stole my baby name :(

[Captainchaos8]

I told my sister a few months back that I really liked the name Judah for a boy. We were both expecting boys but she was dead set on calling her baby boy River so I thought I was on safe ground telling her my choice. Anyway she just came out of hospital and announced out tof the blu that her baby was to be Jude. I am completely gobsmacked and quite upset to be honest but I'm not prepared to cause a massive fuss and a fall out over a name. Anyway just wanted some advice, would you still call your baby Judah if your sister had named their baby Jude? Or do you all think I should just bow out graciously and go with my second choice which is Josiah or my hubby's first choice which is Theodore/Theo/Teddy?

Theodore is lovely (tbh i didn't really like your first choice, but it was your choice so i get you're upset)

You can now bask in the knowledge that when your baby is born everyone will be cooing over yours and "ignoring" hers which may wind her right up (yes, I am petty enough that i would enjoy that)

Your husbands choice is a much nicer name than Judah. Next time don’t tell anyone your name choices.

I've never heard Josiah, that's a gorgeous name. Sister is a knob for sure, wait till she mentions the name and just act confused like it's not bothered you. And dont tell her stuff next time!!

She’s done you a favour thay wasn’t a great name, and Josiah is likely to be turned to Josie as a pp said,

Theodore /teddy is a great name.

No advice on names, but your sister did a truly horrible thing.

I way prefer your other two options, I would go with Josiah and there’s 4 Theodore’ son my sons year!

Judah sounds too similar to Judas IMO! Love Josiah

Josiah is lovely, personally I think the Theo route is so popular now it'll become one of those names that tons of children will have come school age, I still think it's a nice name but depends on what kind of name you'd like.

also yy to pp's suggestion to look at Jacob's other son's names.

I’d pick Josiah, I work in a school and there are lots of Jude’s and Theo’s starting to come through school.

As you have other choices you like, in a way she's played straight into your hands. If she mentions that Judah was your favourite name, you can just produce the tinkly laugh and say "You didn't really believe that, did you? Of course we kept our favourites quiet".

As other posters have said, be completely nonchalant about your sister’s name choice. When your baby arrives call him a different name. If she questions it say it was the name you planned all along.

I’m sorry this has happened to you...the names Josiah and Theodore are lovely.

I also thought of Jonah instead.

I prefer Theodore to Josiah but prefer Judah to both!

If you still love it then use it.

Yes you absolutely have to tinkly laugh your way out of this OP

I have a sister like this and it’s the only way
(She did actually use my favourite girls name for her daughter)

I remember being a bit 🙄

Do you like River? Go with that and tell her you only went with Judah because she had taken your favourite name

Just call the baby Judah. It's not the same name but even if it were it wouldn't matter. Two first cousins having the same name is a very normal thing.

I would just stick with Judah to annoy her. But I'm shitty that way

Josiah is likely to get Josie as a nickname

Far more likely to be Joe.

She’s a dick but she did you a favour - Jude/Judah are not nice names.
Josiah on the other hand is lovely (also Elijah, Isiah, Jacob, Isaac)
Theo is nice (not Teddy ) but really very popular at the moment so I would avoid that.

I prefer Josiah to Judah. The dim is Joe not Josie which is dim for Josephine.

Theodore is a bore as there are so many of them.

@LittlePearl

I'd stick with Judah if it is your absolute favourite, though the alternatives you mention are nice names. And if your sister has assumed you'd bottle and go for something else you shouldn't give her the satisfaction!

Some members of our extended family have duplicate names all over the place and no one seems bothered.

I completely agree.

@Captainchaos8

Thanks girls, it does make me feel a little better that nearly everyone I speak to prefers our alternatives anyways. As for my sister, she's a bit of a narcissist so if I let her know it's bothered me she will totally feed off that. She's always playing the ' I can do better game' and to be honest I can't be bothered with it anymore. My whole family is pretty toxic and I've had to walk away from them all to preserve my sanity. I'll just let her have the name (not that I have much choice) I have a lovely family and I really should just focus on that. It's not really the name so much but the spiteful intent behind it that hurts. 😭 Thanks for replying, at least I know my feelings are valid, she often gaslight me into thinking I'm oversensitive so I question my own thoughts sometimes!!

OP, you sound amazingly strong and emotionally articulate and I just wanted to post to say how lovely I think you sound!! You’ve been able to recognise your sister’s motivations, and your family’s issues, and have decided against getting drawn into that bullshit. That doesn’t stop what she’s done being incredibly hurtful (your feelings are 100% valid!), but at least you are hopefully able to protect yourself from further damage. I’m unfortunately from a similarly toxic family and it’s taken a great deal of expensive therapy to reach where you are. So definitely rejoice in your own lovely family, and your distinctly better name choices, and leave your sister in her bitter and hateful little world - you refusing to acknowledge her name choice and its impact on you will cause her enormous frustration, so enjoy knowing she’s fuming away while you’re just enjoying your life!! I wish you and your DC the very best

Don’t use Judah it will be changed to Judas in no time

She's done you a favour. Theodore is much nicer

@DifficultBloodyWoman

you don't like the Beatles?
run fast, run far🤣🤣🤣

And the end of the song there's a repetition of "Hey Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude" and that's near impossible to say or sing without the name sounding as "Judy, Judy..."
so I see how that in itself might give the wrong impression.

*at the end