My sister kind of stole my baby name :(

[Captainchaos8]

I told my sister a few months back that I really liked the name Judah for a boy. We were both expecting boys but she was dead set on calling her baby boy River so I thought I was on safe ground telling her my choice. Anyway she just came out of hospital and announced out tof the blu that her baby was to be Jude. I am completely gobsmacked and quite upset to be honest but I'm not prepared to cause a massive fuss and a fall out over a name. Anyway just wanted some advice, would you still call your baby Judah if your sister had named their baby Jude? Or do you all think I should just bow out graciously and go with my second choice which is Josiah or my hubby's first choice which is Theodore/Theo/Teddy?

I think I'd move away from any name starting with J because J bet someone would randomly comment about the little cousins J & J. eek

(I have one called Joshua, one with the middle name Jacob and I had considered Jonah, Josiah, Jethro, Joel and Jeremiah several times - so no love lost for J names here!)

I am a grandmother - 2 of my 7 grandsons have the same name. No-one cares about it - it is just fine.

@Mischance

I am a grandmother - 2 of my 7 grandsons have the same name. No-one cares about it - it is just fine.

she cares about it. why be insensitive?

Thanks girls, it does make me feel a little better that nearly everyone I speak to prefers our alternatives anyways. As for my sister, she's a bit of a narcissist so if I let her know it's bothered me she will totally feed off that. She's always playing the ' I can do better game' and to be honest I can't be bothered with it anymore. My whole family is pretty toxic and I've had to walk away from them all to preserve my sanity. I'll just let her have the name (not that I have much choice) I have a lovely family and I really should just focus on that. It's not really the name so much but the spiteful intent behind it that hurts. 😭 Thanks for replying, at least I know my feelings are valid, she often gaslight me into thinking I'm oversensitive so I question my own thoughts sometimes!!

Josiah is such a great name, id have picked that over Judah anyway

if you haven't brought it up yet then wait until she does.
then tell her that suggesting Judah was a diversion tactic because you didn't want to tell anyone the ACTUAL name you picked.

mwahaha

You've dodged a bullet. Teddy is waaaay nicer.

My SIL did the same thing. I told her a name I loved if we ever manage a second baby, she had a different name already chosen. She used the one I told her. She's an asshole. Always has been, always will be.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

if you haven't brought it up yet then wait until she does. then tell her that suggesting Judah was a diversion tactic because you didn't want to tell anyone the ACTUAL name you picked.

mwahaha

Oh please do this! Her face will be a picture!

What @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba. Said is brilliant . Or just say in reflection you went right off your original choice in the end . And you are much happier with your final choice . You are so glad you did not rush into a stupid name decision.

She is a bitch . Hit her with all barrrels .

Love teddy! 😁

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba that's kind of what I did!, SIL said to me oh you always liked baby's name but I got there first..in front of the entire family, so I said well it was on the list but we didn't like it enough to use it. She was not impressed

Good taste for the runners up op (my ds' are Josiah and Theo)

It's out of order of her, but Judah reminds me of Judas which is commonly used as an insult, Josiah or Theodore are lovely.

Your sister was very unreasonable but I like your alternative choices more anyway so I’d just use one of those.

Just think of how sad she must be to give her child a name she only wanted so she could piss you off.

YANBU. I’d do the same as Queenofsheeba says and be like “oh it’s so funny that you liked the name we told everyone to throw them off and actually used it! Hahahahaha”

In the future you can always tell your nephew that you names him

*named

If she mentions it look confused and then say "Oh that! Yeah that was our red herring name as people always ask what name you've chosen and we want to keep it secret until the baby is born, but you know what people are like hahaha!!"

Totally laugh it off as a matter of absolutely no consequence. If you want to take the wind out of a narcissists sails the best way to do it is to act as if you couldnt give two hoots about what they have done to try and provoke you.

Oh and FWIW I really like Theodore and wanted to call DD that if she'd been a boy.

Please call your baby Josiah - it's beautiful.

In the West Wing, President Bartlett was Josiah. Jeb, for short.

@Captainchaos8

Thanks girls, it does make me feel a little better that nearly everyone I speak to prefers our alternatives anyways. As for my sister, she's a bit of a narcissist so if I let her know it's bothered me she will totally feed off that. She's always playing the ' I can do better game' and to be honest I can't be bothered with it anymore. My whole family is pretty toxic and I've had to walk away from them all to preserve my sanity. I'll just let her have the name (not that I have much choice) I have a lovely family and I really should just focus on that. It's not really the name so much but the spiteful intent behind it that hurts. 😭 Thanks for replying, at least I know my feelings are valid, she often gaslight me into thinking I'm oversensitive so I question my own thoughts sometimes!!

I know how you feel. I lost my first child very early after birth. His name was Elijah. My sister had a son last month and called him Elijah because well my Elijah is dead and she always loved the name and why shouldn't she use it.

She is the last family member of mine that I've basically gone NC With.

Theodore is a lovely strong name. Congrats on the pregnancy

She has inadvertently done you a massive favour, Josiah Theodore, lovely name, I really really dislike Jude, all it conjures up when I hear it is Paul McCartney’s whiny voice (sorry PM fans).

Omg I'm loving the previous poster replies!

Definitely laugh and be like "I find Judas awful I just said it as diversion. Josiah Theodore was always my top pick!"

In future just don’t tell her this stuff or say my fave name is Ben or something lol! But have a look at Judah’s family some amazing names!! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judah_(son_of_Jacob)