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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

My friend hates my baby name

249 replies

Reagan37 · 23/10/2021 15:44

Me and OH have agreed on a name for our daughter that we both love. I told one of my friends our choice and she said it’s ridiculous for me to pick a “plain boys name” for a girl. We aren’t changing our minds, and we are very set on this name for our baby. I just hope if people don’t like the name and are rude about it when she’s here, it will grow on them the more they think about it. Should I be worried?

OP posts:
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diddl · 23/10/2021 16:47

I think it's awful.

If your daughter likes it though, then that's all that matters.

toastmilkraisins · 23/10/2021 16:48

OP I think it’s a lovely name

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 23/10/2021 16:49

For me, it’s an old-fashioned male name, as I have Welsh family, and I think many people in the UK will think the same because of Gavin and Stacey’s enormous popularity. Hopefully, people will keep their opinions to themselves if they do think it’s inappropriate, but they might be thinking it. If you aren’t going to rethink no matter what anyone says, then why would you be worried about it?

But the issue here is more the OP’s friend’s rudeness in voicing an opinion on her choice - unless of course she was asked what she thought. If you did ask her, OP, you must have hoped she’d tell the truth rather than just flatter you? Or is she usually rude to people and willing to hurt them? If the latter I’d reconsider how good a friend she is.

Dmsandfloatydress · 23/10/2021 16:49

Bryn is a welsh boys name and it means hill. Do you live in Wales?

Magissa · 23/10/2021 16:51

A girl in the school I worked in was called Brianna but preferred to be called Brynn. Sounds fine to me 🙂

Smartiepants79 · 23/10/2021 16:51

Uncle Bryn? As in Gavin and Stacey. Its Welsh and I’ve only ever heard it used for men.
BUT it’s not an ugly name so not awful.
Does feel a bit like naming your daughter Brian.

Phphion · 23/10/2021 16:51

For me, Bryn is a somewhat dated Welsh boys name. So it sounds strange to me in the same way that someone calling their DD Ian would sound strange to me.

Some people will share the same cultural reference point as me and find the name strange, many other people won't.

Smartiepants79 · 23/10/2021 16:52

Brianna is lovely.

Snugglemuffin · 23/10/2021 16:53

I know a male Bryn so assumed it was usually a male name. Bit it's nice enough. Not sure why anyone would hate it. Quite inoffensive tbh.

I know a female Bran (sp?), which I like.

Onthedunes · 23/10/2021 16:54

I like it, especially if your surname has more than 1 syllable in it.

Henio · 23/10/2021 16:54

Is your friend welsh? Bryn is much more of a boys name in wales, I think its a pretty name for a girl though

Brittanyspringer · 23/10/2021 16:54

I immediately thought of gavin and Stacey

QueenDanu · 23/10/2021 16:55

If you picked a boy's name for a girl it'd be unreasonable to expect no reaction to that

If you cant handle the fact the other people are allowed to have a reaction to your baby's name, then choose something less pass-remarkable

mumonthehill · 23/10/2021 16:56

In wales it would only be a boys name, however if you like it then use it.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 23/10/2021 16:57

I live in Wales and while a girl named Brynn might make me think twice, I certainly wouldn't say anything - she will be your lovely daughter and everyone will know her as that first. In any case, there are vast numbers of far worse names that you could have chosen Balonz

Simonjt · 23/10/2021 16:57

Brynn is a great name for a girl, there are more Brynns registered each year than Bryns, I’m not sure why people are pretending Brynn isn’t a girls name.

Diverseopinions · 23/10/2021 16:57

You can choose the name you like, of course, and Brynn is pretty, but it leaves the child few options to adapt it, and no wiggle room for manouvre. I think it is worth having a step back and thinking that the name is the important element of identity belonging, not to you, but to the person who's been named. She will have the job of dealing with it. I knew a Sophia who pronounced it Soph 'I' a, like the capital I in the middle, and she got well fed up correcting people. Having people thinking you were going to be a male, will be a nuisance. There are arguments for playing safe.

It's a luxurious liberty we take as parents to choose our child's name to reflect our own taste; years ago currying favour with older relatives would have been the motivation, or faith reasons. If you are a famous celebrity, you can afford to play creative with baby's name, because you child is going to be so advantaged, in any case, and probably will move in privileged, golden people circles, anyway, with other super-creatively named kids.

Yes, as parents, an unusual name choice for your child may reflect edginess, cool, taste. But parents are not having to cope with the misunderstandings and corrections as the child will, as an adult.

James has soft sound which Brynn just doesn't have.

I think giving an easy name to a child is a blessing.
So, I don't think, at bottom, a friend's concern is about them being rude, I think they are conscious of the child's perspective on being identified with a very unusual name, and trying to be helpful. If they know you well, perhaps they are being reasonable and helpful.

Of course, it is up to you, but I don't think a name is like choosing wallpaper, some place where you indulge your fancy. I think pragmatism has to come into it too.

Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 23/10/2021 16:57

Honestly I think your friend, although coming across rude to you, was being kind to the baby. It’s awful for a girl and is most certainly, in pronunciation, a male name to almost everyone.

Yes your baby, your rules and all that but that’s a name I think it is a good job you said before actually naming her it.

MirandaBlu · 23/10/2021 16:58

If she's Welsh, I kind of understand. Bryn is a very old name and traditionally male. It can be strange to see it (or something close to it) be treated as if it's exclusively or primarily a girls' name. The same thing happened with French speakers and traditional boys' names like Alexis and Rémi - they became widely used as girls' names in Anglophone countries and now it's a bit awkward to use them for boys in France. Of course, a lot of this is a result of cultural and social misogyny - once girls use a name it's no longer fit for boys. Why not just adapt to it being unisex?

Of course, you can still use the use the name - the only thing that matters is that you and the baby's other parent (if applicable) agree on it. And I think "ridiculous" is a stretch - there have been girl Brynns for quite some time. It's also in a sense a place name - e.g., Bryn Mawr - and as such unisex.

HazelandChacha · 23/10/2021 16:58

@blacksax

James for a girl?

rofl

Ryan Reynolds has a daughter called James
larkstar · 23/10/2021 16:59

Absolutely love Brynn (fixing autocorrect for Bryan!)

We didn’t get a very positive reaction to the name we chose for our first child but when she was born we changed our minds because she just didn’t look like the name suited her so we unexpectedly changed our minds - I guess that could happen with you too. Strangely when our second daughter was born we felt that the name we had dropped for our first daughter was right for her so we did use the name (even though it wasn’t really top of list for DD #2!) - I think the names we chose suit them both perfectly and they could never have been used the other way around. Brynn - very short and pretty, earthly and natural.

Smartiepants79 · 23/10/2021 17:00

And yes you have to accept that if you make unusual choices then there will be some people who have strong opinions about it.
You have to be able to not care that other people think your choices are a bit weird.
The same is true for all things in life.

QueenDanu · 23/10/2021 17:00

Oh, Brynn, yeh that's known as a man's name, but in America it's been used as a girls name.

Welsh and Irish names often seem to be used for different sexes in America, eg Finley for a girl, Brynn for a girl.

Viviennemary · 23/10/2021 17:00

It's dire. Why would you.

SickAndTiredAgain · 23/10/2021 17:01

@dementedma

People call girls James???
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have a daughter called James.

I’m not sure how many other people would call a girl James.

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