Would you use the name everyone hates?

[NavyBerry]

So me and DH chose a name for our DD. It is English, classic, old, probably posh. I don't know anyone with the name and neither does my husband. We like the meaning, the sound of it and the diminutives. It goes well with the surname and our names. I don't want to say it but it is smth like Verity or Lavinia. Quite rare.
His family was very rough critisizing it, mine is being even worse. Anyone who we mention it to says how awful it is. I'm not getting it. There is no valid reason for such rude reaction apart from people not having heard of it much. I don't know what to do. We have already got used to it but are we ruining our baby's life? Have you been in a similar situation? I'm under the impression that you can meet a child with any name nowadays and our choice will hardly be a shock

You know we can't answer that without knowing the name

Having such unpleasant and rude relatives will have a much greater negative impact on a child’s life than any name possibly could.

If everyone thinks it's awful, it probably is. Why haven't you said it here though?

It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It’s hard enough settling on a name without other peoples input.

People will be much blunter about prospective names than they will about a named baby. So if you don’t want their opinions, don’t discuss it until the baby is here and named and maybe even registered.

Well assuming it is just a name like Lavinia then of course not. Just stop engaging, they’ll get used to it.

If you want general opinions on the name then post it and people will tell you.

I had my heart set on a (Scottish) name for a daughter after reading it in a book. Everyone bar my Mum (who had read the same series and also loved it) took the piss. Because to DM and I it was said in a lovely Scottish accent (none of us are Scottish), but everyone else said it wrong or put on a 'chavvy' accent and said it would be pronounced like that by most people. So I didn't use it.

I'm guessing maybe Pandora, Cressida, Clarissa or something along those lines?

If you like the name then use it and I'm sure family will get used to it in time

It is usually a mistake to share your preferred name before birth as people tend to see that as an invitation to provide their opinion which they would never do once the baby has arrived.

If you really love the name and don’t use it, you’ll probably regret it! Go for it

Your baby so your choice.

However, if everyone you tell universally hates it, I would wonder if there was any weight to their criticism? Is there a specific issue they have, would this be a burden or inconvenience to your child?

Sometimes parents use naming as an opportunity to try and project their individuality or creativity rather than thinking about this being a name for an individual in their own right, who won't always be defined by being your child. If that isn't the case, fair enough, but I would be curious as to why not one other person likes it.

If anyone googles the name this post would probably come up. According to my research this name is advised on MN as a nice classic English name. But apparently people out there haven't heard of it or at least people we know. It really doesn't have a bad story behind it, no celebrities, nothing bad in fiction. Yet the reaction was totally awful. I didn't expect it. It might not be to everyone's taste but it is not TERRIBLE. Sorry for not saying it here. Since it is not popular it would probably be quite outing. 😕 I just don't know what to do with this feedback now

It's up to you what you name your child but if you decide to go with a different name can I recommend not telling anyone until the baby is here? Much harder to hate a name when it belongs to a cute newborn even if it is awful

I genuinely cannot see how it would be outing if it has already been discussed on MN before. Have a look on darkgreener and see how popular it is.

If everyone else hates it and you don’t, the simple chances are your child won’t thank you for it either. I think asking an anonymous forum would give you a better idea though.

We can’t really comment unless we know the name OP. Nothing wrong with Verity or Lavinia so if your name choice really is similar then just go for it. There are some old fashioned names which are a lot worse than Verity or Lavinia so if, for example, you’ve picked something like Gertrude then perhaps your family are right to be cautious.

Is it Lettice? That would be outing in fairness.

Agatha / Agnes? Letitia?

It's so hard to say without knowing the name. Tbh, I'd just change my MN username and come back another day and ask opinions on the name, without any of the back story! Then it wouldn't matter if you were outed.

Oh hang on...is it Dolcie?

You can also type D&bb!e and people will get the idea

That is a guess by the way. If any weird coincidence I am right, I definitely don't know anyone who is about to name their dd Dolcie. Or Agnes, Agatha or Letitia either.

Ooh I love Lettice! OP, if it’s Lettice, don’t listen to your family. Great name - and Letty is a good shortening.

Use it.
But in the meantime tell everyone that you've changed your mind and you're going to call her Victoria instead. Just to shut them up.

Dorothy - Dotty, Dolly?

Unless it means something rude in another language, it's difficult to imagine it is actually that bad.

Ermintrude? Winifred?

Prudence? I’m also thinking Cressida but then there are a couple of famous ones. Hyacinth? Maud?