Would you use the name everyone hates?

[NavyBerry]

So me and DH chose a name for our DD. It is English, classic, old, probably posh. I don't know anyone with the name and neither does my husband. We like the meaning, the sound of it and the diminutives. It goes well with the surname and our names. I don't want to say it but it is smth like Verity or Lavinia. Quite rare.
His family was very rough critisizing it, mine is being even worse. Anyone who we mention it to says how awful it is. I'm not getting it. There is no valid reason for such rude reaction apart from people not having heard of it much. I don't know what to do. We have already got used to it but are we ruining our baby's life? Have you been in a similar situation? I'm under the impression that you can meet a child with any name nowadays and our choice will hardly be a shock

Non of those so far (relieved).
Actually I know both Agneses and Agathas. Not English though.

It's funny people keep mentioning Cressida. I love it and almost regret not insisting upon it for my daughter (who has a more standard, but still relatively unusual name)

Gertrude

Come on OP tell us the name, it’s it Porsche or Mercedes?

I don't want to write it down in case they Google and this comes up. But I'm presuming it's the name which is pronounced Verr-onn-ika.

Either way, it's be easier to give the child a different name, just so you don't have to deal with their bullshit.

But it's really none of their business, and I recommend not mentioning any other names to the the bunch of plonkers, until DD is fully registered and then it'll be too late, and they'll be distracted by a lovely baby.

It's horrible when people judge the names you like... I'm due a DS in 11 weeks and whilst I've given hints and tried to judge people's reactions to names (and how other people would say his name, we live in a town with a broad spectrum of northern accents) I haven't been specific with a name and won't until I've registered him, I think it's unlikely people will say mean things once it's their actual name! Or I at least hope they wouldn't!

Other people’s views on baby names are completely irrelevant.

My DD is a Rosemary - always loved the name, have known several lovely Rosemarys and even though a couple of people thought it was old-fashioned, we love it and DD, now in her 20s, loves it too (and has never shortened it).

At the time she was born, all baby girls seemed to be called Chloe, Sophie, Alice and Hannah so it was lovely to have a name that no-one else had.

@NavyBerry everyone hates my DD name! Well not in real life (at least they haven't said it to my face) but when I posted it on here so many made fun of it and even made a thread on here making fun of it! But we absolutely love it and would definitely use it again if I had my time over x

Yes, It's hard to advise without knowing the name. Do you think your family are against the name because they worry about teasing eg. Lavinia "Lav" , Letitia "Tit" etc? ; or they think it is much too old fashioned sounding eg. Mavis, Ethel etc? Maybe they don't realise that there are all sorts of names more commonly used now and that name teasing isn't as likely as it was years ago?

Having said all that, you do have to try and bear your childs feelings in mind too and if the name is incredibly unusual, it could be for good reason, sorry.

Big mistake in sharing before the baby is here as people feel more free to stick their oar in.
If you both love it and it is a real name, not a made-up name, then go for it.
Is it a class thing do you think? People can be very defensive. My DH’s parents got very offended when he didn’t put his name down for a council house. If you depart from family norms, insecure people see it as judgement and rejection.
They will get used to it in time.

The name you decide on for your child is up to you, absolutely screw what other people think. I'm sure it's a fab name.

Prudence?

Ah Mary ?! You get to choose your baby's name. People will either love, hate or be indifferent to it.

Virginia?

Is it Viv

Gertrude?

You could write it like this:-

Exlxixzxaxbxextxh.

(That’s Elizabeth btw.)

In general I think - your baby, your choice. However, there are some kids in my kids classes where I have wondered why someone didn’t say “why the fuck would your saddle the poor kid with such a ridiculous name?” to them.

@BluebellsGreenbells

You can also type D&bb!e and people will get the idea

Yes just space it out or put dots in between the letters.
Like G. e. r. t. r. u. d. e.
Tell us and we'll let you have honest answers.

Are your families reactions reverse snobbery?
As you said the name was quite posh. I'm wondering if the name itself is fine it's just their baggage around class maybe?
If that's the case then use the name you & your DH chose. If they keep pushing on it mock something about their names back until they stop.

Just name change and post it as a neutral what do you think of this name post - as part of a list if you want - so if your rellies spot it on a google it won’t matter

Who posts asking advice on a name and refuses to mention the name?!

Bizarre people about these days like

I named my kid the name that is both (a) rude in another language, (b) polarising.
I did it anyway. And it really suits her. It's her name, and its adorable.

(I did ask about my choice of name on here, this was 9 years ago. The response was don't do it. I asked MN to delete the thread as it was possible to google her name and I didn't want that for her in the future. They did).

Your thread is pointless if you won't share the name - maybe name change and start another thread if you don't want the name linked to your user name. Or do as a pp suggested and s p a c e it out.

If you aren't open to people expressing their opinions on a name, then why on erth share it with people before the baby arrives ?

Once the little one is an actual person, with that name, then people will be much less likely to share their opinions.

However, I do agree with this :
However, if everyone you tell universally hates it, I would wonder if there was any weight to their criticism? Is there a specific issue they have, would this be a burden or inconvenience to your child?

Generally, although you might get one or two 'blunter' people, you'll have that balanced out with people trying to not say anything, or trying to think or a slightly positive comment about a name. If everyone has really said how awful it is, then I'm inclined to go with the 'no smokl without fire' train of thought.

What good is this thread if you won't say the name?