Hurt by comments on name , should I change ?

[newmum332]

I’m due to have DT’s in 2 weeks. We don’t know what we are having but we had decided on names for all combinations. I’ve not shared names with family or friends up until now when my mum practically begged me (over text). I eventually relented and told her our name choices. She replied to the text ‘Oh I hate Stella’ (and no comment on the other names).

It’s made me doubt the name now, has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I go for the name anyway? I feel like if I do it will always be on my mind that she ‘hates’ it but I don’t want to regret letting her put me off either!

*doh! Just realised it was your mum.....she is obviously still your mum!

My grandson has a name I don't love.
But it is a name chosen for him by HIS parents and they love it.
That's all that matters.

Stella is a great name but I am impartial as I have Spanish as a mother tongue.

It's your child, OP, and your choice.

It doesn't matter one bit, that your Mum dislikes this name choice for a girl. I don't understand why she was adamant that you should tell her really. I like the name,but not heard this name for years, but I had two friends at school named Stella, but that was in the 1950's !`

How rude! Loads of people don't 'like' the names chosen for babies but then they just become their names and people stop having opinions on the name and just love the kid.

And Stella is a great name.

Good luck and loads of love to you and your family.

I have twins too. Twins are brilliant.

Call them whatever you want to.

Stella is a great name, your mum will get used to it.

In your position, I'd reply to my mum letting her know that I'd felt pressured into telling her the names we'd chosen and am massively hurt that having shared them with her, she feels it's ok to reply that she hates one of them. Tell her you still love the name Stella and that you hope by the time the babies arrive, she'll have found something nicer to say.

I like the name.

I'd be very tempted to tell her I was considering a few alternatives, and then reel off a list of really peculiar names like Hildegarde, Araminta, Jezebel and Eglantine!

Don't let her put you off - it's your baby and she was out of order.

People are always gonna have an opinion so you just have to decide whether you can live with it or no.

I once even had a stranger telling me my name was horrible and she hated it. It was a girl I met at a party through mutual friends and when I introduced myself she literally said "Oh I hate that name, it's so ugly". My name is Caroline, which I happen to consider a very normal/neutral name that gets loads of love on here.

Bottom line is, not everyone is going to like the same things (names in this case) that you do but you have to decide whether you let it get to your or not. I personally don't like the name Stella (had a horrible family member named Estela ruin it for me) but it's your child so your choice.

Oh my days is this a thing? People turning their nose up at a babies name.
I love Stella and even if I didn't who am I to judge.
Xxx

Mn has like millions of users, literally. You won't find a name that some people don't hate. As for your mum that's an incredibly rude thing to say, I'll be keeping the actual name secret till after she's born now thanks

How rude . It’s a lovely name .
My MIL laughed when we told her our son’s name and thought we were joking, asking ‘ what is it really?’

I love Stella! Please use it. I changed DC2 middle name because my mum said she hated it. He's 3 and a half and I still regret it.

It's a lovely name. It does remind me of Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar named Desire' though. . STELLLLAAAAAA

@newmum332

I just name changed so I can tell you that I'm a Stella too 😉. I get the very occasional joke about beer or mention of Stella McCartney, or mock-scream Stellaaa!! from A Street Car Named Desire, but mostly I'm told what a lovely name it is, that did I know it means star, and Spanish, Italians and others will claim it as their own, and quite frequently what a star I am 😁

I love my name. I've met maybe 2 other Stellas in my life so I know it's not common. Good luck with your babe choices!

This is why you don’t tell anyone the name until baby is here!

Street car named desire.

I love the name Stella. When I was about 9 or 10, I wanted to change my very middle-of-the-road name to Stella. Didn't though.

I would actually ask what her problem is with the name. My Dad is a pretty easygoing bloke in most instances but there are a couple of names that he hates, because of association. I have this too (I won't say the names because I don't wish to offend anyone) - where people I have known have been called these names and "done me wrong", I would not ever use those names or be happy hearing them.

If it's just prejudice, then I'd go ahead and use the name regardless. If it's "classist", then I'd go ahead an use the name regardless. But if she was bullied horrendously at school or work by a Stella, then I might think twice about it, especially as you have said this is not her usual character to behave like this.

Ask her, then go from there.

Oh dear! I've just learnt something - I've never seen A Streetcar Named Desire, so didn't realise that Over the Hedge was ripping it off when the cat yells STELLLAAAAA!! as well!

Stella is a lovely name. Unusual and easily spelt. As PPs have said, it's really nobody else's business. I have a brother called Howard, which I think is pretty awful, so I wouldn't have set that much store by my parents' opinions anyway.

I like Stella. I knew a Greek Stalla once and thought that was lovely too. Unusual but not ‘out there’

My MIL slated my favourite girls name when I was pg with DD. So much so that DH went completely off it and we didn’t use it. It rankled for a long while. I’d make sure I shut her down op, in case she tries to change your mind.

Stella is a beautiful name. Your mum has had her turn and all the pps popping on to say they don't like it can bugger off.

This happened to me with MIL and I didn’t use the name. Years later, I still regret it and feel annoyed with myself.

Use Stella! It’s not your mum’s choice. She’ll get used to it.

Also MIL was a judgey bitch about all my name choices and made me doubt myself. (When I told her what my DSis named her child, she said “that’s an acceptable name.” ) MIL’s 3 children have the most generic, boring names you can imagine.

I was so hormonal though! Don’t let them put you off your choice.

Don't ever tell anyone name choices before the baby arrives, too many opinions tbh.

I really like Stella. Ignore your Mum, it's none of her business

I wouldn’t pay attention at all. She’s from a different generation. To her, Stella would be a name her mum’s friends would have.
I always think when all our kids have grown up, they’ll start having babies and calling them Gary, Tracy, Karen and Steve because they’ll be cute old names and we’ll have to 🤐 haha

We flatly refused to tell anyone DD’s name until she was born. People find it all to easy to comment and say they don’t like a particular name when you are still pregnant. However once you’ve given birth and named your child, they are much more likely to keep their opinions to themselves