Hurt by comments on name , should I change ?

[newmum332]

I’m due to have DT’s in 2 weeks. We don’t know what we are having but we had decided on names for all combinations. I’ve not shared names with family or friends up until now when my mum practically begged me (over text). I eventually relented and told her our name choices. She replied to the text ‘Oh I hate Stella’ (and no comment on the other names).

It’s made me doubt the name now, has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I go for the name anyway? I feel like if I do it will always be on my mind that she ‘hates’ it but I don’t want to regret letting her put me off either!

@newmum332 if I were you I'd probably just phone her and calmly let her know how much it upset you when she responded like that to a name you spent so much time choosing. Tell her that you'll still be calling your baby Stella, as you and your partner love the name, and that you'd appreciate it if she kept her opinions on the name to herself from now on. And reassure her that she'll grow to love the name as she bonds with her granddaughter. Then providing she doesn't say anything more about the name just leave it there and try to forget what she said.

Ignoring the fact that Stella is a cheapo beer with the nickname 'wife beater' and so a name I'd never ever choose...

My dad didn't like my boy"s name, but I think most children grow into their name and family get use to it. At least it's not a name that can be constantly incorrectly pronounced just for her to make a point/ wind you up.

My parents my rude about DS's name too. I didn't tell them before I had him but only because someone warned me that people can sometimes seem to feel that they can comment on the name while you're still pregnant rather than just accept it when baby's here. They like his name now. They clumsily told me when he was a few weeks old. Urgh makes me cringe remembering.

I like Stella. You Mum was really rude and honestly she'll grow to love it. Don't not use a lovely name you love.

I really like Stella. Name your babies what you like.
You have to live with their names.
Do not be swayed.

Stella is a lovely name and your mum owes you an apology.

Have the name you want OP. So many people say they dislike names, but then after a while say they can't imagine the child having any other name (happened with my DC and they don't have crazy names)! I wouldn't make a big deal out of it with her, just a breezy, 'oh that's a shame, we love it. So excited to meet our babies.'

First rule never say what name you’re thinking of using as you will always come across someone with an opinion that they don’t like it for x,y,z reasons.

Only opinions that matter are the parents - so you stick with the name op. What’s your mum going to do about it- nothing.

Just text back “I wasn’t asking your opinion, I was telling you what we’ve chosen” and then stick with it.

My mum has been very vocal about names and weve discussed it loads...
When I said that me and DH were seriously suggesting the name Sapphire she quite viciously reminded me that was the name of the rape unit that I had to go to at the police station when I was raped as a teenager.... clearly couldnt use that name now :(

I am one. It is a family name (skips generations). My DD is going to use it if she has a DD.

Great choice

Stella is a cheapo beer with the nickname 'wife beater' and so a name I'd never ever choose

This^

It's also really ugly sounding.

@Ohyesohyeah

Ignoring the fact that Stella is a cheapo beer with the nickname 'wife beater' and so a name I'd never ever choose...

Read my post above.

Well I hate it too (sorry!) but I'm not naming your baby and neither is your DM.
Don't let anyone out you off a name you love (and don't tell anyone before before your baby's born!)

@Wizadorawobble

It's also really ugly sounding

Don't hold back. Just because you are safe behind a screen doesn't mean you shouldn't vaguely apply a filter.

Love from
the OPS name choice

I will get my coat.

Stella is a perfectly good name. It's not unique, but also not very common, everybody knows how to spell it and it sounds feminine. It also works internationally. It works for a girl or an older lady. It works for someone with a simpler job or a high court judge.

Really, I can't find fault with it. I think your mums just a but sour that she doesn't get a say.

I told my mum fake names because I knew she would be like yours. I said we were going to call baby Horatio all through pregnancy. When we told her DS name she said 'well I guess it isn't as bad as Horatio' now she loves the name and it really suits DS. Also Stella is lovely.

I had a friend called Stella. Lovely person, lovely name.
I'd be tempted to point out you didn't ask her opinion.

It's nothing to do with your Mum. Your children, your naming rights - and who cares what anyone else thinks. It really doesn't matter whether she learns to like it or not - can't see the problem tbh. You need to worry less about what other people think. By the way, Stella is a lovely name.

Your mum needs to fuck off. Dont engage any further with that discussion.

Fortunately I’m yet to come across anyone who drinks Stella so I don’t associate the name with the beer.

Thank you for all the positive comments! I really shouldn’t have told her but I didn’t think for a minute she’d say anything negative.

I think I’ll tell her I wasn’t asking for her opinion and leave it at that.

@eaglejulesk thank you! Needed someone to tell me this straight. I think it was more shock of her actually saying it but you’re so right!

You'll never get a name that everyone likes. The really popular ones get called "overused" so you can't win. FWIW I think it's a lovely name.

It's a lovely name.

Not her baby, and if she hates it so much, she can stay away.
I like Stella and know two - and they are delightful little girls!