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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

She stole our girl name! What would you do??

227 replies

Vikasjourney · 26/01/2020 07:43

Ladies, what would you do if you were pregnant with a girl, your best "couple friends" were also expecting a baby girl, you told said "couple friends" of your chosen name aaaaaaaand BAMMM they had their child two weeks before your due date and SURPRIIIIIIISE they used your girl name! Shock

Would you still use the name?

Would you unfriend those two and start an open war? Angry

Ooooor... Would you quietly dispise them and gossip about them on Mumsnet pretending nothing happened when you meet? Grin

I want to know your opinion on this!!

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Seaandsand83 · 26/01/2020 09:17

OP ignore all the posters saying it wouldn't bother them because it absolutely would!!! How close are you to these friends? I would ask them if they got the idea for that name from you, it maybe that it was always their first choice?

LightDrizzle · 26/01/2020 09:19

Use the name!
Have you already congratulated them? If not I’d include a reference to “...and obviously a great name 😉😀” - so they know they haven’t put you off.

TheoneandObi · 26/01/2020 09:19

Just use the same name. The girls will find it huge fun.

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/01/2020 09:24

If the name is a popular one then they may have been considering it all along.

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/01/2020 09:24

I would definitely still use it!

Elbeagle · 26/01/2020 09:25

OP ignore all the posters saying it wouldn't bother them because it absolutely would!!!

Grin how do you know what would bother other people?

CallmeAngelina · 26/01/2020 09:25

If they've "nicked" it deliberately, assuming that you won't now be able to use it and don't care what you think about that, then they're not the good friends you thought they were.
If you continue with your plans and use the name regardless, it might piss them off. Meh! What a shame that would be.

BobbyBlueCat · 26/01/2020 09:26

I wouldn't care at all. And I'd still use it.

You might not be friends in ten years and it'll make no difference.
Your child may go to school and her best friend might have the same name.

CallmeAngelina · 26/01/2020 09:27

Can you alter the spelling so that's different?
Bad idea! Your dd will then spend the rest of her life correcting the mis-spelling of it from other people.

ruby2020 · 26/01/2020 09:27

They were first, I imagine they had already chosen the name and just didnt know how to react when you suddenly mentioned your choice?

They've done nothing wrong, you'll find that thousands of people will have the same name, you need to get used to that now.

EffYouSeeKaye · 26/01/2020 09:29

THEY stole it, not SHE.

I’d use the name I wanted, whether that be the same one or a new one, and distance myself because that’s a weird way for friends to behave.

dreamingofsun · 26/01/2020 09:31

i agree with callmeangelina. it also depends how unusual it is.....if its a very common one then you obviously werent choosing it to be unusual. one of our kids godparents used the name of their godchild for their own child. i thought this was a bit off, especially as they knew that the name wasnt particularly common

how long have you know them for? are they likely to always be best couple friends?

thereplycamefromanchorage · 26/01/2020 09:33

Just use the name fgs and dial down the drama.

JustFinished · 26/01/2020 09:34

Ever thought they could have picked the name ages ago and you told them what you had picked, they thought well we have had this name since 3 days pregnant so we are going to use it. She might not have actually copied you, you just like the same name. If you like it use it, there’ll probably be 3 with the same name in their class once they go to school anyway!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/01/2020 09:37

Use it but what is it?

loutypips · 26/01/2020 09:37

This is why is a bad idea to 'name' your child before they arrive. Keep the name secret, then no one can steal it.

2020BetterBeBetter · 26/01/2020 09:38

Use the name. They knew in advance what you planned to call your daughter so it clearly doesn’t bother them, so don’t let it bother you.

kittykat7210 · 26/01/2020 09:38

I know it’s not the same but I grew up with my best friend having the same name as me! We still see each other sometimes despite living across the country from one another, she’s bc a month younger than me but I actually quite enjoyed being best friends with the same name!

I think you should still use it!

ScarlettDarling · 26/01/2020 09:39

Op I'd be furious too. Obviously it wasn't a name she'd planned on using or she'd have told you when you mentioned it. She at least should have had the courtesy to tell you she was going to use the name for her baby. Use it anyway though if you love it, it really doesn't matter that your dd will have a little friend with the same name. My best friend of 41 years has the same name as me!

Fozzleyplum · 26/01/2020 09:39

Use the name. A few weeks before our due dates, my ante natal class was discussing the names we'd chosen. I knew I was having a boy and said what we were going to call him and why (after a grandfather). It's a normal name, but was not at all fashionable at the time, so very rarely used.

Another member of the class who was due just before me, said they had not yet chosen names. When her DS arrived the following week, she called him the name we had chosen. I didn't really mind, although I was a bit taken aback, but even when I said, "How lovely! As you know, we're having a (name) too, she said nothing - no suggestion that it had been "their" name too but she hadn't wanted to say, and no "Hope you didn't mind, but we love it so much". I wasn't miffed, just surprised.

I was however annoyed when, a couple of years later, she had her DS2 just before I had mine, and made a sarcastic comment about whether I would use the same name as they had. I couldn't believe her brass neck!

roisinagusniamh · 26/01/2020 09:45

I would use it as a second name , perhaps ?
If your friends have chosen it , it's more than likely going to one of those popular names that are overused and you discover when your child goes to Nursery that there are three of more girls with the same name.
20 years ago my friend called her child Ellie, and really thought it was unusual for the time.
She has had several Ellies,Elles,Ellas,etc in her friendship group.

Willow4987 · 26/01/2020 09:48

Personally I’d be annoyed as you’d told her the name...

I’m not sure I’d change it as they are friends and not family. I think it’s harder when you have cousins with the same name

We had a similar situation with our DS due the same day as my brothers DS - so I discussed names with the other mum quite soon and luckily we didn’t have clashing lists

Schuyler · 26/01/2020 10:07

Impossible to give an answer unless we know how common the name is, sorry!

BecauseReasons · 26/01/2020 10:09

Maybe they'd come up with the idea independently and it's an unfortunate coincidence? Just use the name anyway.

saffronshawty · 26/01/2020 10:10

I think it's sly how she didn't tell you when you told them "oh we also are going to use that name" she probably quietly thought "haha we are due before her so we will get in first"

Use it. Do not back down