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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

She stole our girl name! What would you do??

227 replies

Vikasjourney · 26/01/2020 07:43

Ladies, what would you do if you were pregnant with a girl, your best "couple friends" were also expecting a baby girl, you told said "couple friends" of your chosen name aaaaaaaand BAMMM they had their child two weeks before your due date and SURPRIIIIIIISE they used your girl name! Shock

Would you still use the name?

Would you unfriend those two and start an open war? Angry

Ooooor... Would you quietly dispise them and gossip about them on Mumsnet pretending nothing happened when you meet? Grin

I want to know your opinion on this!!

OP posts:
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MissingMySleep · 26/01/2020 08:23

Still use it

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 26/01/2020 08:23

I would use it, it ya your name after all.

scrivette · 26/01/2020 08:23

They knew you were using the name and still used it, so presumably they won't mind if you still use it.

My cousins both have the same name, it was never a problem.

dottiedodah · 26/01/2020 08:24

Do you really want an "open war" with your best friends ,when you both have lovely little girls who could also be "Besties" growing up together?!

TheReef · 26/01/2020 08:26

Just use the name. They knew your name so it's them that's copied you. Or maybe they had already decided to use the name before finding out and are thinking you stole their name Grin either way, call your dd whatever you want to.

Spidey66 · 26/01/2020 08:27

@Rosehip345 are people really bothered by this though?

I'm from an Irish background and have lots of duplicate names amongst my cousins. Lots of Marys and Patricks in particular. Noone got awkward about it.

Emmacb82 · 26/01/2020 08:28

I think if you’re really set on a name then you shouldn’t tell people before baby is born. Of course there is still the chance people will use it, but you would feel better about it if it was unexpected rather than telling them the name and feeling like they’ve ‘stolen’ it.
You have to just carry on now, if it’s a name you love and have always wanted it, have it!

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 26/01/2020 08:28

I don't think i would use the name. It would take the shine off for me. I don't think I'd bother asking them either just silently ghost 👻 them! Not really but I'd be quite irritated.

LividLaughLove · 26/01/2020 08:28

Is it top ten? I’d say it’s fair game if it’s very common.

MarshaBradyo · 26/01/2020 08:29

Use it still. If it’s your favourite it’ll annoy you if you don’t.

cushioncovers · 26/01/2020 08:29

Depends how common the name is. If it's one that's in the top 20 of girls names then there's not much you can say. If it's an unusual name or a traditional family name that's been handed down then I would be really pissed off.

cushioncovers · 26/01/2020 08:30

We need to know the name op to get perspective Smile

Ellmau · 26/01/2020 08:31

Just use the name. Say to them cheerfully "How lovely, our little girls will be name twins!"

puds11 · 26/01/2020 08:32

Is it an unusual name?

Checkmeowt · 26/01/2020 08:32

Omg i would hate that, i'd feel like i'd have to change everything. It depends though, had they always liked the name or not? This is a lesson to me, i will not be telling anyone before the baby is born 😂

Boysnme · 26/01/2020 08:33

I’d still use the name. My DS good friend has the same name as him. We only met after we’d had the kids and have now all become good family friends. It’s never caused an issue. You’ll also know now not to share anything private with this couple.

milliefiori · 26/01/2020 08:34

Name your child the name you chose. They are unlike to be joined at the hip for years to come. There were a handful of Bens and a handful of Matildas in three streets when DC were born. Every family moved away before they even started school.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/01/2020 08:35

Grow up.

thrree · 26/01/2020 08:35

They could have chosen the name and then when you mentioned it felt awkward but I do think they should of messaged you after saying either that they'd already chosen it when you mentioned it or we really liked the name when you mentioned it hope you don't mind etc. Otherwise it becomes the elephant in the room. If you still use the name I'd probably buy a personalised baby grow or something and maybe announce her name alongside it so if anyone says anything you can just say 'oh she was an x throughout the pregnancy'.

mnahmnah · 26/01/2020 08:38

I would be fuming too. But still use the name. You might not even be friends in years to come so it won’t matter they have the same name. You will regret it if you use a different name to the one you love.

justlockthedoor · 26/01/2020 08:39

It's very annoying. Are you sure they realised? Is it possible that they have come up with the name after you telling them and not registered where they first heard it? I'm not sure I would use it. I'd love to know what it is so we can give you something even better!

saraclara · 26/01/2020 08:40

Is 'unfriend' a verb? I know 'despise' is ( but not 'dispise').

FFS. In real life I'm a grammar and spelling pedant, but on a forum like this it's crass and petty to post simply (or at all) to correct someone, @KaptainKaveman

And unfriend is now common usage.

GaaaaarlicBread · 26/01/2020 08:43

Very annoying , I know you don’t own the name but it would grate me . We are not telling anyone what we are having or what names we like for that reason ! You just never know who might fancy it and if they have their baby first you’re screwed . But I’d still use it , and say ‘I hope you don’t mind but you used the name we were having so we are still going to use it ‘ or something . Or just leave it and don’t explain yourself and use the name anyway !

kiki22 · 26/01/2020 08:43

I would say to them it's going to be so confusing now that you decide to use the same name as us and see what they say.

I would also go for another name because this one might always remind you of them it would for me.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 26/01/2020 08:44

When I was pregnant with DS1 our next door neighbours had a little boy and called him the name that we had picked. They didn't know so it wasn't deliberate. We felt we couldn't use the name so went with our second choice.

Two years later we used the name for ds2. Neighbours had moved by that point.

It's just a name.