She stole our girl name! What would you do??

[Vikasjourney]

Ladies, what would you do if you were pregnant with a girl, your best "couple friends" were also expecting a baby girl, you told said "couple friends" of your chosen name aaaaaaaand BAMMM they had their child two weeks before your due date and SURPRIIIIIIISE they used your girl name!

Would you still use the name?

Would you unfriend those two and start an open war?

Ooooor... Would you quietly dispise them and gossip about them on Mumsnet pretending nothing happened when you meet?

I want to know your opinion on this!!

It depends on the name....but I would still use it.

I’d use the name but I would be a bit about them going forwards

Can you alter the spelling so that's different? If not, use it still anyway. If they say anything, make it clear they knew it was your first choice so if there's any confusion it's on them. I'd be letting the friendship wane, TBH. It's just not cool what they've done.

Also we really need to know the name OP! If it’s Amelia or another top 10 then of course it’s fine. However if it’s something v unusual and you think you will always be friends with these people then it could be a bit weird

I think I would still use it if it were my clear favourite - in 20 years my daughter isn't going to care that a family friend has the same name.

That said, I do think it's odd - given that you've been pregnant at the same time, have you not discussed names, and didn't the friends have their own favourites? I'd also find it a lot less weird if the name is something like Elizabeth or Charlotte, versus say Aminata or Hortense.

My friend did this. I was a bit miffed but then just thought 🤷‍♀️ She had hers first not a lot I could do about that! We used a different name as regardless people would always assume we were the ones that copied, plus having two with the same name would be annoying.

It happened to another friend of mine too and although she used a different name, she hasn’t spoken to the person for six years now!

Depends on the name. If it was something like Elizabeth then I would still use it. If it was Tallulah-Rae-Moonshine then I wouldn't as it's unusual.

I was pregnant at the same time as one of my oldest friends. I had my name picked out since before conception and didn't tell her. No secret, just didn't mention it. By pure coincidence she called her baby the name that we had picked for ours. Her baby was born a few days before.

I still used it - it's a very common name along the same lines as George, William, Elizabeth, Alice etc. So there are so many children with that name. Mine goes by a shortening of the name though, hers doesn't so there's no confusion.

Is 'unfriend' a verb? I know 'despise' is ( but not 'dispise').

Oh and I have two cousins that have the same name 🤦‍♀️ Because this happened and the other didn’t change it. Which is honestly just stupid, and yes both on the same side of the family, meaning my grandparents had two granddaughters with the same name.

I told my friend a potential name for my DG and she said she would use that for her new puppy, still used the name . It’s just a name

Is 'unfriend' a verb? I know 'despise' is ( but not 'dispise')

Is that necessary to the thread? Or were you just being a dick?

Use the name anyway OP

This happened to me, complete coincidence as me and DH hadn’t told anybody our names of choice. I had a boy, but had I had a girl I would have still used it.

My boy name was also someone from my antenatals name of choice. I had my baby first, the other couple still used the name and I’m glad they did. The fact our children share a name is of little consequence.

I think you’re overreacting.

I would use it but speak to them about it too .

I'd be really pissed off. With myself for telling anyone our baby names before the birth.

Live and learn, OP!

Maybe they chose that name before you, but didn't tell you/felt awkward when you told them. Regardless, no one owns the name. Are you next door neighbours and your kids would be in the same school every day so the same name might be a tad confusing on a daily basis? Even if so, the girls can have nicknames. I had a best friend all throughout my school years, we shared the same name. No problem at all.

Tbh, it's a childish attitude OP. Congratulate them on having a healthy baby and focus on cherishing what you have as well. Life is too short for primary school style arguments.

Use the name. It doesn’t really matter.

Idiots.

IF they had previously intended to use that nsme, they should have said so when you told them it’s what you were going to call your daughter. Then you could have discussed it & decided what to do about it.

I would have replied something like ‘Congratulations! It’s a lovely name, which is why we chose it. We told you we were going to call our daughter xx, so it seems a bit weird you’ve decided to call your daughter the same name, unless you don’t think they’ll spend much time together anyway?!’

Obviously no one ‘owns’ a name, but FFS, when good friends tell you what they’re going to call their child you don’t copy them. Yes, they might have others in their school classes, but that’s nothing like the same.

This happened to us too. My husband's cousin found out our baby names through another family member ,(first and middle). A month before ours arrived, they named theirs the same, both names! They were unusual names too. Because they're family, we decided to choose another set. Otherwise it's too annoying to be referred to as big x, little x. Agree with others posters, names dont belong to us, people are allowed to copy. But yes it absolutely pissed us both off. Lesson was learned for baby number 2, when family/friends asked, "any names?" I'd reply, "no! " Announced our second babys name, after her birth.

I really wouldn’t care, unless it was a very unusual name and even then it really is not going to be a life changing problem for the children .

If I had a name in mind when pregnant and someone else mentioned it I wouldn't speak up and say it was on our list, so they might have just been already thinking of it. If after having the baby they haven't acknowledged it though then I think that's very weak of them.

My sister used the name I had planned on using. I was a bit upset as she knew I wanted to use it, but it was a family name and so in the end I was just glad someone was using it to remember the family member. If it had been a friend though I would Have just gone ahead and used it anyway.

Depends how common the name is really.

Everyone knows they don't own a name. But that doesn't change the fact that it was a really shit thing for them to do. I'd still use it OP.

I'd be annoyed.

There are thousands of names to choose from. So I'd see if there was another one I loved.

I agree annoying ,but I wouldnt fall out over it .Maybe they already liked the name? Are there any other names you like? Maybe use as a second name.If you have a second child be sure not to disclose any names !

What did they say when you told them the name you'd chosen? And how long have you been friends for? Do you share the same circle of friends?