She stole our girl name! What would you do??

[Vikasjourney]

Ladies, what would you do if you were pregnant with a girl, your best "couple friends" were also expecting a baby girl, you told said "couple friends" of your chosen name aaaaaaaand BAMMM they had their child two weeks before your due date and SURPRIIIIIIISE they used your girl name!

Would you still use the name?

Would you unfriend those two and start an open war?

Ooooor... Would you quietly dispise them and gossip about them on Mumsnet pretending nothing happened when you meet?

I want to know your opinion on this!!

Girl’s name , not Girl. She didn’t ‘steal’ it, she used it.

Op where are you? Is the name unusual? If not, then I don't see an issue, use it anyway. Theres a million Olivias floating around another two won't hurt.

Lol relax and use the name you chose.

YANBU..... that's shitty and I would ask her outright why they chose that name knowing full well it was your chosen name because you TOLD HER and then make it clear that you will also be using that name.

Ask her outright if she understands how utterly shitty it is to do things like this and you feel so strongly about it you are seriously reconsidering your friendship with her.

It's not silly, it's not petty and it's not about ownership: choosing a name for your child is hard work and a massive deal so for you to share that with someone who is your friend and they deliberately use it makes them a VERY.BAD.PERSON.

She knows it's shitty OR she would have told you what she did BEFORE she had her DD.

As for all those with their nose in the air pretending it's no biggie: shut up.

Just use the name.

Also I don’t understand why people blab their chosen names when there’s a risk of this happening and them being upset. If there’s a next time keep your names to yourselves

Use the name and give her the middle-name 'Prima' (meaning 'first'). You could, of course, call her "CFers-stole-my-name" - but that would be pretty tough on the kid

@Fozzleyplum I hope you said ‘only if you steal our name again! DS1 was named after x grandfather - who was your DS1 named after again?’

I think it's so incredibly rude and insensitive and I can't understand everyone who down plays this. Naming a baby is such a huge thing, it can be all consuming when pregnant. You put a lot of time, thought and emotion into it. Sharing it with people is a big exciting thing, letting people know before birth is very personal, often only close friends share this information if at all. So you let them be privvy to this, excitedly share it and then have them do this with no acknowledgement to you first, when you are right at the end of your pregnancy is just really shitty. The only way for it to be slightly reasonable is for them to have broached it with you first. If it is a common name that could have been ok, but even if it is the number 1 name it's still shitty not to say anything and not care about your feelings.

I've sort of been on the other side of this, a friend used a very unusual boys name I'd had my heart set on for years and years, but by the time I had my son there was no way I could use it. It wouldn't seem fair to her new son. Difference was my friend genuinely had no idea. If she knew and didn't care I'd have felt very differently and still used it.

I would still name my child the name we had chosen.

This happened to us (and we miscarried the babe). We named ds another name and love him (of course) and cannot imagine him with the other first name.

Use it anyway. Having same name bonds people. But keep future info abt birthdays, gifts, etc to yourself bc they obviously are copiers.

Annoying but not more. Use it yourself ! If I were your friend I would have said something like ‘we’ve really loved the same name and might use it’.
In future (if there are more) don’t announce your intended name !
I have a friend who goes on holiday where I have been. She and her dh organise their travel before Ive been so it’s not as if I’ve recommended it they’ve heard me bore on about it - has happened three times now and places really really unusual/remote/hard to get to/amazing. Places I’ve never met anyone else whose been. I’ve stopped sharing where I’m going. Not sure why it annoys me so much !! It shouldn’t but it does.

This is why it’s best to keep names to once baby has been born.

I would be annoyed about this too. How long ago did you tell them your name choice? If it was months ago they may not even remember where they had first heard the name, and not even associate it with the conversation they had with you. However, if your friends were also considering the name at the time you told them your choice, I don't understand why they didn't tell you then, at least you would have been forewarned and could either have told them you would still give your daughter the name whether or not they did, or it would give you time to consider choosing a different name.

No matter what other people say here, I would think it odd if friends used the same name for babies born close together.

Years apart would not seem so odd, and I definitely wouldn't think it odd for people who had little to do with each other during pregnancy to choose the same name even if they live in the same area, the parents of children who have the same name in the same class at school probably didn't even know of each other when their children were born. The issue here is that OP's 'best couple friends' had been told her choice of name for her unborn child, and used it for their child without ever mentioning it.

Something similar happened to me, I chose a name for my first baby, a neighbour I was friendly with had her baby a few days before our daughter was born and used the same name - I hadn't discussed names with her so had no hard feelings about it obviously. I chose a different name.

Chances are you'll go your own way over time and not socialise with them so having the same name won't be an issue.
I'd still choose the name. They're rather narrow minded aren't they?

I think it’s a little odd that their preference wasn’t mentioned when you told them yours. But- I’d still use the name; there’s a good chance that as they grow up, your girls won’t even be in the same friendship circle. If anyone asked, just tell them that you’d chosen the name and your friends knew.

@KaptainKaveman- you missed a comma from your second post .

Use it trend it up a bit by adding a middle name that could double barrel with the first (e.g. Anne Marie, etc) Think of how the name can be shortened and use that all the time.
You can't steal a name, although I do think it was sneaky. Go ahead and do it your way.

They are hardly your best friends if you call open war, whatever that is.
You seem to misunderstand what friendship means.
Use the name you intended and tell the friends that you don't want to continue the farce of being their friends. That should do it.

Use it.
If it bothers you to have a friends baby with the same name.
Put the name as a middle name.
Or use it but shorten it.

I suppose it depends what the name is, if it’s a top 10 name such as Olivia or Emily, then let’s face it, there are going to be a few of them anyway. If it’s something more unusual like Cadence (just say that name on another thread 😀) then I would tell her you are going to stick with your plans and use that name.

I would still use the name.

Did you get the answer your wanted OP

*you

Make sure you tell them that's what you're calling your DD! Give them chance to potentially change it before registering!

In our antenatal group, by the time everyone had popped, we had Tom1, Tom2, Big'n'Little Alex, Elliot1 and Elliott2. Oh well.

This really is nothing