Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

<WAILS> she's unwittingly nicked my boy name!! <sob>

180 replies

UpTheFRIGGinDuff · 06/10/2013 19:07

We had decided on Rufus Caspar.

It was perfect.

We knew no other child with the name,it creates the NN Ru which I adore (can't use rupert or Reuben either),it's not popular but not unknown,it has no terrible associations,it goes brilliantly with our other DC names,and it's cool dammit.

But now a sort-of-relative-family-friend has used it for her PFB,and it will look like we've copied and I know it's childish but I do care about that for some reason.

It's taken me months to settle on a name and now I have to start all over again

It's Not Fair!

HELP ME

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Merel · 06/10/2013 20:11

Rudolf?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 06/10/2013 20:15

When are you due? You might feel differently IMA month.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/10/2013 20:18

Stop being such a wet blanket and use it then. If you love it that much, you barely know this woman, you'd advise anyone in the same position to use it, so bloody use it. Get a grip woman!

PanicMode · 06/10/2013 20:19

I am such a trendsetter - my eldest is Theo. when we chose it everyone said how unusual it was - it was well outside the top 100.

My second son is Rufus - only 108 in the country in the year he was born - and now MN wisdom says its going to be 'common' Shock

My third son is Rory - that too was unusual when he was born but I know a few now!

Honestly, if you love a name, use it - imagine if no-one in the early 70s had thought they could use Sarah because it was too common (I have about 10 friends called Sarah from prep/early childhood!)

Original poster
UpTheFRIGGinDuff · 06/10/2013 20:21
OP posts:
FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 06/10/2013 20:23

Rudolph?

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 06/10/2013 20:24

X-post with Merel

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 06/10/2013 20:24

I love your name choices. I consider most of them myself. I have a Raphael. His nickname is Roo (among many others). This just evolved from calling him Rapha Roo Roo. We were convinced he'd be a Rafe, but it just didn't trip off the tongue in the end. He's Rapha, Raph or Roo.

We also considered...

Bram (Abraham)
Caspar
Sacha
Amos
Hector
Emrys
Ivo
Otto
Bodhi

TBH though, if you love Rufus, use it.

fanjodisfunction · 06/10/2013 20:25

You should use it, I grew up with a mate called Christopher whose cousin born three months after him was called christopher too. Nobody cared.

MissStrawberry · 06/10/2013 20:27

Use it anyway. If they come to you and say anything just say you had already chosen the name. Did you tell anyone that could have told the other couple?

I was in an aqua-natal group and a mum named her baby the name DH and I had picked. I was a bit Oh, I can't use that now but DH sensibly told me of course we can and we did. We don't even see them now and if we did it wouldn't matter. There are always going to be multiple people who have the same name as your child.

Original poster
UpTheFRIGGinDuff · 06/10/2013 20:27

ShowOf I love all of those...

OP posts:
BoreOfWhabylon · 06/10/2013 20:28

Drustan - nn Dru?

IAmNotDarling · 06/10/2013 20:29

Rudyard?

Coupon · 06/10/2013 20:29

Use it anyway! And you can just say "Yes isn't it a coincidence, it's the name we had already settled on too. Great minds think alike."

girliefriend · 06/10/2013 20:34

Rafferty nn Raff or Raffy - love this name Smile

I think your ds may have been saved from years of being called Rufus the dufus - sorry.

Anjou · 06/10/2013 20:42

I can totally appreciate how you feel but if this is the name you want, you HAVE to use it.

You can just say to the person who's used it "no way! That is the exact name we chose for our DC - if its a boy - a few months ago. It took us ages to decide on it. What are the odds you guys chose the same names!" If they think you've copied (and I'm sure they won't) then they'll forget about it in a while. Chances are, you'll hardly ever come into contact with them in the future. However, if you don't use 'THE' name, you'll be reminded of it every time you look at your DC, and regret it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, OP! Thanks

devonsmummy · 06/10/2013 20:45

I love Asa & Rufus - how about Fraser?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 06/10/2013 20:55

Honestly you'll regret it if you don't. Rufus, rufus, rufus.

What about Franklin? I wanted that for DC3, but she's a girl. Desperate for someone else to use it!

HandragsAndGladbags · 06/10/2013 20:59

Redvers?

And before anyone laughs it is a real name, and one of my ancestors. Along with Lucrezia and Valentine.

Can you tell we used to be on the stage? Grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/10/2013 21:14

Rudyard?

5madthings · 06/10/2013 21:19

Our rudi was almost a Rufus!

And my nephew is Caspar, my sister and I had a cat called Caspar! She says she forgot about the cat...

What about raphael?

Shame you used rudi on the cat.

I like franklin.

Also Emmett and dp likes Eugene which I didmt but it has grown on me.

I shall have a think and see if I can find our old name lists...

LentilAsAnything · 06/10/2013 21:25

Anything here: www.babynames.co.uk/gender.php?name=Ru&submit.x=0&submit.y=0?

MellowandFruitfulSnazzy · 06/10/2013 21:25

Definitely just use the name(s) you love. You said yourself you don't know why you feel off about doing it. A few months down the line it will just be the way things are.

HavantGuard · 06/10/2013 21:34

I think the correct stick-to-the-plan response is, "Congratulations! What a coincidence! That's the name we've chosen for our baby!"

It is a very nice name. Are you sure you don't want to cut them off? Think of the savings on Christmas presents.

ZenNudist · 06/10/2013 22:03

Rowan? Much nicer than rufus IMO.

Swipe left for the next trending thread