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Original poster

Is this really an issue???

277 replies

Sim2 · 01/10/2011 02:33

My brother has a one year old called Eva..I have just called my daughter Eve- both girls have different middle and surnames yet my sister in law has fallen out with us!!!
Is this really an issue?!..surely it doesn't matter at all!!

OP posts:
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whostolemyname · 01/10/2011 17:43

Don't think its a big deal at all, wouldn't bother me, take no notice OP.

dreamingofsun · 01/10/2011 18:04

perhaps she can be referred to as 'eve with an e' in any family gatherings to save confusion

RueDeWakening · 01/10/2011 18:04

I don't think it's an issue. I have the same name as an aunt and a cousin, another cousin has it as her middle name, it's also my grandma's middle name. It's never bothered any of us.

stripeybump · 01/10/2011 18:11

I'd be livid if my SiL called her baby the same name as mine! It's just thoughtless. Did you really not think you'd cause upset? Names are a big deal.

Please consider changing her name to something similar like Evangeline or making it a middle name.

Kayano · 01/10/2011 18:26

I don't think I would say anything but I would be foaming inside! I would probably be funny with you and ensure that my child got called by it's name and your child got given some stupid nick name like Evie weevy or eve MarkII

I is evil

But no, I would be livid inside

morethemerrier · 01/10/2011 18:27

We have a Gracie (my brothers daughter) and a Grace born 12 months apart(my step brothers daughter) and my mum and stepdad have to verify which they are talking about constantly!

I think that if you were comfortable with the similarities then it wouldn't have hurt to have mentioned it to your brother to gauge their reaction. To then be surprised that your SIL is upset to be seems a bit naive.

I am expecting number 4, this being my parents 19th Grandchild and I will be choosing a name that is unique and individual to them. Thats even though I dont have a close relationship to my step siblings, Its just my belief that your name is part of your identity and to be constantly confused with a relative could, I think affect that relationship and cause unnecessary resentment.

I suppose it depends on your relationship to start with and how much time you spend together, imagine the confusion for the girls perhaps if being told off or in danger for instance? Would both girls respond or think its the other being called?

Its a shame but I think judging by the fallout the girls will perhaps not enjoy the same relationship had they have had totally different names. Eva perhaps will always consider Eve as the cousin who 'stole' her name.

LittlePebble · 01/10/2011 19:07

OP I think it is thoughtless.
Not sure if you discussed it before with your DB and DSiL?
My DSis and I are both currently due any day, she and her DH are favouring Evie as first choice, DP and I had decided on Edith nn Edie but have now looked for alternative names as although Edith is my absolute fave I don't want close cousins called Edie and Evie they'd be like a double act poor things!
I don't think you should be ignored by your SIL but do think it is a poor choice for your parents/ daughter/ brother etc.
I can't help wondering if there is more to it than you are telling us?

Kayano · 01/10/2011 19:26

Actually... I would prob try and ensure that the GP refer to yours as 'the other
One'

Blush
Chynah · 01/10/2011 21:16

Its bad enough that you have given your child such a popular name that there will be about 5 others in every class she will ever be put in but you have gone one better and ensured that a family member is also sharing her name!! Poor kid.

CheerfulYank · 01/10/2011 21:20

I'd be really irritated. Sorry!

Idreamofsunshine · 01/10/2011 21:22

Erm well I wouldn't be angry about it but I do think its an odd thing to do, sorry OP

othersideofchannel · 01/10/2011 21:49

OP, is this for real or a wind up? Surely you didn't really call your dd virtually the same name as your brother called hers? The whole point of NAMING someone is to IDENTIFY him/her! I agree with the poster above who said that hopefully your parents will refer to the second Evie as 'the second one' - I'd be furious too, sorry.

CharlieBoo · 01/10/2011 22:22

It would be a big issue for me... It's just a bit odd... Of all the names ... Especially girls names, and you chose Eve?!!

anniepanniepears · 01/10/2011 22:49

Iam called after my gran,and she had 7 daughters and 6 sons ,I have lost count of how many cousin that I have probally about 40

anniepanniepears · 01/10/2011 22:53

sorry posted to quick meant to say that is why I have 4 cousins with the same name as me

TooImmature2BDumbledore · 01/10/2011 23:02

I would be cross. I am ruling out variants of family names, even. Ie, even though I like Elise and Leonie, I have a sister and a niece called respectively Elspeth and Leonor, so they're off the table.

pocketfullofposies · 01/10/2011 23:07

DH wanted Isabella for DD2 but we decided against it in the end as my cousin has an Isabelle and I just felt that I wanted DD2 to have her 'own' name within the family, not most of someone else's, if that makes any sense?

So I wouldn't have done it on those grounds.

birdofthenorth · 01/10/2011 23:35

OP -congrats on your DD. Hope you're not upset by the strength of feeling on here though.

I'm afraid I's also be in camp furious though -it seems a very insensitive thing to do to your niece, your SIL & BIL, & the GPs.

I very deliberately avoided all names remotely similar to my nephews & cousins' children, even to my stepson's half sister on other side, even those who live in Australia, meaning I parked several names I otherwise liked. I didn't want anyone having to list their grandkids/ siblings/ cousins & sounding silly.

Plus All GPs struggle to get their grandkids names right sometimes- & you've made that s bit harder/ easier depending in which way you look at itSmile

No regrets, I found another lovely name & my family adore her. I'm guessing your SIL now won't be putting her new neice at the top of the special prezzie list every Christmas, which is s shame.

Honestly, up to you, bur I would probably apologise and/ or change the name.

Bur most of all, enjoy your DD

mathanxiety · 01/10/2011 23:46

I can sympathise with your SIL. There are millions and millions of other names out there. Literally millions.

Catslikehats · 02/10/2011 06:15

I agree with kayano - I would forever refer to you DD as "other Evie" (cos I guarantee that is what they will both come to be known as.

I don't think the OP will be coming back to this thread.

Thumbwitch · 02/10/2011 06:49

Well, I don't know. There were nearly 3 Davids in our family of the same generation - but sadly my Mum's 2nd baby didn't make it. So my uncle and aunt nicked the name for their son who was born a few months later. I don't know how bad it made my Mum feel - probably not that much in comparison with having lost her baby - but she didn't noticeably fall out with her BIL and SIL over it.

I wouldn't have done it - I gave one of my favourite girl's names to my sister (by accident) but since it looks like I may never have a DD myself it's probably not going to be an issue - but afaiac, that name is gone from my lists.

I think it's a bit close for comfort since they will have the same Grandparents - but it's done now, and your SIL will have to get used to it.

margerykemp · 02/10/2011 06:53

2 people in our family have the exact same first, middle and surname and yes i think the copycat parents are creepy for having done that esp without prior warning or apology.

allhailtheaubergine · 02/10/2011 06:57

I was being silly earlier when I said about my brother getting engaged to a woman with my name and me being furious. But actually, in practical terms it's worse surely?

We are the same age, when she marries my brother she might have the same surname as me. So my brother's wife will have the exact same name as me.

And yet no one is cross about it. So why is the cousin thing something to be furious about, but a sister in law wouldn't be?

Genuinely curious.

Iggly · 02/10/2011 07:06

Because, aubergine, your DB would be mad to spilt up with someone he wants to marry to spare your feelings. He fell in love with the person not the name and it's just unfortunate that it's the same as yours.

The OP however could have picked another name. It's smacks of copy cat or lack of imagination to me.

I'm not explaining very well but know what I mean.

PrincessFiorimonde · 02/10/2011 07:16

I wouldn't be furious, or cross, and I certainly wouldn't think that this would blight the relationship between your daughter and her cousin.

I have almost the same name as one of my cousins - her name ends in 'e' and mine ends in 'a', but otherwise the name is the same. And this has never been a problem for us or for our family.

I do know someone who has the same name as his son and his nephew, and maybe that's a bit confusing when someone in the family asks to speak to 'John' and three people might reply. But again, as far as I know, this hasn't led to any family tensions.

Congratulations on your baby, by the way.