Is this really an issue???

[Sim2]

My brother has a one year old called Eva..I have just called my daughter Eve- both girls have different middle and surnames yet my sister in law has fallen out with us!!!
Is this really an issue?!..surely it doesn't matter at all!!

You can ask opinions and still make your own decision!
I now appreciate it would have been an issue for some people- we are clearly in the minority though as I didnt fall out with them when they used a derivative of the name I wanted and choosing a name is a joint decision n that was the name my husband wanted despite me pointing out about her cousin!

'The grandparents don't mind nor do other family members'

Why didn't you say that in OP? This all started with the upset caused to a family member, SIL! Bit of a contradiction here - and a thread about an entirely invented situation.

But your DB ans your SIL do mind and they are the only ones who matter. did it honestly not occur to you to run it by them first and see the reaction, or did you decide to not bother in case the reaction was not the one you wanted?

It is not too late to change her name by deed poll.

How about Niamh? (Neve).

It sounds virtually the same as Eve, but it is a completely different name. A fair compromise I think.

I tend to agree with you OP, yes the names are similar, but even though there are loads of names out there you still have to go with the one that feels right.

She has another cousin called Niamh and that family are fine with it..

Fine with what? With you calling your DD Niamh (which would be silly, now, obviously ) or with Niamh and Eva? Which I agree is (a bit clunky but) less bad.

Oh, I see - fine with Eve and Niamh. Well, yes they rhyme, and I wouldn''t do it personally, but at least they are completely different names. So the poor family has a 'Neve' an Eve and an Eva to get their mouths around at family occasions. Bonkers of you to do that to yourself if you ask me. (which you did, remember. .)

To all the people who don't see the problem, how would you feel if your SIL gets married six months after you and picks out a virtually identical wedding dress to yours? Or chose the saem curtains, carpet, wallpaper and sofa?Would you not think that deeply strange?

It would be strange, yes - but would I be annoyed and never talk to my SIL? No. I just wouldn't get away with that rather childish behaviour in DH's family.

Well we don't know how long she is going to sulk for yet, so we? The baby is very little. Let's not assume she is not going to speak to the OP for years (or ever) over it. But let's acknowledge that she has a right to at least a bit of a flounce.

And let's stop focusing on the SIL. It's the DB who is annoyed too.

The business about people being confused as to which person they're talking about seems a bit over the top, surelyif the GPs want to refer to one or the other they say Eve or Eva? They have different numbers of syllables, and why the assumption that they'll both end up as Evie? The only Evies round here are shortened from Evelyn, or named Evie in the first place.

bubbaluv Honestly, christmas wasn't that complicated, we just added middle names or last names. Or if there were only two of us, Big X and Little X.

People are really overthinking the complications!

OP I'm glad you've come back and that you're sticking to your guns. I know the majority went against you here but I hope it helped a bit that some of us don't think it should be a big issue either.

It will probably be slightly confusing, but the confusion is not really the problem - the copying is the problem.

I gave my dd a very different name to my cousin's dd, who was born two weeks earlier. As it panned out we started calling my dd by a nickname (not one we had planned) that, while spelt quite differently to cousin's name, sounds similar, especially when said in their accent. So, it is a bit confusing when we talk and I often have to clarify which child we are talking about. But no one was annoyed ( I hope!) because it was never like I had stolen their name.

I had a friend fall out with me because I chose 'her' name she was going to call a boy. She then went and had two boys and called them something different, I moved area 5yrs later and haven't seen her since .. does it really matter if two people have the same name, wow

my son suits his name so much, should I really have called him something that was wrong just to please a stranger

I don't think your sil has any right to be upset, most people are flattered when you call your child the same name as them and she doesn't 'own' the name Eve. My family have always called their kids the same names, which makes the family tree very hard to figure out, but hey, you should call your children what you feel is right for them

Couldn't have said it better slinking.

OP, in answer to your question, yes it is an issue and if I was your SIL I would be miffed too.

If your DD has a cousin called Niamh and one called Eva then adding Eve into the mix is a little too confusing.

If I were you I'd change your DD's name to something totally different and just as lovely.

oh god yes, big Evie and Little Evie! I worked somewhere where there was 3 of us with the same name, I was the youngest, shortest and thinnest, so was 'little X' - but the one who got 'big X' was the largest woman I've ever met.

OP - I hope your DD doesn't run to plump, she might get called "big Evie" even though she's the youngest...

"The girls won't see each other that much and won't have Xmas together as both families are mixed religion and go to the in laws each year. The grandparents don't mind nor do other family members"

Well, your OP sounds very different as you say your sister in law has fallen out with you, so I assume she IS very upset about your decision.

I'm not quite sure how we can help you. You sound as though you've made up your mind and stick with your name choice regardless of the upset it causes to your sister in law and brother.

I ame expecting DD2 and liked the name Eliza but ruled it out because DH has a niece called Elise. Mentioned it in passing to SIL and MIL and they couldn't see a problem. As it happens we'd already decided to use something else but not everyone is bothered by such trivialities. Not as if either name is exactly rare, both girls would be tripping over classmates with the same name anyway.

OK, so I also seem to be in the minority here by thinking OP didn't really do anything wrong!! Maybe just to save a potential tiff (which has turned out to be the case), I would have mentioned it to my DB to guage reaction, but I still think, although very similar that they are 2 different names. Maybe if I had been greeted with complete horror, I would have rethought, just to avoid the upset but who knows!! I mentioned this to my own mum to see if she would think it strange or unmanageable and funny enough she thought she would manage to get it right!!! I have several siblings and my mother has several grandchildren and so we all get called by each others names sometimes accidentally. Do we not all do that & accidentally call our child by eg the dog's name sometimes?!? As OP pointed out, neither of these children have been named Evie & if their parents never have any intention of calling them that, then there's no issue!! Yes, they might go to school and be given a nn but they will be in a different year group and different schools most likely!! I think that while 'bitchy' wouldn't be the word I would use to describe some of the replies, that I do think that some are a little harsh!! A few people have very strong views on the matter and are very much entitled to them, and I know OP asked for opinions but I don't think she would ever have anticipated the outrage!!! Change the baby's name??? Catch a grip!!!! Hopefully this is something that OP & her DB and SIL can sort out because life is WAY too short and there are babies to be enjoying (regardless of their names)!! OP, congratulations on the birth of your DD and enjoy her!! Rant over!!

"To all the people who don't see the problem, how would you feel if your SIL gets married six months after you and picks out a virtually identical wedding dress to yours? Or chose the saem curtains, carpet, wallpaper and sofa?Would you not think that deeply strange?"

I honestly would not care no. I've offered to lend my wedding dress to several friends who got married, they'd have borrowed it too if it had fit. As for the sofas and stuff that wouldn't bother me either unless it was accompanied by other stalkerish behaviour. If it was just someone liking the same sofa as me why would I mind? If anything I'd be flattered they shared my taste.

Couldn't give a toss either. I don't live in other people's houses, I live in mine. Couldn't care less what sofa/wallpaper/curtains other people have.

This thread has entertained me if nothing else, there was clearly no point to it

Don't ask a question then get irritated with the responses. First we were bitchy and now we a rude!

Just for saying it would upset us and was a thoughtless thing to do that has obviously already caused upset

OP has your SiL said anything to you yet?

Did SIL ever respond to your 'nice email', OP?!