Is this really an issue???

[Sim2]

My brother has a one year old called Eva..I have just called my daughter Eve- both girls have different middle and surnames yet my sister in law has fallen out with us!!!
Is this really an issue?!..surely it doesn't matter at all!!

YABVU

I haven't really noticed anybody being bitchy tbh. And I agree with Seeker. You're acting as if your sil is being unreasonable by saying that 'there are more important things than a name' yet refused to contemplate another name because this name means so much to you. You're contradicting yourself whilst trying to justify yourself.

I'm sorry if you didn't find everybody agreeing with you that it's a non-issue. The fact is that it clearly IS an issue to your sil (and what about your brother?) but you are ignoring that and trying to blame her for over-reacting.

And you and your dh have created this problem by being thoughtless in the first place imho. At a time when you should be enjoying each other and your baby, you've caused unnecessary stress. It seems a shame.

What have the grandparents said? Did I miss that?

I would change it.

I dint think an email would cut it if it was me tbh, yet you expect her to call you ?

If there is more to life than a name, just change it IMO and stop dismissing her feelings. I also get te impression that you think she is BU when in all honestly I think it is you

It is not an issue. I see I am in the minority but I think it is fine, especially when you have tried to explain to her. I also think the tone on here is a bit harsh given you have just had a baby. I think Eva and Eve are actually fairly different anyway. I hope things work out for you. Perhaps you could consider changing the name if it is really going to cause a family rift but it sounds unnecessarily drastic given it is not actually the identical name.

Does nobody think that the fact the SIL called her baby Eva when she knew the OP and her partner wanted Eve is a bit off, though? I find that a bit mean, to be honest.

I have two cousins both named Margaret very close in age and neither was ever shortened-their parents were brother[dad of older Margaret]and sister [mum of other one].It was never an issue [1950's].

thereisalight, I see it as first come first served.

OP, congratulations on your new DD, but I am with the majority, and would be majorly peeved if my SIL/DB gave their child a name so similar to my DC.

Are you going to change it? Has your DD already been registered? You have up to a year to change it. The sooner the better for all concerned.

I once told my best friend (when I was PG with baby #1 and she was only just thinking about trying to get PG) that I wanted to call the baby Elliott if it was a boy. A few months later, she was TTC in earnest and told me if it was a boy it would be Elliott. [shocked] I was very pissed off to put it mildly, and felt like my baby had been hijacked! I went on to have a boy but I called him something else totally, something that I had not discussed with anyone. Exactly a year later she had an Elliott. I just went off the name once I knew there was a risk that she might copy me.

But OP unless you had been TTC at exactly the same time, and you had made it very clear that you wanted that name before she ever mentioned it, you are still BU. And even if you did, she had her baby before you were even PG.

OK - I see that, but what happened to 'no one owns a name'?

Well I think it very much comes down to who said it first and loudest, presuming they are actually PG! Why the OP thinks that vaguely mentioning she liked it a whole year or more before she ws even PG is justification I don't know.

If that was the case, her thread would say 'How horrid of my DB and SIL to pinch the name I said all along I wanted, for years and years, and they just snuck in under my nose and pinched it because they managed to conceive before me.'

But it didn't. She knows what she has done.

This is why I don't discuss future baby names with anyone close! And I just go by the first come first served thing for a child that is actually born, not one that is just wished for or in utero.

I agree no one owns a name, but within the family, especially in the same generation, people should know that a lot of people wouldn't like to share a name. I think it makes things confusing. Which Evie is granny talking about when she says such and such? I'd be a bit embarrassed if I were the GPs, to list my GC's names when they are Eve and Eva.

SIL was pg at the same time as us, due within two weeks of each other. If she used our preferred name, we'd have used something else. If we'd had our child first, and she'd gone on to name hers such a similar name, I'd be really annoyed. Though our names are lower down the charts than Eve/Eva, so would have been more of a copy.
Lots of names to choose from.

I can see both sides I suppose. I still think SIL sounds a bit sneaky. Probably, it would bother me if someone used a name I'd wanted to use, or one I had used. But I married into a family with lots of William, Matthews, Josephs, Lucies, Emmas and I actually discounted a name because there was already another grown up (in his 20s) cousin. The cousin said he wouldn't have minded at all but I suppose I thought my SIL might, so I didn't do it.

is she not worried about the 10 other eves that will b in dd's reception class? i not, she should probably get over herself

I haven't read the whole thread but I wanted to say that for me, this would not be an issue at all.

I really do not understand how people can be so precious about a name. In this case it's not even the same name FFS.

I have the same name as my cousin, with a slightly different spelling. Pronounced exactly the same. Never had a problem between our parents or with our shared grandparents. My cousin and I were quite close as children too.

Sorry you're getting such a hard time about this OP. Congratulations on the birth of your dd. Eve is a lovely name

Fellatio - 'If that was the case, her thread would say 'How horrid of my DB and SIL to pinch the name I said all along I wanted, for years and years, and they just snuck in under my nose and pinched it because they managed to conceive before me.' But it didn't. She knows what she has done.'

I don't buy this argument at all. The OP clearly doesn't mind them having similar names, so why would she have complained earlier about her SIL choosing a name she liked?

do the right thing - change the name

OP - you asked: 'is this really an issue???' and got a rather overwhelming response that yes, it is. It's not the end of the world, but it is an issue. People aren't, for the very most part, being bitchy; just answering your question. Are you surprised by the answers?

I honestly think you were being rather disingenuous to assume that this wouldn't bother most people.

If I were your SIL I wouldn't fall out with you over it, but I'll be honest, I'd be totally eye-rolling you behind closed doors and thinking it was all a bit petty/pathetic/cringey. You're the one who's going to come out of this the least-best, since you're going to look like the copy-cat, the one who couldn't even come up with an original name for a new family member.

I honestly don't mean these comments to come across harshly or bitchily, but a lot of people will have a, 'huh, odd choice' moment when they hear the name, and it's not going to be your DB/SIL that this reflects back on.

Aubergine - it's totally different. It's not as if your DB went out looking for someone with the same name as you; he met and fell in love with someone who happened to have the same name. The OP was obviously fully aware of her DN's name when she chose her DD's.

That sums the whole thing up perfectly Slinking.

For me this Would not be an issue at all. I honestly wouldn't care if my whole family gave their kids the same names as mine. I don't get why people think they have more of a right to a name than someone else. But then I come froma culture where we all have the same names anyway because we're named after grandparents. I must have at least 10 pairs of cousins with the same names.
OP, if it had been the other way round would you have cared?

But most of us on this thread obviously come from a culture where that doesn't happen, and it's a bit odd and irksome to say the least when it does!

It wouldn't have bothered me to be honest can't believe how precious people can be over names they r different names.

I really don't understand why you would want to name your daughter something so similar though.

I had the name Lucas picked out for a couple of years as a possible for a second DC if one ever came along, of course I never voiced it though. Then SIL had a son and called him Lewis.

When DS2 arrived I really thought the names would be too similar sounding so chose not to use it.

Did me a HUGE favour in fact since I discovered One Tree Hill, - that Lucas character - YeeeUK