Is it rude to knit while chatting to friends??

[KnittingKnewbie]

Hi all,
I'm new to the Arts and Crafts page 😁

I've recently re-started knitting. With two small kids I don't have lots of time to knit so it's usually a half hour watching tv in the evening.

I met up with friends for a girls day recently, we had tea and sat around and chatted.

I brought my knitting with me and asked if they minded if I knitted while we chatted and they said not at all, go for it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother who'd be a very good knitter. And she nearly died at the rudeness of me knitting while chatting. She couldn't believe I had done that and was horrified I was SO RUDE.

Was I? Is it a major faux pas??

I just thought as a busy person it was a good way to get a few rows in!

I guess everyone is different.
I am definitely a "need something to do" person. That's why I have never enjoyed going to pubs.
I would get there, get my drink and then be "ok now what - what are we doing " 🙂

@Beanie567 maybe the non knitters should bring their own crafts. Might may the conversation more interesting 🤣

A PP mentioned that it was irrelevant that women used to traditionally earn a living whilst doing this. But like you I've grown up around women doing this, my gran was a seamstress and would always have her hand finishing in her lap, my great aunt tatted and my mum sold her knitting. It has carried on, even though we no longer earn from it. Most of my family like to keep their hands busy. My auntie always has her knitting with her, I draw or doodle, or I have piece of blue tack that I model. If my hands are occupied then I concentrate on the chat more.

Knitting is only solitary if you are alone. If you sit next to someone whilst doing it, you are not solitary.

You can knit on your own or in company. It just depends if the company is the uptight type that stands on ceremony, or the comfortable type you can relax with.

I genuinely love this thread.

Knitters: go for it!
Non-knitters: oh my god. So rude!

A bit unfair @MidnightOnceMore to call people who might think differently to you on this 'uptight'.

I wouldn't do it and would like it if someone with me did it either. It feels like you're saying the person you're with isn't enough to hold your attention. Need to be doing something else to make it worthwhile kind of.

Unless it's a knitting group where everyone is knitting and chatting together. Then it's fine.

(Not a knitter but I do lots of crochet as a means of not having to talk to DH in the evenings)

This knitter thinks it's a bit rude.

Ooh crossing the line @SirChenjins 😁

I absolutely cannot chat over the radio, I think that's a lot worse than someone knitting.

If the people you're with when you're knitting feel it's rude, it's rude. If they don't, it's not.
They said they don't care so not a problem.

Don't knit while having coffee with your mum, who said she'd find it rude.

😂 wise words. I certainly won't be getting my knitting out in front of her again!

I'd love watching my friends knit or crochet or whatever - I'm rubbish at it so I find it fascinating! My friends and I sometimes have what we call "quiet time" when we're spending time together. We read or go on our phones or crochet (again not me) just while enjoying each others company and talking as much or as little as we like. We also do crosswords and puzzles together which I love.

Ok those who think it’s rude: you are looking at the world as though everybody functions the same way you do. For you, it’s physically possible to focus on a conversation without doing anything else.

For a lot of us who are neurodivergent it is simply not possible to focus in that way. If my hands are still and I am staring at you while appearing to listen earnestly, I have actually drifted off a while ago and am now thinking about something else but pretending to still be listening.

If my hands are busy (doodling, knitting, etc) then I am a thousand times more likely to be able to focus and follow the conversation and engage in what you’re saying.

If you think it’s rude for me to knit then either you haven’t understood fundamentals about how I function, or you’d prefer me to pretend to function like an average person even when that’s stressful and exhausting for me.

You're assuming those saying it's rude are either NT or don't have close relationships with those who are.

Not rude

I wish I could knit

@AbacusAvocado The OP has not said she has a disability, neurodivergence, tic or any other thing that means she MUST knit to concentrate!

Yes, there are people that need to keep that hands moving/distract themselves and in those cases- but I'm sure their friends are aware it helps them!

@SM4713 - out of interest, what proportion of middle aged women would you guess were assessed for neurodivergence in school or since? Vast majority of us don’t have a diagnosis, and vast majority of us don’t tell our friends about our neurodivergence. Lots of the knitters on here have shared that they can focus better if they keep their hands better - this is a classic neurodivergence symptom.

So we can't debate this any more because of neurodiversity 🤷🏻‍♀️

I never look at my work whilst knitting so cam fully engage in the conversation going around. It is often a great topic of conversation. I don't think it is rude at all. I have chairs in my shop so people can come and sit and knit when ever they want.

I'm like that although I usually knit fair isle and it would be a bit of faff taking all the balls of wool out. I can't just watch TV without knitting in my hands. Some people can read and knit but I'm not that good.

I’d think it weird - like your friends’ company isn’t enough. Surely you can put your knitting down for a bit?

Wish I could knit, or had any craft skills.

Whilst there are knit and natter groups, meeting a couple of friends for a coffee and you're the only one knitting seems a teensy bit off... almost like saying I might as well be doing something useful while I'm sitting here!

It's not rude in the overall scheme of things but a bit disengaged, sort of.

I'm neurodivergent, autism and ADHD diagnosed, and a crocheter. I still think it's rude.

It's interesting the ones that think its rude are very self absorbed in feeling the attention is taken away from them somehow