Is it rude to knit while chatting to friends??

[KnittingKnewbie]

Hi all,
I'm new to the Arts and Crafts page 😁

I've recently re-started knitting. With two small kids I don't have lots of time to knit so it's usually a half hour watching tv in the evening.

I met up with friends for a girls day recently, we had tea and sat around and chatted.

I brought my knitting with me and asked if they minded if I knitted while we chatted and they said not at all, go for it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother who'd be a very good knitter. And she nearly died at the rudeness of me knitting while chatting. She couldn't believe I had done that and was horrified I was SO RUDE.

Was I? Is it a major faux pas??

I just thought as a busy person it was a good way to get a few rows in!

I knit & crochet.

I do actually think it's a bit rude. It's not entirely muscle memory, you're still thinking about rows & changing stitch etc. not fully concentrating on the conversation.

also as a PP also said, asking a group if they mind is a bit pointless, of course they're going to say no, you've put them on the spot & they can't really say yes, they mind, without looking like a complete tool!!

@FutureMandosWife

just because you have a crochet hook & wool
kn your bag doesn't mean other people don't find it rude.

@Tessisme

Thsts it though really, other people want to feel your engaged with them, doing something together, not that you're away with the wool fairies instead.

I would agree if we watched something more interesting than Sponge Bob or knit if he insists on SB!! Fairs fair!!

A lot of my friends are knitters so it would be completely socially acceptable to knit in company in my circle. I do take my knitting to work as I have an hour long break so I can get heaps done and it's kind of forced socialisation and less rude than someone sitting on their phone.

Interestingly my son has ADHD and I show a lot of similar behaviours to him and if I'm not knitting when I'm talking to you I'm struggling to pay attention. I'm constantly distracted. If I am knitting a simple pattern I can hold a conversation much better and the busy part of my brain is distracted enough to let me concentrate. Similar to doodling during work calls or lectures.

However if a friend found it rude and said to me they thought it was rude I wouldn't knit.

Depends what your knitting. Last jumper knitted in the round , only knit stitch and no counting for the whole body.

That's an interesting view
Thanks for your thoughts.
It's always good to get the opposite point of view

I suppose its similar to fidget toys.

Good heavens! How on earth can it be rude? As for friends demanding my 100% attention, none of my friends are like that! We all knit or crochet so someone pulling their yarn out wouldn’t bother me one bit.
I knit socks on the bus, in the cafe, when a passenger in a car and never had anyone been offended 🙄
And oddly I can actually knit and give my friends full attention, knitting becomes automatic after so long!

Not rude at all. Things that would be rude in my book when meeting up for a chat, texting , talking or playing games on a phone or tablet, reading, singing or playing a musical instrument, performance parenting, excessive dog fussing.

( the jury is out on sewing or cross stitch but I suspect it will be 12 to 0 saying NO.)

I dont miss the point, my friends know me well enough to know that I there for them and knitting is just something i can do and give them my full attention. As previously said i wouldnt do it if it is complicated or needing my full attention because i would end up making mistakes, so not worth the hassle of having to undo and correct

I think the section you posted this in might giving you skewed answers.

I would find this pretty rude. It's no different to pulling out any other pastime while you're supposed to be engaging with someone.

But why would you? I would find that so weird and like it wasn’t enough to be in my company.

I guess if people have concentration problems and need to do something with their hands, I would understand it.

I crochet and watch TV. I rarely look at the hook and can talk at the same time. I wouldn't do it out a cafe, even with friends though. Even though I'd be 99% engaged, I'd worry that others would find it distracting and they might think that I wasn't listening/engaged. If someone else in the group was doing a repetitive movement- knitting, scratching, moving, twitching- It would drive me nuts because I WOULD be distracted by it.

I also agree that asking them if its an issue is pointless. Initially, they may be fine- but after a while, it can be distracting and perceived as rude.

@Draculina I find it easier to concentrate on a conversation by keeping my hands busy with simple knitting. I'm less likely to find myself distracted by something I can see through the window or my mind wandering. It's my way of grounding myself to focus more fully on what my friend is saying. My friends know this.

Not rude if you are still able to give the friends your full attention.

She is knitting on her own time - it’s called multitasking! I can knit stocking stitch in the dark. Hasn’t stopped me enjoying a film at the cinema while knitting. There was a time when my friends thought it weird if I wasn’t knitting (when hanging out indoors)

No, I think its quite companionable - almost like having the radio on in the background while you chat. Its certainly nowhere near the same league of rudeness as constantly checking your mobile while in company!

Exactly this. I can knit a basic stocking stitch sock with eyes closed (quite literally, I've tried it)

I often cast on a very simple hat or something to have as 'sociable knitting' for exactly this purpose

The complicated knitting stays at home, obviously

Also, none of my friends demand my 100% full attention during conversation because they're actually not toddlers and do understand the concept of multitasking

I absolutely agree with this ^.
and I had exactly this situation recently with a friend ( she needed to finish the thing by deadline).
I said yes, fine but inside I was quite upset about it. I had a lot of things going on but I put all of them aside to meet up with her for a quick cup of coffee so I preferred her to do the same. She’s a good friend so I let it go but it definitely affected the conversation.
Yours is even worse imo as you are not under deadline or anything so can just sit and chat with friends.

However I do think it’s fine to knit in public in general. So if all of you are knitting and chatting ( knitting group) or you are on a train on your own or you are waiting DC from a club and knitting to kill the time , yes, it’s absolutely fine.

It's traditional for women to craft and chat, especially in some communities, where they would be earning money from their work.
I doodle/draw, it actually keeps me focussed on the conversation and stops me fidgeting, plus I'm not the best with eye contact. I don't have the bandwidth to knit and talk though, so it's a skill I envy! I can't comprehend anyone thinking it's rude and surely friends just accept their friend's foibles?

You probably also think it very rude when people tell you to get over yourself.

I think rude might be in the eye of the beholder.

It depends entirely on the friends and the setting but it's not an automatic no no. It helps some people to pay more attention because it keeps their hands busy.

Are you my sister OP? Her knitting goes everywhere with her!