support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Brilliant news that you are feeling terrible Kittens! So glad you are feeling a bit calmer too, goes without saying we will be there on the bench for you come Wednesday.

That?s also super news about the scan Littlepoot ? I think you do just need to stamp your feet sometimes don?t you. I?m am feeling on a bit of a high yes but it still hasn?t really sunk in, still feel like I can?t quite relax about it either but hopefully that will pass. I?ve told a couple of close friends so far but I think I will mostly keep it quiet a little while longer? just so we can digest the news properly and enjoy it ourselves first.

It?s my last day at work today so am officially an unemployed bum come 5pm! I?m actually really looking forward to having a bit of time off as I?m wiped out right now and to top it all off I have a really bad cold. Going to start contacting some schools next week though to try and sort some volunteering out so I?m looking forward to that.

Hope you all have lovely weekends, anyone up to anything nice? Shangrila I hope you are ok and the baby makes an appearance very soon! xxxx

p.s Longtime lovely if you drop by from time to time it?s always good to hear from you, thanks for looking out for me

Brilliant news that you've got all that sorted now LittlePoot. It can go some way to relieving the anxiety can't it?

I"m rather embarrassed to say that I've just worked out why I never heard back from my midwife - erm, I just found my email in my drafts folder! So, me being paranoid about her not answering because she didn't want to commit to giving me reassurance was unfounded. D'oh! I'm not going to email her now though. I will wait and see what transpires.

Wow - only 25 minutes left for you at work Katiecubs! I'm actually a bit jealous....I love the idea of not working. Although obviously until I win the lottery I don't get to dwell too much on that. Tonight's the night, I can feel it.

ha ha good luck with that LittlePoot! Do you know i play the lottery online and i always feel a bit disappointed when I check my email come Monday and I haven?t won ? got 4 numbers once but it was a measly £42. I?m convinced I?m going to win it one day though!

Right T minus 1 minute and I?m outta here!! Have fun xxx

Yay! I won! The grand total of.........wait for it.......£6.20! Not sure it's quite enough to retire on, but hopefully a step in the right direction. Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend. xx

Littlepoot, not sure how your £ fares in relation to the Aussie $ so can't advise re: retirement plans, but good luck with that!

Katie, hope you're enjoying a bit of a rest and all the best with your new endeavours. (I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets genuinely dissapointed when they don't win lotto, like I honestly fully expect to win)

Kittens, hopefully your email boo-boo was just another pg symptom known as baby-brain

Hope you are all enjoying your weekend xx

Sorry not been posting, still crap with cold which has now moved into my chest. I hate being pregnant and ill (or ttc and ill - I don't think I've had any medication other than paracetamol for 3 years now...).

Anyway - Katie; hope your weekend has been good and not too surreal, you've had a pretty life-changing few months to deal with... perhaps there's a sense of things changing for the better now? Worth getting that lottery ticket anyway!

Mishtabel - really hope the hospital are doing all they can to give you confidence in their treatment of Bella and ensure you get a good monitor to go home with when the time comes; can understand your fears too and the need to hold it in. Hope you manage to get a safe place for that soul-releasing cry.

Everyone else, sorry not up to thinking/remember what's going on, but hoping you're all well and having gentle weekends.

Off to have a hot toddy, sod the 'not drinking alcohol'! xx

Hi numpty good to hear from you! have also been full of cold lately - saturday i just lay on the sofa all day, i couldn't even move i was that exhausted (i think it was a combination of the cold, stress of leaving work and obviously being pg!)

Lots better today though - a beautiful day here in london and i feel like the weight of the world have been lifted off my shoulders (will all change soon when the £ starts to run out!)

How is everybody else? Littlepoot and Kittens how are you feeling? Hope you are enjoying your littleones Lins and Mishtabel xxx

(I think Kittens may be hiding a little? Scan due on 3rd Feb, same date as Allstars' scan. Ladies, if you're reading, thinking of you. I've got my (probably/perhaps/hopefully final) scan for reassurance tomorrow morning...)

Ah perhaps you are right Numpty. If you are reading am also thinking of you Kittens and Allstar and sending lots of positive scan vibes your way.

Good luck to you too Numpty - hoping you come out mega reassured and relaxed which i'm sure you will!

Aww, thanks gals. I'm not really hiding. I've either been out or knackered over the weekend so only popped in for a quick 'lurk'. I'm doing ok, have managed to stay calm. What will be will be really. It's not been doing me much good getting my knickers in a twist for something I have no control over and may be perfectly fine (I hope). I have been feeling sick, hungry, extremely thirsty and stupidly tired of late so fingers crossed that's all good stuff although can't take that for granted. At least my irrational paranoia as to why my midwife hadn't answered my plea for reassurance was unfounded and nothing more than the result of me being away with the fairies.

It's been a right bugger that I've not had any work in january to keep my mind occupied. It's often a pretty bleak month. I had my first client of the week on Saturday. Typically, this week I was supposed to work tomorrow but it's been rescheduled be 3 weeks, as has another job that was possibly this week - the only day I've been asked to work this week is Wednesday - bloody sod's law! I'm going to have to do some serious hustling this week.

Best of luck for tomorrow Numpty, I will come and hang out on the bench in my big furry leopard coat.

Katie, I bet you're still pinching yourself! Have you started telling people yet or are you going to wait a bit?

Good luck to Allstars too for your scan on Wednesday. I hope we reconvene on here with good news from both of us.

Cantdo, how are you getting on?

Shangrila, quietly hiding with a giant urn of Raspberry tea, hot curry and a pineapple?

New mums, blissfully cuddling? Or wincing with sore nips?

Hi all,

Good luck for Wednesday Allstar and Kitten - big day on this thread. I know how horrible the run-up to scans feels and I hope you can relax tomorrow in advance of it.

I wrote this on the other thread but it seems apt to repeat here - met someone today anxious about anomaly scan in case it turned out the baby was a boy when she wanted a girl. She even used the word 'desperate'. I was so tempted to say that I went to the anomaly scan terrified my baby would have a condition incompatible with life, but it isnt fair to project that across. I guess it's good that most people live in blissful ignorance of the horrors.

Katie, bet you are having a nice rest! LittlePoot good news about the scan. And hi to everyone else.

Thanks for the wishes girls. I am in the dreaded pre-scan doldrums. I am expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I wish I could somehow capture the positive feeling I have after each test/scan/result and then portion it out equally in the days before the next test/scan/result. At least then I would not be a jumping bunny one day or a gibbering wreck the next. IYSWIM.

Numpty Hoping it all goes well for you tomorrow.

Kittens I have a really positive feeling about Wednesday. Lets hope we can come back and share some virtual champagne with the others and our good news.

I have been lurking lots. It is really nice to come along and know that even if I am not participating I am not forgotten. It means a lot to me.

I will be thinking of you all and will update you on Weds with my news.

Wave to everyone else.

Thanks girls . I'll have DH with me and it's with the fetal medicine team, so they'll know me and I'll know them, makes a difference... xx

Numpty, is this your anomaly scan? are you 20 weeks now?

Allstars, I so know what you mean about the scans. I become a jibbering wreck before each one too....

Well last week, while I was madly dodging the unecessary dating scan (I've already had 4 scans so SURELY they must know the date by now ) I was told that this is a 'detail' scan, as I'm only 18wks. The anomoly scan is 20wks. Goodness knows what the difference is; as it is, if tomorrow goes OK I don't think I'll be given any more scans (unless I request them, which I don't think I will) and will just revert to hands-on midwife care as I had with DS. Which suits me fine - I'd rather think that things are normal after tomorrow!

I'm just glad they had a good look at 14wks and saw the brain division was OK, heart with 4 chambers, spine & thigh bones etc; they seemed pretty confident that all would be well. Obviously I know from your own sad experience, Cant, that it's not always the case, so I'm not completely relaxed... but I'm feeling OK about it.

Must have been v hard for you to bite your tongue earlier though when someone was stressing about what sex the baby is, not whether they'll be OK or even actually live... I was that innocent once, though (not that I ever stressed about what sex DS was going to be ). A bit like the time 3 days after Iola's funeral when a mum acquaintance who knew nothing about it asked me when I was thinking of trying for another baby. It's just innocence, unthinking but uncomprehending...

Numpty, the odds of what happened to me are very very low, so you are right to be okay about the scan today. And exciting to be ready for normal midwife-led care. Good luck today!

All OK! so I'm now signed off into normal midwife care (hopefully getting the lovely one I had last time). With any luck won't be at the hospital again until wk40 appointment (unles it's to see around the new delivery unit). Now I just need to look forward to my first midwife appointment in March and hopefully a very boring uneventful pregnancy .

Thanks for being on the bench, girls . I'll be there for you tomorrow, Allstars and Kittens...

Oh fantastic Numpty - I'm so pleased for you. That's great news. x

Wow, congratulations. Hopefully you can relax a bit. Here's to a boring regular pregnancy.

I am so happy to read another good post.

Brilliant news Numpty i am so happy for you!! hoping you can now relax and enjoy the rest of your boring run of the mill pregnancy

Kittens can see Jan must be an annoying time work wise but fingers crossed it will pick up soon! Still haven't really told many people my news - i'm scared to for some reason! I think its partly because i didn't really tell people what happened last time so i feel i will have to come clean about it all which will be quite hard.

Anyway best of luck with the scans tomorrow girls be sure to let us know how it goes - i'm thinking good things!

Can't do you have any more scans coming up or are you all done now too? only a couple of months left i guess - exciting! xxx

Fantastic news Numpty. V pleased to hear you can now relax.

I was supposed to be doing hustling for work today but one of my freelance friends invited me over which was a very welcome diversion. I couldn't really concentrate on work stuff anyway. My anxiety is creeping back in. Will let you know how tomorrow goes.

Great news Numpty and you sound incredibly relaxed!

Good luck tomorrow, Kitten and Allstars. Kitten, all diversion is good I think. Best not to think about it if you can... cos anxiety is horribly debilitating, and the waiting is bad enough.

Katie - I don't think you need to tell people about last time. Just if you want to - no need to give details you don't feel like giving.

Me, I am happily remaining in consultant-led care having scans every 4 weeks. (I've had this since the start). I think I differ from the rest of you as one of my fatal pregnancies was a developmental, not a chromosomal, problem. Which inevitably makes me anxious that another developmental problem could crop up.

Thanks for your celebrations girls! I do feel much more relaxed now; a big part of that is because for me, the hurdle was the 15/16wk mark (and that 14wk scan in Jan) as they were where all the memories of last time lay. Really thinking of those of you whose hurdles were further into pregnancy, I cannot imagine how terrible it must be to lose a baby after this stage. I'm really glad you are getting continued care, Cantdo, sounds like just what you need. And also Allstars - will you be getting consultant-led care? Hope BigMomma got on OK with her appointment at the UCH...

And Allstars and Kittens, I will definitely be there on that bench thinking of you tomorrow at your scans. I hope you have people with you to hold your hands. And we'll be here for you when you get back, too. LittlePoot do you have a date for your scan yet???

As for telling people, well, neither DH or I feel particularly rushed to do that. We discussed it after the scan - after all we now have every reason to believe we WILL be having another child. But somehow to tell people about this pregnancy brings up the memories of telling people about the last, and I'm just not sure I want to go there. So I have the feeling it will become VERY obvious I'm expecting and people will reach their own conclusions (or learn about it from the Christmas letter/card ).

Hoping all is well with everyone else, and wishing Lins and Mishtabel many cosy cuddles with their little ones (and hopefully boobs that are less sore...).

Feels almost a little odd that my next hospital appointment is at 40kwks... xxx

Hooray - quick update from Shangrila on the other thread (thread 5) and she had a little boy on monday (shakes Tree's labour pom poms in celebration!)