support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Hi Katiecubs

Just wanted to say hope all goes well tomorrow. I'll be popping back to see! Hugs, Longtime

Hi Longtime, thanks for dropping by and thinking of me

Not sure how i am feeling about tomorrow, have moments of panic but keep trying to tell myself the odds are on my side - i know they are but it does'nt feel like it. Feel better knowing everyone is hopeful and crossing their fingers for me though - thanks!

Hi Misthabel, always feel free to drop by, we need stories of hope like yours. Hoping you get your cuddle with Bella very soon.

p.s glad the doctor was helpful Littlepoot and i hope you get the scan sorted soon!

Hi Mishtabel, very sweet of you to pop in and give support when you have so much on your own plate at the moment. I hope Bella Rose is doing well.

I am really struggling to stay positive at the moment. I didn't sleep well last night and am so anxious it ridiculous. I don't feel like I have many symptoms at the moment, even my boobs are not really hurting. Just getting the crampy feelings and having flashbacks of my trip to spain when I had my last miscarriage. If the cramps carry on I may go and make a nuisance of myself at the EPU.

Katie, best of luck tomorrow. I really hope it is the happy occasion it should rightly be.

oh kittens i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better, not sure how much use i am anyway soon as i am feeling so anxious too.

I would try not to worry too much about the symptoms though, most people say they come and go and in my case they have only really been consistent in the last couple of weeks.

If the cramps are really worrying you though i would definitely go down the EPU and make a fuss until they see you xxx

Hi everyone.

Good news on the scan, Allstar. I totally get why you can't completely relax. To be honest I am now 28 weeks and still not relaxing. But every scan is another hurdle crossed, a big hurdle.

Kitten - one big advantage of my 2 horrible experiences was that in both cases the full extent of the trauma was instantly evident, ie both times the scan showed there was likely to be no hope the baby could live. So I have no advice on uncertainty and I can imagine it's really hard to wait and hang on. I think if you're cramping, you should call the EPU. If not and they wouldn't see enough at this stage to help, then it's just going to be more waiting. V frustrating and stressful. Could they do an internal scan at this stage and see if the baby has grown?

LittlePoot, good news on the consultant's note and your symptoms.

Katie, good luck for tomorrow. Will you get the blood results tomorrow too?

Kitty - Bee here - I know that overwhelming anxiety darling. It is normal. I think the funny cramping is also normal in pregnancy oddly as the hormones get going and do their thing.
Honey - think popping to EPU is not such a bad thing however. Might make you feel better.
I am thinking of you darling - I really am. Hang on in there okay?
Bee x

Whew - busy thread again tonight.

Not sure if I can reply to everyone as I can't seem to think or write properly.

Katie - will be thinking of you tomorrow, I've got my booking appointment then too but no scan (that's next Tues). Luckily I'm booking into a different hospital from last time which makes it easier; it's horrid going back somewhere you associate with bad memories. I really hope you get GOOD news this time, though I know it will be harder to believe.

Kittens - thoughts with you too in this time of such uncertainty and anxiety.

And thinking of all others anticipating/dreading scans in the next week or so...

xx

Morning all.
Katie - all my very best wishes for you this morning and I am hoping so hard that the results come out as they should. I'll be thinking about you and most definitely 'on the bench' outside (more like on the steps if you're at UCH) cheering you on.

Kittens - I second others' advice here and suggest you do go to the EPU. You're not making a nuisance of yourself (although you should if they don't take you seriously!)and you should do everything you need to do to try and get some reassurance.

Hope everyone else is well. Will pop across to the other room - am hoping for some good Shangrila news.... xxx

Katie - Hope it all goes well this morning.

Must dash....

Morning everyone thanks so much for thinking of me! I was in such a state this morning but am so pleased to report scan was all good! Baby looked very healthy and everything was in the right place. Had nuchal measurement and bloods and my risks came out as 1:12,000, 1:45,000 and 1:125,000 for the tree main trisomy?s so very low risk by all accounts

Really hoping there are many more positive scans to come on this thread so will be waiting on benches for all of you too when the time comes ? thank you again xxx

Oh Katie - that's fantastic news! I'm so happy for you. What fabulous looking numbers! I really hope this helps you to be able relax and finally get excited about being pregnant. That's really made my day. xxx

Oh Katie, what fantastic news. I'm so pleased to hear it.

I'm feeling a bit calmer today. My cramps didn't last too long yesterday and I was happily reacquainted with my breakfast this morning . I'm going to sit it out as much as possible before resorting to the EPU. My inital thought was, as cantdo said, was that even if they can't see a heartbeat yet they could see if it had grown since last week.

Sorry to get so hysterical yesterday. I'm up and down like a bleedin' yo-yo right now but most importantly I just need to try and keep myself busy.

All being well, the lady I saw last week said I could either wait 'til 12 weeks and have my nuchal scan or just go straight for a CVS at 11 weeks. I think I might do the latter. I think I will only relax once I have conclusive confirmation that there will be no chromosome issues and a CVS is the only way for me to know 100%. Having been struck by the same lightning bolt twice in a row I think the extra reassurance may be necessary. I've had 2 already without any problems and being self employed I am in a position where I can make sure I can take it VERY easy the day or two afterwards. The 1% risk of miscarriage is so much lower than any of the other risks I've had to deal with over the last few years.

Thanks Littlepoot and Kittens

So glad you are breathing a little easier today Kittens and glad you threw up your breakfast too (if you know what i mean!)

Littlepoot did you hear any news about your early scan yet?

Katiecubs, what brilliant news!!! Yay!! Such a relief and a reassurance. Well done to your little bean!! xxx

Kittens, hang in there. Hope you are managing to keep a weeny bit of food down.

Hello to Allstars and littlepoot, numpty and all. xxx

Yay! Still chuffed to bits for Katiecubs!

And pleased you're feeling better (/worse) kittens. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that's a great sign.

I've got to wait another couple of days before my forms make it to the hospital and then I can take up the battle again. I'm feeling much more confident about it now given that it's written in black and white from my GP and FMU consultant. His letter also says I could go straight for (nuchal and) CVS at 11 weeks and 3? 5? days(hence need for early dating) and I also think I might do that. Although if there was any possibility of seeing the lovely numbers Katie just got then maybe that would be enough to reassure me....

I'm working on two massive projects with another organisation at the moment and the guy who was leading (on their side) has just retired. I've just found out his replacement is pregnant, leaving in June and her replacement is also pregnant, leaving in July. So they've told me I'll need to take on the bulk of the work. God, I hope that's not the case! xx

Katie - I'm glad it all went well, sounds like they gave amazing service if you were scanned, bloods taken and a combined result given ALL in the space of a morning! And what reassuring results, I'm so glad for you .

Kittens - good news that the cramping has stopped again; it is so horrid when you're not sure what is happening.

LittlePoot - did you get a date yet via the doc? It's really nice that your consultant had taken the trouble to send a letter asking for you to be treated with consideration, although it's a shame that the hospital themselves didn't seem to be aware of that (after your last attempt to get a scan).

BigMomma - all quiet from you, all OK?

Allstars - is your next scan next week?

I got a panic today. Went to book in and was then told to go off to the epu for a scan - which I wasn't expecting, given I have one next week. 'Why?' I asked. 'It's a dating scan' I was told. 'But at the scan on 6 Jan Proff C said the due date was 30 June - isn't that on the notes?'. I just didn't feel prepared to go to a scan on my own, given the last times have been very rocky. So they consulted, but Sister felt that I should still go. So off I went, but got a bit teary on the way. The scan reception had a busy waiting area, and I just couldn't face sitting there on my own waiting to be seen, so I asked if I could go for a walk and come back. I think they then realised I wasn't comfortable being there, and I explained about the earlier scans - so they agreed that I didn't need a scan after all.

And just to think that first time around I probably would have been happy to sit and wait to see baby on my own.

At least next week I'll have DH with me. There is a big part of me that feels/trusts all is OK, but it's the little scared part that isn't quite sure that needs her hand held for scans now...

x-post LittlePoot - good luck with getting your scan date, hopefully that FMU letter will speed the way. I was advised not to have CVS because of my earlier bleeding, but would have had an amnio if I wasn't reassured by the nuchal results, so I think you can take it a step at a time.

And what a time they are going to have of it at your work - !!!

Yes Numpty - hopefully my work are going to have to deal with quite a spectacular exodus. I do hope I'm not going to be here to deal with it, that's for sure.

I'm not surprised you didn't want to go for the scan on your own, unprepared. I lost it at the GPs on Monday even, so there's no way I could manage the scan on my own. Don't suppose I'll be at my best with hubby with me either, but I'm so buoyed by Katie's good news that I'm a bit more optimistic now. It's just weird - I don't feel 'pregnant', I feel like I'm in some other limbo place. And the bad thing about 'limbo' is that the 'decision' on whether this bean is going to make it has already been made, it's just that I won't find out for another maybe 6 weeks. I guess it's because I've never actually been past the 12/13 week point so I'm not identifying with pregnancy at all yet. I just so want to get excited - I can't wait to be able to get excited - but I'm keeping a check on it all in case this is as far as I'm going to get. I'm very aware (although fortunately through experience of friends, not my own) that I'm not past the point when a miscarriage gets any less likely either and I don't want to imagine having to cope with losing another one by any means. But I can't imagine not losing it either, if you see what I mean.

Sorry - it's been a long day of meetings and I'm tired and emotional (and getting a bit self-indulgent). And everyone around me is pregnant and excited and I'm desperate to join them (you don't count Katie - I'm really pleased you're pregnant and excited! Not that I'm not for everyone else - you know what I mean). But terrified in case I'm back to square one in a few weeks time.

Thank you Numpty and Lins. Lins i hope the lovely Franklin is still lovely as ever!

Numpty, i would have been exactly the same if i was you, there is no way i could have had a scan on my own. I refused to even look today until the sonographer had done all the measuring and said it was ok. My OH saw much more than me and just kept squeezing my hand. Glad you got it all sorted in the end anyway and you will have DH with you next time.

Littlepoot i could have written exactly what you did. So hard the not knowing - the wanting to be excited but not daring. Even after my good news today i don't know how i feel - perhaps it will just take a few days to sink in, perhaps it never will until i have a baby in my arms i don't know. I'm sure being optimistic can only help though, so keep thinking positive thoughts xxx

Congratulations Katie! what a relief.

Glad you are feeling better, Kitten. The vomiting must be a very good sign. I'm glad you have hope again.

Numpty, can't do scans on my own either. The fear never goes away...

I'm so pleased and relieved that all went well Katiecubs. I must admit that I shook and cried all through my 12 with scan with my dd (while my usually very supportive dh stood on the other side of the room - I think maybe he was scared to get too close to the screen too). I didn't want to tell you that before though!

Well I'll be popping back now and again to say hello if that's okay and to see that you're okay. More hugs ((()))

Bugger, just lost post for first time. Just wanted to quickly say what great scan results Katie. Fantastic numbers! Was wondering how high numbers can go to?

Also to Numpty, Kittens, Allstars and Littlepoot; wishing time passes quickly for you all til your next scan/next chance of reassurance

thinking of you girls xxx
(and yes, where is BigMomma?)

there, I think the message I lost kinda went like that

You'll be pleased to know that after feeling seriously queasy and headachey for the last 2 days I'm a bit calmer at the moment and will try to remain so until Wednesday.

Haha, now you know how I came up with my name!

Hope everyone else is doing ok today and looking forward to the weekend.

Mishtabel, so lovely to hear of the progress your little Bella is making. It must be wonderful to hold her whenever you like now.

Lins, how are you getting on with your little man?

ps. any news from Shangrila?

Hi kittens - really glad you're feeling a bit happier. I'm constantly symptom checking too - in my case a quick check to make sure my boobs are still hurting! Anything for a bit of reassurance. Hope you've got lots of lovely things planned for the weekend to help the time until next Wednesday pass more quickly.

Good news for me - I called the hospital again today and spoke to possibly the best receptionist in history. She again started by telling me that 'we don't do that' blah blah blah, but when I explained that I'd spoken to every department in the maternity hospital before and they all told me someone else did it, she got the senior midwife to sort everyone out and now I have an appointment! It's not until the 16th - so I'll be about 9 weeks, but that's ok. And the midwife, who I now love, also sorted out exactly how the results of that will go down to the fetal med peeps to make sure the nuchal is booked asap. Now why couldn't they have just done that the first time?!

How are you doing now Katiecubs? Are you on a high or are you still a bit stunned by it all? Hope you're ok anyway. Have you started sharing the good news?

Am loving the Bella updates Mishtabel and am really pleased she's doing so well. And hope you and Franklin are still doing well Lins. Fingers crossed for Shangrila - hope time isn't passing too slowly... xxx