support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Good to hear your appointment went well Mimsy. It's reassuring to know there isn't an underlying problem.

I still haven't had my appointment through. I have a feeling my (usually very efficient) doctor forgot to send my referral because the receptionist looked a bit blank when I went in there to check the other week. I'm going to see him on Monday so will have to ask him then. I so wish I'd got the appointment before I got pregnant again. I'm so anxious at the moment. It doesn't help that, being pregnant, I am also over emotional and paranoid but I have to admit I am struggling a bit right now. I went to a class at Dermalogica yesterday and there were two quite visibly pregnant ladies there and all I could think about was "I don't even know if I'm ever going to look like that". I sort of felt like a fraud, like I don't really qualify to label myself pregnant because I may "fall out of the game" before long. That probably doesn't make sense and sounds like the biggest load of nonsense but then I'm not feeling at my most rational at the moment. I'm not even 6 weeks in yet, I wonder how I'm going to get through the next 6 without loosing it?

How are you feeling Crazycatlady? Better than me I hope!

Meant to say LittePoot, that's great news about your friend.

Hi Kittens (and Crazycat)

I think those first few weeks are very nerve-wracking (obviously you know that anyway). I can see how you might wonder if you will ever look like the other pregnant women, and it is SO hard to keep hope, to think that yes, it IS entirely possible. I think that not entirely acknowledging you are pregnant is a natural way of trying to protect yourself from the potential of loss.

Perhaps it would be easier just to focus on you, and the next hurdle each time? I think that's what I did - and it came as a surprise when I got beyond my 15wk hurdle, and could suddenly contemplate that perhaps there WAS going to be a baby at the end. Just try and get through the days as best you can, one day at a time. Treat yourself for each day passed, perhaps - or lose yourself in comfort fiction/TV that is escapist? The days WILL pass.

Lots of hugs, xx

Oh Kittens - I know exactly what you mean. I remember last time feeling that I wasn't actually pregnant, I was in some kind of 'pre-pregnant' state which I wouldn't 'graduate' from until I got through a nuchal scan successfully. Other people get pregnant, I just get to this 'almost pregnant' place, and then back to not pregnant again. In some ways, that 'almost pregnant' part felt worse, because there was nothing you could do about it - at least if you're not pregnant you can be TTC. Once you hit 'almost pregnancy', all you can do is wait. So I think I understand exactly where you're coming from. Although that probably doesn't help! It just means we're both a bit nuts.

As for how you (and CrazyCat) are going to make it through the next few weeks, the only thing I can suggest is to write it all down here and let us try and help you take the strain a bit. I'll do my best to catch you up (sticks worked fine by the way - just have to keep my fingers crossed that the little swimmers have hit their target this time), but either way I'll try and come up with something useful to say along the way!

In the meantime - I hope everyone is out and enjoying the sunshine! Speak to you soon. x

Thank you for the rallying ladies! I think the best term for what I am feeling is "Pregnancy holding bay"! Will be asking my doctor lots of questions this afternoon. I keep reading on various forums about people having regular blood tests to check the hgc levels are rising appropriately. I wonder if my doctor would consider doing this for me. He is the head of the ante-natal clinic at the surgery so he should be more sympathetic to my situation.

Fingers crossed for you LittlePoot. Although I don't want to put pressure on you. I remember you saying you found the "TTC Buses" a little competitive so I don't want to be bugging you every months with "So...? Are you pregnant yet? I do hope you get to share the journey with your friend though, as well as the rest of us.

I didn't end up going to the party at the weekend as I had a day of completely exhausting clients who talked at me constantly. The party had already been in full swing for about 5 hours before I would have been able to get there so I'm glad I didn't go. Especially when my other half said to me "You would've hated it. There was a lot of really annoying and stupid drunken behaviour. Including from me!" - Phew! Lucky escape

kittens/poot, you have both articulated just exactly how I'm feeling this morning. This 'almost pregnant' existence is mind boggling to say the least.

I gave my seat on the tube this morning to a lady with a gorgeous big bump and suddenly felt this huge wave of anticipation - will I ever be like her? And overcome with sadness too that I would have had a lovely big bump by now too if we hadn't had to say goodbye to our boy.

I've been feeling pretty ok these last few days, which is worrying me of course...

Numpty thank you for your kind words and advice on getting through this early no mans land of pregnancy.

kittens I hope it goes well with the doctor this afternoon. I'll be here waiting in the Holding Bay for when you get back! xx

How many weeks are you Crazycatlady? I am 5+5. I don't have many symptoms yet either. I do get very tired and thirsty and occasionally get the shakes but that's all at the moment. No sore knockers yet (sorry, I REALLY hate the word boobs!). I do, like you, find myself worrying that if I don't have very noticeable symptoms then something is amiss but have to keep reminding myself that it's still very early days. It's hard though as I hardly had any symptoms last time and then found out that the baby had stopped developing at 5 wks so paranoia is inevitable.

The one funny thing I did notice last week was that when I was at my Dermalogica class last week was that I had to give up writing notes because I couldn't write properly! I kept missing out words and getting all my letters the wrong way around. That was when I realised that after worrying about my tiredness disappearing for 5 days or so it had come back with a vengeance!

I'm not sure exactly but I think I'm only just 5 weeks, so very early for symptoms! Nips are a bit nippy, and feeling quite tired - but DD was up very early this morning and I've been to the gym before work so that could be why.

Funny what you say about writing - I've had the same problem trying to get words out of my mouth today - for some reason whole sentences are beyond me!

Really quick post as I have not really caught up since being away!

Kittens, great news. I am so pleased for you.

Everyone else, I will read and post a response.

Things here with me are fine. Baby loved sunshine and my stretchmarks loved it too! I feel so refreshed having had a holiday. It was wonderful to spend some time away from home and actually talk to DH again. Feel like I am finally ready for arrival.

Hope you are all well.

Thank you allstars. Good to hear from you. I was wondering where you'd got to. So pleased to hear you are feeling revived! How long have you got to go?

Crazycat and Kittens (sounds like a band name!) - first time I was pregnant I had very sore boobs, was the main indicator, but had no sickness other than a couple of queasy days. Second time (with lost DD) I was absolutely exhausted; I think boobs were slightly sore but not much to notice and no sickness. This time I don't recall having much in the way of symptoms, I don't think my boobs were very sore and although I felt tired it wasn't much. And only some queasiness. So don't fret for lack of the same symptoms as you had previously, your body may not respond the same way each time. It does make it harder though, not having anything concrete/physical to measure it by...

DH is champing to get onto laptop so better go.

Allstars - so glad you had a good holiday, you are sounding very much more relaxed .

xx

Gulp, pink discharge.... should I be worried?

oh kittens, I've just had exactly the same thing. Not very much but since I have no real symptoms to speak of, and I definitely did have some symptoms last week, I'm now in the worried camp

v briefly - Kittens and Catwoman- I had that with three of my four pregnancies. Two of the three ended badly but nothing to do with discharge. The third pregnancy ended with the baby feeding here as I type.

Midwife told me always to get it checked out. Had early scans with the first two. Do see GP/midwife - not sure how far along you are or if a scan is viable at this stage but just wanted to say pink discharge can be bad but it can also be nothing - you cant tell at this stage.

I'm thinking positive thoughts for you two - you deserve some good luck now. And I was told this discharge was v common.

Thinking of the rest of you too although never get chance to post!

PS - as Numpty says I have had different symptoms with all my pregnancies. And with DD1, the nausea didnt kick in till 7 weeks... so dont think too much about symptoms early on...

I think it's settled now. I'm trying to be rational and put it down to "burrowing" or other changes in my uterus. I think it's too early to see anything much on a scan right now. I do have one next Wednesday anyway, so if it hasn't settled by tomorrow I will email my midwife and if it has I'll try and calm down and wait 'til next week.

Catlady, we are only a few days apart so maybe it's common at this stage and is happening for very normal reasons. With regards to your symptoms, I was initially worried because after the initial few days of extreme tiredness and thirst which prompted me to do the test in the first place those symptoms seemed to wane for a few days but they did come back. Every day is different for me at the moment. Some days no symptoms at all, some days sudden tiredness, some shakey. I think (hope) that's normal!

Like you, it wasn't very much. Just with one wipe (tmi - after a poo - ie. straining!), the second wipe was actually normal colour. I think I am definitely subject to slight hysteria and am trying to reign it in. I shall go and get a paper bag to breath into! I had a seriously hungry day the day before yesterday so I'm trying to read that as a good sign.

Thanks for your reassurance cantdo, it's lovely of you to post even though you must be super busy.

Hi Kittens and Cat - I had definite bleeding at around 6.5wks with this pregnancy, assumed all was lost, except that the bleeding didn't last too long (around 1.5days?). As I'd already booked early scan with our fetal medicine centre, I rang to ask if I should cancel but she said to come in as soon as she had space. Was nerve-wracking going along, and she did warn me it might be too early to see a heartbeat, but it was there! However I've also had the opposite, ie first time I (finally) became pregnant after having DS, had booked doctor's appointment but had period before actually seeing him. So I know how horrid it is to have bleeding. But it is worth calling midwife/anyone you've been in contact with before, to get it checked... fingers crossed for you both.

Hi all. I can only echo what the others have said about bleeding. A friend here has just had her 20 week scan and baby fine, and she has had bleeding on and off throughout her pregnancy thus far. But she had none with her first baby. Just one of those things.

Numpty see you tomorrow! Thanks for the description - I was wondering about the reception I would get asking random ladies "Are you Numpty?". A swift slap probably!!

Such reassuring messages, thank you. Hope all is ok with you now kittens.

I'm not sure what's happening here - I've had brown streaks today and they haven't stopped yet. Also feeling a bit backachey and crampy so I'm pretty sure which way this is going .

I haven't even seen the GP yet about the pregnancy. What shall I do? Wait and see if it develops into proper bleeding? It's so early (5 and a bit weeks) that I don't think an early scan will show anything.

Try not to worry too much yet. Maybe try and get an emergency appointment with the doctor tomorrow or friday if it hasn't settled or maybe call the NHS Direct for advice. Brown usually signifies old blood so could just be from implantation. Fingers crossed for you Catlady. I seem to be back to normal. Tired and cranky too which is a good sign for me, but not so much for the other half .

Actually, scrap that. More pinkness has shown up. I'm on a 12+ hour shoot tomorrow so I really hope nothing bad happens whilst I'm at work

Hi all. Kittens and Cat - I'm sorry you're having worries. I know that it is normal to have a bit of bleeding at the start as everything settles in. And its also common to have some more at about 9 weeks - can't remember why. And my mate who just wasn't the one in six has actually been bleeding all the way through and she's now 14 weeks with no problems. Then again, I bled in both of mine (at 8/9 weeks - brown and red) and so maybe I'm not a great person to help with the not worrying. I don't know what they could see at a 5/6 week scan, but I'd definitely advise calls to doctors and/or midwives and see if you can get some more medical reassurance that way.

Sending sticky thoughts your way guys. xxx

Yes, thinking of you two. I hope your luck holds.

Sending sticky vibes both your ways. Discharge sounds better than bleeding anyway. I had brown discharge the first time, brown and then red bleeding the second, and brown the third. Didnt miscarry in any of those times.

I would ring a GP/midwife/EPU though for some reassurance or even just a date when they would scan you.

It's so scary, and not what you need at this stage - but hopefully it isnt bleeding as such yet. Take care.

Sorry it's back kittens. Manic day here tomorrow too. DH leaving at 7am to get to Berkshire so I've got to get DD ready to be picked up by her nanny at 7.30 then rush up to north London for an 8.15 meeting. I've got to sit in a room with a load of bankers and be all serious and convincing .

Back to back meetings all day, grr then working on a comms plan tomorrow night. Really don't know how I'll do it if this turns into proper bleeding. Taking time off isn't an option either as I run my own business and would be seriously letting clients down if I don't show up. Busy days always happen at the most inconvenient times don't they?

Bed is calling. Will be thinking of you kittens and hoping all is ok in the morning.

Cross posted Catlady. Have fingers and toes crossed that it doesnt get worse and goes away and you can be distracted by your busy day...