support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities

[katiecubs]

Hi girls - i hope this becomes a useful area

Hi Kittens and everyone. Sorry I haven't posted for a while - no news and zero motivation in general.

I guess I do have some small news - I had an appointment at the clinic the other day for blood tests. Have to wait 6 weeks for the results now. They're not really expecting to find anything - but doing the standard investigations just in case, given I'm 40.

TTC didn't happen last month - we just let it slide without mentioning it (probably because we were on non-speaks for most of the time!). I had joined the December bus thinking some of the enthusiasm would rub off on me, but No.

Anyway, a month is nothing in the grand scheme of things. A good rest for me. Better luck next month.

I am off to read back a few pages and see what you've all been up to....

Allstars you are really having a hard time of it lately. I am sorry to hear about your friend dying so unexpectedly. How are you doing?

Kittens, I am glad to hear your MC tests came back clear and you've started trying again. How did Egg Day go? When are you planning to POAS?

Mishtabel, I am from Bris-Vegas, though in the UK now. Did you emigrate or are you from Oz? Your Bella sounds so lovely. How is your MIL doing? Is she having to have chemo or anything? My mum had breast ca twice in the last 10 years, very scary for everyone but she's still here and doing fine.

Littlepoot I hope your SIL has moved on from this guy. It's good that she can confide in you. How are you getting on with your DH? I am getting on better with mine. It's just so hard to make conversation when you are majorly irritable. I need to get some serotonin flowing - I might start mainlining some Easter eggs!

Shangrila - so lovely that your baby is smiling, isn't that just the best sight in the world? And I am impressed with the sleeping through already! Long may it continue.

Cantdothisagain - I'm glad they are scanning you so often and ... you are nearly there! It's good that you know your CS date and it's sorted. I didn't worry overly with my DS, until I went over my due date - then I started to freak out a bit. So much so that I asked to be induced when I was a week over.

Anyway DS is up so I had better go. Hi to Numpty and Katie and everyone else. I hope it won't be so long before I post again. x

Hi Everyone,

I have good news ? just back from my anomaly scan and everything looked just fine! I?m sure I don?t need to tell you what a huge relief this is ? really hoping I can start to relax and enjoy being pregnant now

Mimsystarr - lovely to hear from you, hope TTC goes well this month and your test results bring you peace of mind.

Long-time ? thanks for thinking of me and dropping by, hope you are ok?

Kittens ? i meant to say the other day I was so glad to hear your mums scan went well, that must be such a weight off your mind.

Littlepoot ? welcome back you have been missed! I hope you got through the weekend ok and it was not too difficult on you? I?m sorry to hear about your SIL?s situation, I?m afraid I don?t have any personal experience to add to the advice the others have already given but I?m sure it?s a great start that she has confided in you.

Can?t and Numpty ? hope your babies are behaving well and not causing too much trouble!

Shangrila and Mishtabel ? lovely as always to get updates from you ? so glad to hear how well your little ones are doing.

Allstars ? thinking of you today, I hope the funeral went ok and you managed to say a special goodbye to your dear friend.

Katie xxx

Great news Katie. So pleased for you.

Mimsy and LittlePoot - like both of you I have been seriously irritable. Lucky for us we seemed to take a break from bickering over the crucial few days. I'm ashamed to say that I did POAS today. In fact, I did one of each - OPK and HPT. Purely because I have been having sharp twingey pains in my uterus area and was curious. Yesterday I felt like I was ovulating as the pains were on one side but I very definitely got 2 dark lines on the OPK at the beginning of last week so that would just be wierd. But for some reason (probably because I have the super cheap tests) I decided to have a look anyway. Needless to say there was only one line on each test. D'uh! Bit early for the HPT anyway as it's only a week since I ov'd. Ha ha, I swore to myself I'd be more laid back this time. I've not joined the 'bus' yet. Just lurking. My way of fooling myself I'm being laid back

LittlePoot - what a tricky situation with your SIL. I have been a relationship which was not physically abusive but rather emotionally abusive and controlling and it's not easy to get out of. It can be such a conflict because, obviously there are still the things that attracted you to the man that make you want to still be with them as well as the fact that they are always so manipulative and manage to strip you of your confidence and make you believe that you would be lost without them. There is always the rational voice in your head that tells you it's wrong but it's a question of when that voice outweighs your wanting to be with that person. It's really good that she's talking to you about it, it means that the rational voice is very much there. If your husband doesn't know about this it may be a good idea to keep it between the two of you for now as you don't want to damage the trust and send her back into silence.

Special thoughts and hugs for Allstars today. It must be devastating to loose such a good friend.

Oh, meant to say about my mum's scan too. It's kind of good news but nowhere near as good as I was hoping. Obviously I wanted to hear that it had been conquered. The news was that it is stable, it hasn't grown or spread but it hasn't shrunk either which is what I had hoped had happened even if it hadn't gone. It is a sign that they think they have found a chemo cocktail that works for her at least so hopefully that will now take us in the right direction. I am trying to be positive for her but I am still scared. The good thing is she is feeling and looking well (according to her friends - I've not seen her since Christmas). She will be over next month to help my granny move house so I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Yay Katie great news about the scan. You must feel so relieved! did you stick to your plan not to find out the sex?

Kittens, I'm sorry the news from your mum's scan wasnt more positive but glad it wasnt bad news, if you see what I mean. It must be so hard. And good luck with the testing. A week is definitely too early so it isnt all over yet.

Mimsy, sorry you have been on and off the bus. Are you jumping back on again? good to hear from you anyway.

LittleP, no advice on the abusive relationship from me as have no experience of this at all. But I do think it's a good sign that she recognizes the position she's in - and dares tell people, so he hasnt entirely isolated her. Good luck with the supporting... and the TTC...

Hi Numpty, how are you doing? Is your DS getting used to the idea of a sibling? My DD is very excited, theoretically, at the idea - she definitely wants a 'baby sister' though, think she'd send a brother back! Also I think she imagines a baby like one of her dolls (!) so a real one is probably going to be a shock.

Shangrila - I love the euphoric description! and the smiling. What a lovely stage. Thank you and Mishtabel for being so reassuring and not making me feel like a neurotic obsessive.

Well - news from here is simply that have started getting the practical stuff for the hospital bag and have retrieved the newborn baby clothes from the loft to wash. Quite emotional in fact, because I vacuum-packed those clothes at a time before all this pregnancy trauma and had no idea of what was to come - I was so innocent. Sometimes I feel nostalgia for that. Anyway, I'm taking baby steps still but I'm doing okay...

Oh Katie, what a relief! Hopefully you will find you'll be able to relax a bit now. I'm fine, thanks for asking! My ds's are back from the UK for Easter and my dd breaks up from school for Easter on Friday. It'll be nice for us all to spend some time together.

Katie - so pleased that all is well, definitely and thoroughly well. Hope you can now relax a bit and enjoy the weeks to come, and the bump to come...

Allstars - sad day for you today; as someone posted earlier, I hope the funeral gave you a focus and outlet for your grief, even if it is not the finale of that journey.

Kittens - sorry to hear your Mum's scan is not more positive but here's hoping the chemo cocktail does the trick - fingers crossed. Really hope you have a good visit with her next month, it's hard when your folks live far away. Hope the house move isn't too exhausting for her though (or your granny!).

Can't - wow, hospital bag time! Funny, last time I had it all so sussed and somehow thought I'd remember all the things that were needed (or not). Never thought it would take this long or that we'd have lost 2 little souls in the meantime... now whenever I see a pregnant bump I do wonder what journey they have had to get there. Enjoy the washing and the reliving of tiny baby memories, you will have all that to experience again soon . Mixed happy/sad feelings, I'm sure...

As for us, I still don't think DS gets it! But then his language skills aren't overly developed (he can jump really well though ). So, while other friend's 2.5yr olds can say that bolognaise is their 'favourite tea in the world', he will say 'ham sandwich' in preference to having pasta (or more likely 'hamwidge'). He's got a great understanding of cars though, shame I'm not getting a new car instead! Hi ho. But he's quite good with other children just now, he's got 2 girlfriends (one from playgroup and one from nursery) who he bestows with kisses and hugs, then wrestles to the ground... nice moves.

Yay Katie! Woop woop woop! I'm so so so pleased to hear your good news! About time there was some more happy news to celebrate. I hope you're able to celebrate a bit more now and display your bump with pride!

And Numpty - your son sounds fabulous! I love his pulling techniques. And who needs 'well developed' language when he's clearly getting all of his needs met already (with a hamwidge and a girl on each arm). Speaking is overrated in my opinion...in adults as well as in children. If he's happy with fast cars and pretty girls then what more does he need?!

Thanks all for the SIL advice. I think I've done all I can for now so fingers crossed that he keeps away long enough for her to see sense.

Mimsy - sorry you're a bit down. I think 'flat' is the best way to describe where I am at the moment. I'm not exactly unhappy, but I wouldn't go so far as saying I'm happy either. Kittens often sounds the same. And it generally has the effect of making me much less tolerant and resilient so I'm much more likely to pick a fight with DH or burst into tears - not ideal really. Especially yesterday when I was at a training course at work.... Well - they were going on about setting a goal for where you want to be in 2 years and so thinking about where to aim for in 1 year, what you need to do in next 90 days and what obstacles are there preventing you from getting there. Er... where do I begin? I didn't really have a chance of holding it together did I?!

Anyway, love to kittens (and I'm with you on POAS addiction...) and Can't and everyone else and I'd better stop chatting and get back to work... xxx

Thank you every body for your kind messages we stuck to our guns and didn?t find out the sex although from the beginning I have always had the strong suspicion it?s a boy ? will have to wait and see if I?m right!

Does anybody have any nice plans for the Easter weekend? Me and OH are off to Belfast to visit one of my best friends from uni so I?m quite excited about that. Disappointed with the nasty turn in the weather though!

Kittens am sorry that the news from your mums scan was not what you had hoped, although it?s very promising that they have found a chemo that is working for her. It?s also great that she is looking and feeling well as that scan only be a very good sign ? I hope you have a lovely time when she visits.

Littlepoot good luck with the POAS I will keep my fingers crossed for you (and Kittens!). Also agree Numpty your son sounds fab!! He must be a right little charming having 2 girlfriends already.

Not long to go now Can?t! Are you managing to relax a little more about it at all? Do you have a feeling if you will be having a boy or girl? I read in one of my pregnancy books the other day that a women?s intuition was the most reliable way of guessing the sex, apparently 71% of women who didn?t find out guessed correctly ? however i guess you have a 50% chance anyway right!

Hi Katie, I guess correctly with my DSs and with my first (Turners) DD. However, I was convinced DD2 was a boy...

Hope you have a lovely Easter weekend!

I am off to Worthing tomorrow to see my best friend after an appointment with an agency (work related) which is halfway on my route so thought, as I have no work tomorrow, I would avoid the bank holiday mayhem and drive down tomorrow instead of Friday. Then on to my grandma's to see her and my auntie and help with the throwing out/packing etc, back home Sat night to then spend the rest of the weekend with my other half and his family. Keeping everyone happy and me away from POAS!

I wish I knew how long my cycle is going to be though. That's kind of frustrating. During the last gap it was average 24 days. The one before was more like 31. It seems to change between each pregnancy. I have mild cramps at the moment. Trying to remain neutral about what this means one way or the other whilst amusing myself by reading the threads about hysterical symptom spotting on the conception boards. So far, I have found out that I am pregnant the day before valentine's, new years day and the day before christmas eve so maybe this will be an easter revelation haha, just being silly. I don't feel like it's gonna be this month.

LittlePoot - have your periods started again yet? Are you OPKing?

Mimsy - sorry to hear you're a bit flat and not on great terms with the man. I think we've all been going through that.

Cantdo - all moving in the right direction. Very exciting!

Shangrila - I'm made up for you, I really am. I am necking the 5mg folic acid daily in your honour

Allstars - I'm sure you're still feeling pretty raw. Big hugs to you and lots of easter chocs to comfort you x

Wishing all the rest of you who I've not mentioned a lovely Easter weekend. Let's hope the sun makes an appearance at some point (hopefully on Sunday when I'm back home so I can finally plant all the veggies I've bought!).

Thanks for all your kind words about my mum. We are all keeping as positive an attitude as possible. She won't be doing the actual move as we've hired in menfolk for the job but she is the family representative when it comes to arranging furniture, pictures etc.

Oooh - polish that halo there kittens - aren't you the dutiful friend/niece/grand-daughter etc etc?! Sounds like a lovely weekend.

So, we're back on the TTC wagon - all hormones and monthly cycles seemingly back on track. Although DH is out of the country a few days around what ought to be egg day, if everything goes back to normal, so maybe not all that likely to happen straight away! Will get onto those sticks asap....

Gotta run - busy day!

Hoping everyone is having an OK Easter weekend, keeping busy (or trying not to rush around, depending...). We are staying at my in-laws, recharging batteries from a busy time at home/work in the last few weeks. It's so nice not having to do very much... xx

Easter weekend has been turbulent here. DD has succumbed to norovirus and is alternatively vomiting or running to the loo. We were up most of last night and she is still as white as a sheet, so I don't hold out for much sleep tonight, either.

This thread is really motoring now, what with Can't all packed and ready to go, the other PG ladies following close behind (yeah Katie, excellent scan!) and a number beginning the TTC journey. I think that daring to believe is the biggest leap of faith, but so well worth it. LittlePoot and Kittens, those consultants appointments can be incredibly stressful, but at least they help to put a few more pieces in the jigsaw. And somehow, I never felt quite so helpless after them. As if I was wrestling back a vital bit of control. Love and luck to both of you - and all others who are actively TTC.

Mishtabel and Lins - think of you both lots!

Am going to seek out Tree's delivery bunting and pompoms in anticipation of Can't's progress this month. keep in touch. Ha - I'm a fine one to talk!

Hello lovely Shangrila! Really nice to hear from you, but very sorry to hear that the vomiting bug has hit...doesn't sound much fun.

Things are all good here - which makes a lovely change. My best friend just tearfully confessed she was pregnant but didn't want to upset me by telling me. And do you know what, I am genuinly happy for her. Ok, I'm hoping I get pregnant straight away so we can go through all this together, but for the first time in a year, I feel a bit 'back to normal' and like things might be ok after all. Must be the wonders of exercise - I'm back running again and am a week into a diet, trying to get rid of the non-baby weight I've managed to accumulate. Basically I've put on a stone by not having babies this year, and I really need to get a grip of it before the next one comes along. But it feels really good to take back this bit of control (funny you used the same phrase Shangrila - I guess control is something we've been lacking).

Anyway, I need to take my new found endorphins and enthusiasm out into the garden and get the peas in. I hope everyone else is ok? Mimsy - hope you're finding something to make you feel a bit brighter? Peanuthead - you've been awfully quiet. I hope all is well with you. xxx

Hello Shangrila and LittlePoot - good to hear from you both .

I hope the norovirus has eased up now, Shangrila, and that no-one else gets it... what a shame for your DD to get it over a weekend when most people are enjoying their choccy eggs - can you re-do Easter next weekend instead? Hope your little boy is doing well .

LittlePoot - glad to hear that you are feeling lighter (and not just due to the efforts at running - well done!). I really hope that you will be able to join your friend on her pregnancy journey, if not immediately at some time in the near future...

Lins and Mishtabel, hoping your little babies are doing well? And your big girls too...

And Can't and Katerina, please remind me when you are due, I'm afraid I can't recall... I'm due at the end of June (which still seems ages away on this rainy wintery day). Katie and Allstars - how about you?

Peanut - as LittlePoot says, hoping all is well with you... xx

And to Kittens, Mimsy and anyone else TTC, hoping that the wintery days give way to Spring and a promise of better times to come.

Shangrila, hope your DD is better - such a shame for the novovirus to affect her holiday! Hope DS hasn't caught it...

Any POAS, Kittens???

LittlePoot, you sound so much happier. Glad you are feeling more positive and good luck with the TTC...

How many weeks are you now, Numpty? I'm 38 weeks, can you believe. C-section next week... wish I could feel more relaxed about it, but I'm very anxious. I'm okay, but anxious. Guess that's inevitable given what I've been through...

Katie, how was Belfast? and how big is the bump, are you in horrid maternity clothes yet?

Don't worry LittlePoot, my halo is still suitably tarnished. Best friend got me on the wine by about 4pm. Rain was forecast for the Friday so bonnets didn't get made in the end. Eggs were painted for the south downs egg roll on Monday though, but not by me. Best mate's hubby painted a couple. One as the Queen and one as Matt Lucas. Most entertaining as he's an artist so they were quite lifelike. Didn't do much packing round my gran's either as it was decided that we won't do packing until nearer the move in a month's time so in the meantime was force fed large amounts of cake by my auntie.

Oh dear Shangrila, I hope everyone's stopped being sick and that you managed to salvage some nice relaxing time over Easter.

Wow, Cantdo, I can't believe it's really next week! How exciting!

I'm inevitably driving myself stupid. I POAS on Saturday and Monday. Both BFN. It's day 28 now, I think 13 dpo and no AF yet. Have had cramps and stabbing pains on and off throughout 2ww, which is why I've done a couple of POAS (OK, 3 - so far). Don't feel pre menstrual or pregnant apart from a few large spots which could mean either and some nasty headaches and the threat of a migraine yesterday. Who knows?! Might POAS again in the next couple of days if AF doesn't show. Frustrating as I want to go to Pilates and swimming but don't know if it's safe. Have no idea how long my cycle is going to be.

LittlePoot, great that you've now embarked on the journey of TTC again. We can drive each other potty now!

Katie, how many weeks are you now?

Numpty, hope you enjoyed your well earned rest.

Have a good week ladies.

Hi Can't - wow, next WEEK!!? Somehow I don't think anyone could feel relaxed given the proximity of the date, even if you know when it's going to happen. All will be well, but I totally understand you feeling anxious... for myself, I think it's facing the unknown, ie not knowing quite what will happen and that there are various possibilities that could happen. But what is certain is that next week you will meet your little one! No wonder you've been getting the tiny clothes washed - I've yet to venture up into our store area, keep thinking that I'll do it another weekend.

Kittens - glad you had a good Easter and not too virtuous; early wine and cake sounds a VERY good distraction from the TTC/POAS. Someone on another thread just now was ranting about cupcakes and how they are just empty calories, but surely the calories in cake and wine are more fulfilling than most? Re TTC and exercise, gentle swimming wouldn't be a problem, would it? I thought it was only exercises such as sit-ups. I really feel for your anticipation/frustration... just to say I'm thinking of you, and holding you and LittlePoot in my heart hoping that you get that BFP soon. xx

Agreed Numpty, wine and cake are definitely some of the most fulfilling calories.

So, no more POAS this month as AF just arrived this morning. The reason for saying that swimming may not be safe was the not knowing whether I was going to come on or not. You can't really wear a panty liner in the swimming pool ! Although, actually, I do have a Mooncup which you can use as a precautionary measure.

It's not the end of the world not getting a BFN this month. I was mostly anxious because of all the sharp twinges and cramps I was getting and hoping they weren't some kind of unpleasant after effect of having so many ERPCs/terminations etc. I've had such a slow start to the year work wise and now that the financial year has started again and I have some lovely new material for my portfolio which is currently being added to my website as I type this I am gearing up to some serious hustling which is a lot easier without morning sickness and fatigue I must say!

Morning lovely ladies,

I hope you all had lovely Easter weekends! Belfast was fun although a complete washout, normally we would just use that as an excuse to go down to the pub for the day but with me being pregnant and annoying we had to think of alternative activities! Ended up doing a nice coastal drive, visiting the Giants Causeway and touring a whisky factory (no tasting for me though). Aside from that things with me and fine, I?m 21 weeks now and I have a small but definite bump ? not really in maternity clothes stage yet though but I have had to resort to using a hair band through my jeans button hole to extend them a little. Numpty I?m due mid August so I must be 6/7 weeks behind you!

Can?t just a week to go ? wow! Do you have everything all ready now? I hope the anxiety subsides a little with each passing day, I guess it helps a little that you have a definite day to count down to. Do you know how long you will be staying in hospital for? I?m just wondering how long we will have to wait for our update

Littlepoot it?s lovely to hear you are feeling so much more positive. Your best friend sounds lovely, how caring of her to be so worried about telling you her news I?m sure that meant a lot. I hope you can join her on her pregnancy journey soon.

Kittens I hope you waved hello to Worthing from me! Sorry to hear about the BFN but glad it didn?t get you down. Good luck with the hustling!

Shangrila I hope DD is feeling better? Peanuthead how are things with you? Love to everyone else! xxx

Not sure what day you're going in Cantdo but just wanted to wish you lots of luck and love for next week. x

Hi all!

Kittens, sorry about the BFN, but sounds like it's a good thing from a work point of view. I guess it also gives your body a chance to rest a bit after the miscarriage. Good luck with the work and the next round of TTC.

Numpty, late June will come quickly I promise. My date seems to have come up very fast despite heaviness and insomnia that come with late pregnancy. All the more time for DS to get used to the idea of a sibling (!) - I say that, but DD talks a lot about her impending sibling, but I don't think she gets it properly at all. We shall see! How are you feeling, by the way? you sound very relaxed; I'm glad. Are you having the normal midwife appointments?

Littlepoots, glad your best friend's pregnancy hasn't been too upsetting. I have to confess I struggled with other people's pregnancies. Good luck with joining her.

Katie, so the bump has arrived! Keeping in normal clothes while you can is sane. Maternity jeans have never stayed up on me... and by the end of pregnancy you are heartily sick of the maternity wardrobe you've acquired. Has your temporary contract ended, or are you still working? I can't remember...

Hi Mimsy, Katerina, anyone else around...

I think the spring makes everything feel a bit lighter - don't know how you all feel. After my second termination, early June, it was very sunny and warm for weeks and the sunshine felt as though it was healing me in some way.

Anyway yes very soon the end is in sight for me. Still anxious. Oh and I seem to have hayfever/a cold (feels more like hayfever - am allergic to tree as well as grass pollen, and spent yesterday in a park with many trees, so v possible) - need to get rid of that! Wish me luck.

Hi everyone, just dropping in to say Hi.

Cantdo, hope your hayfever calms down soon. I used to be the same but haven't had much since we moved to Scotland (think it is all the rain that keeps the pollen count down!) But I know what you mean about the lighter feeling, isn't it great to have some warmth? It will be so lovely having a spring baby. Very happy for you. Only a few days to go.

Sorry about the BFN Kittens. Better luck for us soon, and Littlepoot too!

Not much news from me really. Just started on 5mg folic acid. I was feeling a bit guilty as I had stopped taking my supplement. After my bad news scan I shoved the Pregnacare to the back of the cutlery drawer - couldn't stand to look at it. And only started taking it again 2 weeks ago. So hopefully can play catch up now with the 5mg (sure it doesn't work that way, but still).

How's the garden going Littlepoot? What else have you got in with your peas? Would love to plant some edibles. We only have a couple of windowsills - am thinking about planter boxes with a bit of herbage.

Hi to Katiecubs and all the other ladies getting along in their pregnancies ... Enjoy the sun on your bumps!