Hello all!
Gosh...where to start...
Firstly, a belated happy Christmas to you all. big hugs to everyone. xxxxx
I am back now from (computer exile) France, and survived it! Travelling when almost 36 wks preg isn't funny, especially as once there I felt very vulnerable walking around on snow and ice, so was practically a prisoner in the chalet. But all 24 of the family party had a good time, especially the skiers and the children. So although I can't hand on heart say I had a good time, it's done, and the baby didn't put in an early appearance. And magic moment - when dd met Father Christmas out in the snow on the slopes after a torch light ski procession. Her little face....ahhh.
New house is a mess - really depressing to come home to. So much to do to it and it doesn't feel like home yet. Silly idea to move before Xmas cos you can't call upon loads of tradesmen to come and quote for stuff. Am a bit overwhelmed at it all, and can't muck in and help due to enormous bump. I am now at waddling stage, and bits of me hurt that shouldn't. ouchy.
Justa - masses of good luck for the 29th. Will be thinking of you and waiting to hear of safe arrival of mini justa.
Hello to newbies - specially to helenlouisey. I have had two terminations for severe chromosomal problems, and know the deep and painful sadness they bring. Big hugs to you, hope you are surviving this 'festive' season (which can just underline loss when you are so raw).
Horrid 'groudhog day' moment a few weeks ago: driving to my work xmas night out...to the same place as last year, with the same people in my car, me driving cos i'm pregnant...same as last year. Only last year I was less preg.
Sometimes I feel that I'd like to wipe bits of my life from my memory, a bit like deleting a file. Except then I would loose all the good bits with dd too.
I haven't read all the thread properly but I think congratulations are in order to katiecubs and Numptymum? Hurrah! We will have a little gaggle of thread babies.
Speaking of which: I was thinking on Christmas day of all our little babies that aren't with us. They are not here, but are not forgotten and I sent them all a little extra love flying up through the snowy alpine air to wherever they are all playing. Typing this, am suddenly in tears again. But haven't really let much out recently so probably good to cry.
Counselling is still going on, am now at stage where I am separating out the grief and anger at losing another baby, from the actual next baby growing now. I was really angry and confused a couple of months ago, and was directing this at the baby inside me, which felt so horribly wrong. And without going in to too much detail I had gender issues too with this baby, which needed addressing properly. It's all been a bit like a storm, which started off fierce and was wreaking havoc in my life, and gradually by talking through stuff, I have managed to 'down-grade' my emotional storm. Now it's more of a blustery day, as winnie the pooh would say.
Must stop now as ought to be cooking dinner...
Tree - hope all still ok with egg story, so exciting. xxxx
lots of love everyone. xxxxxxxxxx