Hi All!
Gotta start by saying HUGE HURRAH to Can'tdo! Congratulations (and how on earth did you manage to keep it a secret this long? ). So so so glad for you that the worst of the scans are out the way now. Ditch the baggy jumpers and go for bump friendly cling. xxx
Tree, what you are/have done is amazing and I will be keeping my fingers firmly crossed that one (or two?) of the little ones make it. What an incredible and selfless gift. xxx
Bee, good to see you on here a bit. (and I read a lovely message from you elsewhere to someone who has been through so much awful heartbreak, the other day.) I sense a little bit of Bee fighting spirit here and there.
I read everyone's lovely messages and chit chat and serious stuff everyday, but haven't felt able to put much in. (and my computer has had to be moved in to a weeny corner with no-where to sit, so not comfy really to type much!)
So much going on here...
Bump is mega heavy now, it's all out the front like a football up my t-shirt! People keep looking at me and saying "ooo, not much longer now?" which is really annoying as i don't feel the slightest bit ready yet.
We are moving house this thurs, FINALLY, as it's been an on-going ordeal to get certain solicitors to do anything (not mine I hasten to add). The moving date has changed a hundred times, and we only exchanged contracts last friday, so now it's all hands on deck.
Easier said than done when I can't even reach my own toes or pick up anything heavier than a bag of apples! My back is a disaster zone, so moving anything myself is a bit of a joke. I stand around, annoying Dh by issuing orders and getting in the way.
Counselling is going well (boy did we have some ground to cover.) I have kinda worked out that lots of my negative emotions are to do with grieving that was 'cut short' by getting pregnant surprisingly quickly. Once carrying a new life my brain could not deal with sad/angry/empty thoughts...although it was all bubbling away under the surface. And when I 'bad' or strong emotion popped up I thing I turned it towards the nearest person - a poor little baby! What a lot of sadness we carry. And oddly, the guilt of not feeling maternal/excited etc was almost as bad.
I still don't feel ready yet for this little one to put in an appearance but I think I will be by due date. Fingers crossed. 32 weeks now. Yikes.
I don't know how to fit in everything I need to do at the moment - packing/moving, phonecalls etc ...midwife...scans...appt with physio to sort out pelvic floor worries...osteopath...counselling.
There are only so many childcare favours one can call in, and I've reached my limit. I need a week of free time to sort out my body and mind!! Christmas shopping will have to er...wait!
When we move I may be internet-less at home for TWO WEEKS. And I can't really use it at work either so I will miss you all so much. Will have to go round to my Mum's to read stuff every few days.
So, really wanted to say now, how lovely this thread is and how it has grown from such awful times to be a supportive place people can rely on and come back to. I am one of those old ladies sitting on the bench, quite quietly, knitting away (metaphorically), supporting you all and taking strength too from the female resilience that is shown.
Must go to bed now and pretend to sleep (actually, wanting to sleep but bit uncomfy and dreaming too much too).
Much to love to ALL of you.
Lins xxxxx