Please or to access all these features

Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

support thread for women who have chosen to terminate IV

998 replies

bezzyk · 20/10/2009 16:33

Hello ladies old and new.

Here's hoping this thread brings better luck and much happiness.

Lots of love

BK xx

OP posts:
treedelivery · 26/11/2009 19:02

Have you kept it or returned it?

We need tombola pizes for the school Christmas fayre......

treedelivery · 26/11/2009 22:14

Wish me luck tomorrow folks. Night night. x

Cantdothisagain · 27/11/2009 07:12

GOOD LUCK TREE!!!!

Sending lots of good free range eggy vibes.

You are a star, whatever happens.

justabouttoturn35 · 27/11/2009 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bezzyk · 27/11/2009 09:56

Thinking of you Tree xx

OP posts:
shangrila · 27/11/2009 11:17

Oh Tree, you are such a star. What you are doing is truly lovely.

The best of the best of luck. xxxx

justabouttoturn35 · 27/11/2009 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mishta · 27/11/2009 22:26

Did I miss my chance to wish you luck tree - I get confused as to when your 'tomorrow' is my 'today'. Anyway, if I did, I hope it all went superbly. Will drop into your 'egg' thread when I wake up properly.

Have a lovely day everyone xxx

treedelivery · 27/11/2009 22:59

Hellloooooo!

  1. 9 big fat juicy ones. Am pleased with that as we had set ourselves up for 6-7, but please please more than 4 after the last scan.

They ae in the dish working thier magic right now.

Have had a mega day and it is starting to ache a little now so bed and hot water bottle for me.

Thank you so much for your messages.

It really does help doesn't it? The shadow cast by the support this place brings.

ladies of the thread Hope link works.

justabouttoturn35 · 28/11/2009 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bezzyk · 28/11/2009 08:53

Fantastic Tree! Is your part in this over with now?

When do you find out if she's been successful?

OP posts:
Cantdothisagain · 28/11/2009 09:03

9 eggs - that sounds fantastic!

Stupid question - would they implant more than one embryo? (ie could your friend end up pregnant with twins?)

I really admire what you're doing.

And I like the ladies on bench image. Though tis a bit cold for that these days. It's definitely the season for Mrs BG's cottage.

justabouttoturn35 · 28/11/2009 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

treedelivery · 28/11/2009 13:01

Rofl at justa - sure it wasn't Le land de pound [well known highly exclusive place selling amazing, thoughtfull, heirloom quality gifts at pocket money prices]. Like Le Primarke only with less sweaters.

They will put back 2 embryos [as my eggs are under 40] So twins is possible!

So - there were 9. Then there were 7. All fetilised, one was too young, one with 2 sperm [greedy] so they won't do the business. Hopefull hopefully hopefully the 7 will march on. They will go in on Monday. Then the mammoth 2 week wait for pregnancy testing. Have updated the thread on it all.

How is everyone? How is Busier? Busiest?

Lins! Hows the bump?

35 is not old Justa. It just isn't [justaboutayoungun]

busierbee · 28/11/2009 17:17

Dearest all
Have had a poorly post swine flu jabbed middle child and a flitting from the home lodger so have not been here to share the festive, joyful vibe.

WOW - Treelette!!!!!!!!!
You must be so proud of yourself honey - NINE!
What a fertile woman you are - figuratively and genuinely. Little saplings sprouting in their cosy dish as we speak. I am delighted for you. And of course for the recipient too. I wish them a calm and successful journey. You bring new meaning to the word 'generous' darling- you really do. Did it hurt honey?
I have not read properly and will go back and do so - but just wanted to get a sense of the mood and the mood is congratulatory to both our Treelette and Dearest Cando, Hasdone and Willdo. Well done darling and take strength from us all.
More later
Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

linspins · 28/11/2009 21:17

Hi All!

Gotta start by saying HUGE HURRAH to Can'tdo! Congratulations (and how on earth did you manage to keep it a secret this long? ). So so so glad for you that the worst of the scans are out the way now. Ditch the baggy jumpers and go for bump friendly cling. xxx

Tree, what you are/have done is amazing and I will be keeping my fingers firmly crossed that one (or two?) of the little ones make it. What an incredible and selfless gift. xxx

Bee, good to see you on here a bit. (and I read a lovely message from you elsewhere to someone who has been through so much awful heartbreak, the other day.) I sense a little bit of Bee fighting spirit here and there.

I read everyone's lovely messages and chit chat and serious stuff everyday, but haven't felt able to put much in. (and my computer has had to be moved in to a weeny corner with no-where to sit, so not comfy really to type much!)
So much going on here...
Bump is mega heavy now, it's all out the front like a football up my t-shirt! People keep looking at me and saying "ooo, not much longer now?" which is really annoying as i don't feel the slightest bit ready yet.

We are moving house this thurs, FINALLY, as it's been an on-going ordeal to get certain solicitors to do anything (not mine I hasten to add). The moving date has changed a hundred times, and we only exchanged contracts last friday, so now it's all hands on deck.
Easier said than done when I can't even reach my own toes or pick up anything heavier than a bag of apples! My back is a disaster zone, so moving anything myself is a bit of a joke. I stand around, annoying Dh by issuing orders and getting in the way.

Counselling is going well (boy did we have some ground to cover.) I have kinda worked out that lots of my negative emotions are to do with grieving that was 'cut short' by getting pregnant surprisingly quickly. Once carrying a new life my brain could not deal with sad/angry/empty thoughts...although it was all bubbling away under the surface. And when I 'bad' or strong emotion popped up I thing I turned it towards the nearest person - a poor little baby! What a lot of sadness we carry. And oddly, the guilt of not feeling maternal/excited etc was almost as bad.
I still don't feel ready yet for this little one to put in an appearance but I think I will be by due date. Fingers crossed. 32 weeks now. Yikes.

I don't know how to fit in everything I need to do at the moment - packing/moving, phonecalls etc ...midwife...scans...appt with physio to sort out pelvic floor worries...osteopath...counselling.
There are only so many childcare favours one can call in, and I've reached my limit. I need a week of free time to sort out my body and mind!! Christmas shopping will have to er...wait!

When we move I may be internet-less at home for TWO WEEKS. And I can't really use it at work either so I will miss you all so much. Will have to go round to my Mum's to read stuff every few days.

So, really wanted to say now, how lovely this thread is and how it has grown from such awful times to be a supportive place people can rely on and come back to. I am one of those old ladies sitting on the bench, quite quietly, knitting away (metaphorically), supporting you all and taking strength too from the female resilience that is shown.

Must go to bed now and pretend to sleep (actually, wanting to sleep but bit uncomfy and dreaming too much too).

Much to love to ALL of you.
Lins xxxxx

Mrsbrightongirl · 28/11/2009 22:26

Evening everyone,

It's so lovely to see a busy, buzzy thread.

Lins, phew, I feel exhausted just reading all the things you have to do...how can I complain with my 45 minutes commute, sit-down job, dinner then bed weekly routine. You're amazing, you truly are and I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible You'll soon be able to kick back in a lovely new home at Christmas. It's good to hear the counselling has been helpful too. I've always been a bit scared of letting it all out with a counsellor, so it's nice to hear a positive experience.

Tree, how amazing to read of all that you're doing. I will search out your other thread for a deeper understanding of the process and I'm willing those 7 little marching embryos on on their incredible journey.

I can't knit very well....too left-handed...so, I'll just have a cuppa on the bench, if that's ok.

Hugs, BG xxxx

busierbee · 28/11/2009 22:55

Mrs BG
YOu are maybe a techno clothead like me? Your photo is a very romantic, seductive torso shot - very magical but strangely headless!
Linsy Pinsy - golly my love- what a week ahead and you so pregnant.Your analysis of your postponed grief makes such sense to me - that the poor baby ends up being emotionally punished for not being the lost baby. You will love him ( I think it is a him! And hims are just very, very lovely) so very much when he lands. You are beginning such a new life - baby and home and all of it. How times are achanging. Wishing you calm restful times ahead.
Tree- are you feeling better after your mammoth harvest? I hope so. Is there a hint of sadness for you? Of loss? I hope not but you must feel you can share with us here if you need/want to honey.
Must to bed - am sleeepy head.
kisses to all of you friends

treedelivery · 28/11/2009 23:36

Evening all.

I love that picture MrsBG.

Agree Lins, you have such a lot going on. Such a lot of plates spinning away. I worry you will be exhausted. Take very very very good care of yourself. I respect how much you have put into and got out of the counselling. It is one of the most exhausting things a person can do, in my opinion.

I am feeling much better for a sleep this evening. I have a sense of loss as the experience is over - though not about the eggs. I have enjoyed it so much, such a priviledge. The eggs are nestled in the dish all together, waiting to make a nest in their mummy. So I view the eggs as in limbo - between homes as it were. I thought of the eggs as 'theirs' from the start though. I have updated the eggy thread which I'll link in, though I don't know how many of us go 'out there'

treedelivery · 28/11/2009 23:37

treerange eggs

Cantdothisagain · 29/11/2009 19:36

Happy birthday Justa - hope all the men spoilt you rotten!

Tree, you must be resting today. I am all excited about the embryo transfer on your behalf. When do we find out if things have worked (impatient emoticon)?

I assume Mrs BG is wanting to remain anonymous. Beautiful torso. I shall keep mine well hidden. And gorgeous dress...

Hi Lins, good to hear from you and bump. I can picture your bump! good luck with the move. I understand about the cut-off grieving. I guess it's just a slow slow process, and it will just fade in intensity eventually. But for now - only natural that this baby reminds you of a loss you havent been able to assimilate yet.

Busier, how is your DS?

It's another hideous day here weather wise. Wet and wild indeed.

I still havent managed to tell anyone in RL about the baby. I think I've created a hurdle for myself that is my next barrier to cross. I am making myself do it tomorrow.

Oh and we threw away the free porn, in case anyone was interested...

treedelivery · 29/11/2009 19:46

Hello cant.

I totally missed that there was a pic MrsBG - such a lovely hand hold. You both look like you are really hanging onto each other.

Hope the oinks are improving Bee.

I think you should say when you are ready Can't, and not feel under pressure.

Lins - I think I was one of the 'can't be long now' irritants. Many apologies - of course it's annoying. Silly me, I think I hjust genuinely wondered as I have a crap sense of time. yOu could have delivered and I wouldn't click it was early.

Embryo transfer [either tomorrow or wed dpending on the management] to pregnancy test will be 16 days. I will have aged 16 years by then. Then the very very long haul to 20 weeks when I kind of relax a bit, then the shorter hop to 30 weeks when I feel as good as it gets. Midwives eh?

Mrsbrightongirl · 29/11/2009 20:04

I laughed my head off when I read Busy's comments about being 'strangely headless'...I'm sorry, Bee, it was, indeed, an anonymity thing. It was the best I could do to show off the dress without going totally public...clothead, indeed hehehe.

Happy Birthday, Just! What did you get? Was it from Poundland, or was that just a ruse?

Good luck telling people, Cant. Do it when you're ready. I'm sure no-one will notice for a bit.

What's everyone been up to this weekend? I've been inside all day, at the computer, working my way through a giant bag of mini-marshmallows, hmmm.

Please let the wind and rain stop for a bit.

treedelivery · 29/11/2009 20:24

OO yes, Happy Birthday Justa!!

linspins · 29/11/2009 20:27

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Justa!! xxxx

Tree, yours was a genuine enquiry, not some annoying person commenting on my bump!! And actually, even though I can't admit it, it isn't long now. Psychologically, to me, it's 'next year' which is never near until january begins.

Blimey, what crap weather it's been. Felt sorry for Dh today, dismantling our shed in the pouring rain.
I am now totally surrounded by a sea of boxes...

btw, silly suggestion really but can't we have designated parking spaces for pregnant women at supermarkets? Ones you could drive in to and drive out the same way? Suddenly I can't reverse, and usually I'm great at it!

How is everyone else out there? Hope our newer posters aren't put off by our chit chat about life in general. We are all here for you if/when you need. Hugs to anyone going through rough times. xxxx

Right - massively busy week ahead, better go. Let's hope we all see some sun. xxxxx