support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

Hi to all

Been too low to post too, been lurking as always but not really anything to say. Just low low low.

Justa - does the worry never stop? Rest up and hang on in there, new mini-male-Justa. Justo maybe?

PF - have realised that infertility is worse than anything - the thought of never having another child is far more painful than my recent loss so I'm with you there. I had counselling - one session only - when we were considering egg donation last time round and the counsellor tried to talk about me never having another child too - I freaked a bit, not something I can consider/deal with. But if you've not had infertility issues before then 40 is not too old - I just conceived at 41 and I'm infertile. Apparently.

Did any of you see the recent research about antidepressants and heart defects? Was all over the papers yesterday. I've been on SSRI's for over 10 years and now have extra guilt as I'm wondering if that is what caused the baby's heart defect. And what the hell am i going to do come egg donation time? Without my meds I'm a total loon.

Also waiting to find out when is the funeral, when is our appointment with the consultant. There is no post here currently so trying to gather the energy to make phone calls.

DD has a temperature so am using the opportunity to cuddle her on the sofa with TV - wish she'd had it two weeks ago when I needed to rest and grieve. All my tears squashed inwards now from holding on to them for so long.

Hugs to everyone else - Mrs V, first week back at work is over at least.

Lemon gingerbread, hmmmm. Can I come to the BBQ too Justa?

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh tree! - xpost

AS I'm about to go for ED abroad I'm so pleased to read about it from the donor's viewpoint. You are so so kind - having been through the whole downregging/stimms malarkey all i can say is what a generous person you are. My donor will be doing it for money but still....

Can I ask, why are you doing it? It's such an amzingly generous thing to do.

OOOOh the worst of x-post form me there Peanuthead. I'm so sorry. I'll get the post taken down.

I'm so so sorry for the hard times you are going through PH. You do indeed sound sad.

Ha - and again!!

I will talk about it but I'm so worried about upsetting you or anyone. I am so respectfull of the big wounds we have here, some are healing over but still very sensitive.

I am doing it purely to help out. I remember when I heard their last cycle didn't work I just though 'this is ridiculus, I have loads of eggs' [I assume] SO I offered and they said yes. It's so simple really, a straight forward gift to help out.

I don't want to understate what I am doing - but to me it is that straight forward. I have it, they need it = so hand it over!

Bless your heart PH, your head must be aching and spinning and exhausted. x

Oh Peanuthead you must be going through utter hell. I didn't see the research but honey this is not your fault.
For me I found the funeral helped me turn a corner on what I now is know is a very long road, but some of the 'edge' went off the grief, don't know how to describe it really. Deep breath when you make those phone calls, we were so lucky(?) in that our hospital had a support service who did everything for us, so I feel for you having to muster the strength.
(((hugs )))

Tree I've just read your link with a cuppa and 2 slice of fruit loaf. I'll keep checking in for progress reports x

Tree - I know what you mean about it being straightforward - I just want a baby, don't really mind whose genes it has.(well withing reason obviously) But what a gift to give someone. You really are amazing, and I will be popping in to your diary. Can't give you any tips on DR as I didn't do it but stimulating was fine for me - but then I didnt get any eggs so I'm not the best person to report back.

We'll be going for it after Xmas, will hopefully be enough time for me to grieve, lose some of the weight I put on with morning sickness and get my cycles back to normal.

You can see what a double whammy having to end the pregnancy was, knowing it was probably the only chance with my own eggs.

Anyway this is not the thread to go into ED too much, will keep an eye on the other one.

Mrs V - the hospital is doing the funeral but I'm worried about not getting the notification letter in time - the post is currently taking over 3 weeks to arrive. So not too many phonecalls.

Tree I do too, honestly. It's a real gift of friendship.

Peanuthead, I think you'll get a phone call about the funeral - we did, both times, anyway. So don't fret too much about the post - there's plenty else to fret about at the moment. You're getting there, though.

Hard, hard times. I have my due date next week AND the anniversary of the first termination. Double hell.

Bezzy, hope today is going better for you. Pregnant people, hope you are feeling okay today, specially Justa. And hugs to Mrs V and Katie and Pelvic as you're all in vulnerable places at the mo. Hi to everyone else.

Tree I do too, honestly. It's a real gift of friendship.

Peanuthead, I think you'll get a phone call about the funeral - we did, both times, anyway. So don't fret too much about the post - there's plenty else to fret about at the moment. You're getting there, though.

Hard, hard times. I have my due date next week AND the anniversary of the first termination. Double hell.

Bezzy, hope today is going better for you. Pregnant people, hope you are feeling okay today, specially Justa. And hugs to Mrs V and Katie and Pelvic as you're all in vulnerable places at the mo. Hi to everyone else.

Peanuthead, I hope you get the call. At least your mind will be at rest then. You are getting there. Hang in there.

Hard week for you next week, thread will be here for you. x

Thanks for all your kind words re:donation You are overselling me, but I like it

Hope the weekend proves restfull and eases some tired hearts. Friday night and Sat are by far the nicest bits of the week in my book, so I hope you all get a bit out of them. X

Hi all, for some reason I have been unable to 'add a message' then thought i'd try logging in first and, voilà, success.

Justa, I'm so glad things seem to have settled for you, and congrats for boy number 3! I love it when one parent is outnumbered by the opposite sex; either a mum and her boys, or a dad and his girls. I have your date entered on my 'days until app', and by it's calculations, ds3 has to hang tight for another 73 days. I have 96 to go before my planned c-section date (21st Jan).

Thinking of you all often, especially those going thru tough times, and I do pop in every couple of days to check on you all. Have been so busy; sold our house, and have to be out by 3 Nov, working 5 days a week, and DH is interstate and will only be home for 2 days before we move, so it has been go, go go for me and will be so for next few weeks. So if I don't post, that is why, but I'll still be popping in often to see how you all are.

And Tree, I agree with the others, what a beautiful, giving thing you are doing, and I will also keep an eye on your other thread

Back to packing for me. Take care everyone xxx

Gosh Mishta you have been busy! Glad you have sold your house, hope the packing goes ok. We haven't got a date for our move yet, hopefully by end of Nov?!
Don't scare me with 'days until' stuff - if it's only 96 days for you, I could be even sooner as my due date is Jan 23rd! EEEk.
Still not really dealing with it all but will see how counselling goes this week.

Big hugs to everyone out there, hope you all got a little bit of sunshine on you today to lift weary spirits. xxxxx

Justa, Just caught up with the previous page. Hope things going ok for you and mini-justa behaving himself and staying in. There seems to be no escape from the worry does there. Take it easy honey. love Lins xxx

Morning ladies,
I hope you had nice weekends! I hope this week is full of brighter days for everyone having a hard time of it at the mo. Hugs to you all.
I am in a mini panic - still no period 6 weeks after my surgical TX. Do you think i should go to the doctor about it? I'm probably being a tad irrational but it's freaking me out! I also think if i do they will make me take a pregnancy test and i just can't bear to see a negative at the moment (i guess in theory there is that possibility but i just know in my heart thats not the case)
Katie xxx

Hi all - briefly from me as am off to get DD to bed - but Katie: my consultant said the norm was 4-8 weeks and to see a GP after 8 weeks. Having said that, I don't see any harm in seeing one now if you're worried.

Mine came back almost bang on time the first time, but was anovulatory and I bled through the entire next cycle. The second time it took six weeks to return. I think Bee's took a couple of months? Can't remember.

Thinking of you anyway.

Can people think of me this week? Anniversary of termination 1 is looming, and due date of Stella (plus anniversary of nuchal scan in which first baby's problems were detected) is tomorrow. Double whammy.

Oh and we soon need a new thread, but I started this one and am reluctant to start another as this hasn't been so lucky...

I had thought of doing one at home Justa but I'm too scared to do one on my own too - silly really but i just can't face it. I have heard other people say up to 8 weeks is normal too(just on the leaflet they gave me at the hospital said see your GP after 6) so i guess i will just sit tight till then!

I hope you are ok Can't, sounds like you will be having a tough run of it - i will be conjuring up all sorts of nice thoughts to help get you through xxx

Katie, could you do the test and hand it to your DP if you think you might be pregnant again? It is probably worth finding out so you eat/drink the right thing, etc, but if you can't face it, I would just eat/drink/act like you are pregnant just in case, and wait and see. It's so tough, isnt it? I do know how it feels.

Although, having said that, I have never done a negative test. That is less exciting than it sounds - I just tend to wait ages to do a test.

Thinking of you anyway, and thanks for your kindness.

Thankyou girls! I think i will sit it out a bit longer and see how things pan out - i'm convinced i'm not pg as i don't think i've even ovulated yet hmph. I can't do a test as i'm a chicken and like you Can't i'm the type who would test to confirm things not dispell them - anyway thanks again for listening and have a lovely night xxx

Oh Can't what a double whammy of a week for you. You'll get through this though hun, I'll be thinking of you (((big hugs)))
p.s with the luck i've been having recently (one thing after another) I don't think I should be the new thread starter either...

Lins I hope you get what you need from the councelling this week, no doubt it will be draining and emotional for you but worthwhile I hope.

Bezzy and Bee still quiet, Justa resting hopefully, hope everything is ticking along for you all...

Hi to everyone else x

Hello All

I've tried my hand at creating a new thread. Hope this next one brings better news.

BK xx