support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

[Cantdothisagain]

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

Hi Ladies,

I hope you are well and enjoyed you weekends - i saw my preggers freind (at a party with all my other frineds - none of which 'know'). As it's my first close friend to get pregnant everyone was obviously very intreagued about it all so the conversation was a bit monopolised by baby talk.

I was determined to be mature about it all but got drunk and had a bit of a break down ho hum! Luckily OH seemed to spot it and took me outside for a good cry and a chat - felt etter after that!

I have a question i was wondering if anyone could help me with - how long after your termination did you get your first period? i am 5 weeks post tx today and have had no sign of it yet. I know it's normal to have quite a long gap but the paranoia has set it and i just want to be back to normal again!!

Love to you all (esp Bezzy and Bee who had a difficult time of it last week)

Katie xxx

Oh blimey justa - although huge comedy value

Dear Bezzy, adn MiniBez. for your weekend. I guess it has to happen, it has to be worked through. Stout heart, all love.

Hi All

So glad the christening went well. Photos please!

Bezzy, you did need to cry. You were superhuman last week... hope you're doing okay today.

Katie, I've had 2 terminations. First one got first period 27 days after it, then it was 22 days to the next one, then back to normal. Second one it took 40 days - so nearly 6 weeks - then cycle adjusted. So I think the answer is - it varies. Consultant told me to see GP if it hadn't come back after 8 weeks. Sorry the party was hard. How are you otherwise?

Hugs to everyone else; working so can't write much!

Oh Katie Thats really crappy for you. Well done OH, lovely he was there for you. Focus on positive, how he rescued you and helped you feel better. Yay for lovely man.

((((((((hugs))))))))))

for Katie. We've all been there and can sympathise with you completely. On subject of cycles. Took me exactly 4 weeks, but then cycles were weird. Only bled for about 2 hours. Then nothing for 3 weeks, then 2 weeks, then 4.....then back to normal. I wonder what will happen this time.

I wailed at the gym pool yesterday at the sight of 100s of pregnant women. Also got asked by well meaning stranger if I was planning on having more. Sat on my hands to avoid assaulting her.

Talk of Ikea has inspired me to take a quick trip to buy some plastic storage boxes to get Mini bez wardrobe in order, she has SO MUCH clothing, tons of which no longer fits. She's shot up in the last couple of months. Not chunkier, just longer. No longer Bezzy's little baby

Must get showered. Lazy lazy lazy

Yes NPD he is lovely - i am very lucky! Glad your baptism went well BTW - sounds like a lovely day!

Thanks Cantdo - i think i am being a bit impatient, i guess it just feels a bit like the final step and i just want to cross it!

I am ok though otherwise though - i have the occasional dark moment but generally am pretty happy Hope you are too xx

Thanks Bezzy - sounds mad i shall look forward to that then!

Is there anything wrong with assulting strangers who ask incredibly personal questions?! you should have gone for it!

Morning all

Glad the Christening was lovely News, and the girls looked a treat. Photos would be lovely! .

Oh Bezz, tough old weekend for you. Tears can be exhausting but are a process to be got through, I firmly believe. You're far more polite with intrusive strangers than I can ever be. I have developed a fine line in both putdowns and hard stares. But then, I have turned into a sour old bat in recent years. A stance that is probably best avoided, if truth is known.

Katie, I appreciate the drive to get the cycle back on track as a sign that 'normality' is returning and life is moving on. I was always a bang on 28/29 days after procedure girl. But that was always with surgical management. I think there are probably a lot of variables to contend with - your cycle history, the gestational age of the pregnancy and probably much more. Sorry the party was a shaky experience for you but it sounds as if your man was an absolute star. Mine has learnt the signs too and whisks me away when he knows that the wobble that he sees is not going to clear up of its own accord. Well done to him! And big hugs to you too.

Thank you for your story, Cantdo. Makes me realise that the printed word in isolation can set us off into a downward spiral that is not always warranted. I know that there is something here now that needs monitoring but I am going to let the professionals do their stuff and respond when there is something to respond to, rather than respond to my imagined worst fears. Well, that's the theory.

Justa - DD went to Harvest Festival last week with a big parcel of fruit and goodies to donate. In possibly the quietest part of the service, she boomed 'But where are all the poor people, Daddy?' I thought we were doing quite well but obviously we need to do some more work on the concept of helping others less fortunate than ourselves!

Sun's out, so I'm off for a stroll. Love to all. xxxx

We get the 'are you having more' question a lot. I suppose something to do with being in my 30s and having one 2 year old. I often consider responding with, 'I've lost 2 babies this year, and am currently bleeding from recent surgery to remove a dead fetus' just to see their reaction.

Just returned from Ikea, only went to buy a couple of storage boxes, and spent £60. How does it happen??

BK x

Sounds like a teary old weekend all round then. So tired of tears..... when do I start laughing again?

Hi Peanuthead. So sorry that the weekend has been teary for you as well. In answer to the question about laughing again, I found that it sneaked up on me by surprise. One glorious day, having just become so used to feeling worn down by grief and upset, something stupidly funny happened and I remember throwing my head back and roaring. And then feeling taken aback and just a little bit guilty. But momentarily it was a good, plain old happy feeling and it marked the tiniest of departures.

I also recall, in similar circumstances, allowing myself to descend into the most marvellous, totally unreasonable pout when life had conspired against me on three separate occasions in the same day. So I ranted and raved about absolutely nothing. Very very loud. Then I realized how wonderful it was to be pouting over mere trivia and mundanities rather than the 'biggies'.

All this will come, probably when you're least expecting it. And when it does, let us know so that we can have a good old bellylaugh alongside you. Until then, cry and rant on and work through the sadness that you feel in this safest of places. x

Hi Peanuthead. So sorry that the weekend has been teary for you as well. In answer to the question about laughing again, I found that it sneaked up on me by surprise. One glorious day, having just become so used to feeling worn down by grief and upset, something stupidly funny happened and I remember throwing my head back and roaring. And then feeling taken aback and just a little bit guilty. But momentarily it was a good, plain old happy feeling and it marked the tiniest of departures.

I also recall, in similar circumstances, allowing myself to descend into the most marvellous, totally unreasonable pout when life had conspired against me on three separate occasions in the same day. So I ranted and raved about absolutely nothing. Very very loud. Then I realized how wonderful it was to be pouting over mere trivia and mundanities rather than the 'biggies'.

All this will come, probably when you're least expecting it. And when it does, let us know so that we can have a good old bellylaugh alongside you. Until then, cry and rant on and work through the sadness that you feel in this safest of places. x

Oops. Serves me right for mumsnetting from my phone. DH has still hidden all other Internet paraphenalia.!

Huge hugs all round - sounds like it has been a tough one fro you all. Wise words of hope from Shangrila.

In Baptism
Nanna: 'why are you holding that candle dd1?'
dd1: 'Cos God asked me too Nana'

Baptism photos are on fb, CAT me for my user name .

Fabulous news Justa and congrats on boy baby number 3! woo woooo! DH must be feeling pretty clever! he he

BK xx

Lovely stuff Justa

ROFL!
Have emailed you btw.

Yay Justa. Fantastically lovely news.

Can I nominate you to be my official guru on raising boys? x

Justa, that's great news. SO pleased to hear all is going well and the 'end' (or really, the beginning) is in sight now. Great stuff. xxxx

Lovely, lovely news justa x

Great news Justa - 3 boys cripes your DH must be feeling quite the man!