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support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

999 replies

Cantdothisagain · 30/07/2009 18:45

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

OP posts:
peanuthead · 07/10/2009 09:29

thinking of you today bezzy - and bee.

do you think 4 bottles of wine will be enough? maybe put in an extra one just to be on the safe side....

had a huge weep already today, only way I could get out of bed. DH not really getting it, he's worrying about dd and the effect on her. But as I look after her 24/7 it's hard to grieve when she's not there.

re all uphill from now. well it is uphill but at least it's going somewhere. and i love hillwalking...

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 10:27

Big hearts to Bezzy and Bee.

Am such an awol tart aren't I? I will be back. I will.

RL is big and hairy - good, just massive at the mo. Jess is now 5 by some magic or other, and Harriets Christening is Sunday. So lot sof relatives arriving and friends travelling - so manic house cleaning and also the mother of all seating plans. This is harder than my wedding! Phew.

So, very insenstive to twitter about such things on this huge day for Bee and Bezzy, so I shall lurk and hope to hear how you are.

Much love. Bige squeeze to all, and an extra to Justa too. x

brightongirl · 07/10/2009 11:13

Thinking of you today, Bezz and Bee.

Lots of love xx

linspins · 07/10/2009 12:41

Bee and Bezzy, much love to you both today, gosh what milestones to pass. Thinking of you both. Hugs. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

RL has been manic recently, Dd is exerting new found opinions and will power, to make my life as difficult as possible. Forget terrible two's, it's tantrum Three's (especially after two long consecutive days at nursery, when the whole evening is one big meltdown) I am using up every little bit of patience and emotional energy on her (and keeping sane) which leaves me a bit rung out to contribute here in a proper way.
Also, have found house to buy, so hopefully moving in 6-8 weeks (??though who knows!), and getting fatter by the day. Am battling demons a bit with this pregnancy, but hosp consultant has recommended I take up the offer of counselling that GP made (via midwife who thinks I am unhinged!).

But thinking of you all, and still following thread. Wine all round tonight, or a stiff orange juice.

Linx xxx

Eulalia · 07/10/2009 13:22

Thanks for the news update linspins.

Bezzy - hope all goes smoothly today and you can put today behind you. As others have said probably best to get the two dates out of the way in one go. Enjoy the wine and pizza later!

Bee - thinking of you too... you have far too many sad dates.

Peanut - good to hear the holiday helped but yes RL has to be faced. I can only offer sympathy. Sorry not good at these kind of words.

NPD - happy birthday whenever it was to your dd.

Am currently tracking down my flip-flops. ds2 is roaming the house tipping out boxes of toys looking for something and making more mess. Had a bit of drama yesterday - he stuck his hand into the slot of a car parking ticket dispenser and I couldn't get it out. Quite a crowd appeared and we tried cream but no good. Eventually had to call the fire brigade who freed him! He got a special teddy from them so is quite happy now.

luckywinner · 07/10/2009 14:19

Hi all, I am so sorry I haven't posted for ages. I have been staying away for a bit. Felt like I needed to get my head back into real life.

I am so sorry Bezzy to hear your news. I can't bear it when I hear it on this thread as I feel everyone here deserves a little luck. I will be thinking of you lots today.

Bee, sorry too that it's another sad date for you.

I have been thinking about you all lots. Lins, how long to go now?

lots of love to all
lw

bezzyk · 07/10/2009 16:00

Hello All

Surgery all straight forward, lovely nurses and doctors.

Got taken by surprise when they offered to send the remains away for testing. Agreed to it, but am now terrified of the results. Will take 6 weeks.

Welcome back LW.

You OK Bee?

Oh and don't know if any of you remember me telling you about maniac man screaming at his girlfriend / lover / bit on the side, when I went for last termination. Screaming 'don't do it again'. Well believe it or not. He was back AGAIN today with the same woman. Overheard the nurses saying 'he was here in April too'

Too many spooky coincidences with this pregnancy.

BK xx

justaboutautumn · 07/10/2009 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

luckywinner · 07/10/2009 18:23

Just wrote a huge message to you bezzy but darn internet dropped connection as I tried to post.

Basically it said I had testing done too. Was a bit stressed but came back chromosomal (sp?). Not sure if it helped or not. We'll see when it comes to trying again. I wish I had asked the sex though. I wanted to be able to name the baby. It sounds a bit dramatic as it was only a 9-10 week pregnancy but seemed important somehow.

Snuggle under a duvet in this horrid weather and eat copious amounts of chocolate. I don't know how old mini bez is but are there any films you can watch together? Nothing like a cuddle from your baby.

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 18:45

Hello Bezzy. Glad you are back and safe at home. Away from crazy man and woman!

lucky - it would be possible to look up the results if you wanted to know, as long as they looked at the time. I should think they would.

Love to Bee

busierbee · 07/10/2009 19:01

Me too wrote message and then children shut down computer and bam - gone.
Hello to you Luckywinner.
Dearest Bezz - well done - you have dealt with today with bravery and strength - let's worry about the future tomorrow.
Is a grey, grey, rainy day for hiding away.
Hello to my lovely Linsy P - glad to hear your voice again darling and that it brings news of new Pins residence.
And NPD - the christening sounds like a grand affair indeed - have fun seating divorced couples next to each other perhaps?
I am... what am I?
Unrelaxed.
And Lins - I am also - have to admit it, a little unhinged at the moment - the door is definitely not firmly attached to the frame.
On it goes.
Hugs for Bezz
Hugs for all

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 19:24

Big hearts Bee. Are you badly off? Is it nightmare hard or a bit crapper than usual or how?

Am about if you want me - dh is doing dinner and babies asleep.

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 20:17

I am panic buying dh a suit for the Christening on Sunday. He's a scruffy bugger.

His blooming legs are huge too [cyclist] so no doubt the trousers won't fit

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 20:25

My dress btw www.cathkidston.co.uk/p-13860-cath-kidston-ink-dot-tea-dress-with-insert.aspx We laughed at it being longer length this season as it's a bit short for me.

I'll stop rambling on now - triple post

I'd really like the cardi to go with.....

luckywinner · 07/10/2009 22:01

Tree it is a beautiful dress. Have a fabulous time. The Tree family will look divine, even with chunky thighs.

newspaperdelivery · 07/10/2009 22:15

Just got him a suit. He better blooming well be grateful. I'd have much rather got myself the cardi and bag to go with mi frock!

Hope everyone is ok-ish as can be. x

bezzyk · 07/10/2009 23:22

love the dress News! Am v drunk. Have just been to lovely friendly neighbour to drop off wet and bedraggled cat, have now had far too much Tanqueray (sp?) She's the one who watched minibez today, ended up blurting miseries of this year re procreation. Was amazingly sympathetic. I wore something quite similar for Minibez Christening.

Will all be fine tomorrow. Am determined.

Love to all, speak to you tomorrow whilst suffering with major headache.

BK xx

justaboutautumn · 08/10/2009 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bezzyk · 08/10/2009 08:50

woke up at 2am with the worst case of dry mouth in the history of mankind.

Luckily head is ok today.

Hope all are well, have friends coming later, so prob won't be around much. Don't worry, I'm fine

BK xx

Cantdothisagain · 08/10/2009 09:07

Glad the headache didn't materialize! you didnt deserve that on top of yesterday.
But Tanqueray is very nice...

Newspaper, your dress is gorgeous. And the sort of dress that would suit someone tall I think. Lovely.

Beyond tired here as we're having sleep mares. More later, but well done to Bezz for getting through yesterday in style - and Bee too.

And hi to everyone else.

OP posts:
Eulalia · 08/10/2009 09:55

Good to hear all went well yesterday Bez and you had a good drunken evening.

Off to see dd in a school production now, she's a rabbit apparently.

love to all xxx

newspaperdelivery · 08/10/2009 10:06

Well done Bezzy for your brave stout heart. x

Good luck mini-Eulalia. It sounds lovely

Oooo Justa. My sympathies. Thankfull you didn't have the nighmare that is A&E in the middle of the night. Harriet was up with proper vomits, we could have had a cuppa together

Miss J has gone of to school looking pale, I wonder if the pukes will strike? Should be clear for Sunday even if they do......

Love to Bee. hope the door is hanging by its hinges. There are Stout screws holding that
door on Mrs, you are strong.

newspaperdelivery · 08/10/2009 10:06

Well done Bezzy for your brave stout heart. x

Good luck mini-Eulalia. It sounds lovely

Oooo Justa. My sympathies. Thankfull you didn't have the nighmare that is A&E in the middle of the night. Harriet was up with proper vomits, we could have had a cuppa together

Miss J has gone of to school looking pale, I wonder if the pukes will strike? Should be clear for Sunday even if they do......

Love to Bee. hope the door is hanging by its hinges. There are Stout screws holding that
door on Mrs, you are strong.

newspaperdelivery · 08/10/2009 10:06

Well done Bezzy for your brave stout heart. x

Good luck mini-Eulalia. It sounds lovely

Oooo Justa. My sympathies. Thankfull you didn't have the nighmare that is A&E in the middle of the night. Harriet was up with proper vomits, we could have had a cuppa together

Miss J has gone of to school looking pale, I wonder if the pukes will strike? Should be clear for Sunday even if they do......

Love to Bee. hope the door is hanging by its hinges. There are Stout screws holding that
door on Mrs, you are strong.

shangrila · 08/10/2009 12:18

Hello ladies

Sorry to have been away and not around to hand hold/drink cyber gin yesterday and the last few days but I have been dealing with the 'joys' of real life.

Firstly, Bezzy the most massive hugs and cheers for you. Good decision on the testing, methinks. Information has to be power in our situation. Although going for results can be unsettling, it gives us more to work with and that can only be a good thing. You have run into your fair share of coincidences lately, haven't you? Glad you have friends around you today either to share it all with, or ignore and focus on whatever works for you. We are down to Penarth beach later, so I will send a wave and a kiss across the Bristol Channel.

News - I love the dress, absolutely beautiful. Are you of amazonian height like me? I always want to waft around in ankle skimming floatiness but it never really works out that way. You will look a treat on Sunday as will all the News family. Plenty of time for the girls to be on top form and feeling better, too. And good health to Justa's house, too.

I agree with everyone that it's a brave woman who contemplates moving house in their final trimester, Lins. Or is that simply a rather lavish and very, very cunning way of helping to take your mind off pregnancy matters? Whatever the inspiration, I applaud your verve (and energy!). Counselling a great idea too. We have a free counselling service at work and I intermittently think it might be the way forward for me. Do hope it's useful.

Hi Eulalia. Did you have to make the rabbit outfit? Sympathies if you did. I am scouring the internet for costume ideas for DD's next school production. It will be bought, not home made. The latter is just too hilarious to contemplate.

Love also to Cantdo, PeanutHead, Luckwinner (welcome back), Brighton Girl and of course Bee, for your tough old week. Don't forget that most doors are strong enough to take regular bumps and knocks but come up shiny and smart with a bit of love and polish. (Says she who can't remember the last time she got the Mister Sheen out!)

Crappy crap crap week here. In short, letter from the blood service, telling me that my blood had screened positive for acquired antibodies (anti-K, if we're being technical) and I should speak to my midwife. Couldn't get hold of anyone that night and spent the evening frantically googling (My tip? Don't.) Got my substantial knickers in a substantial twist and ended up in a right old state. Have cried over everyone. Midwife finally says not to worry. Yes, that's going to happen. I still remain unconvinced but since I am living my life on permanent code red, what's another worry to add to the equation?

So I am taking pleasure in fripperies today. I am sporting a lovely pair of new boots and am admiring them regularly on the half hour. I'll let you know if it works.

Love to all xxxx