support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

Hurrah for free wifi! My new swish phone has wifi and find myself logging on to MN while on the run.

BB, you're so kind, funny how you go on about my being young, yet just don't feel it. Sometimes I wish I were older, so I didn't have to consider trying again. Think it would be easier to cut my losses and be happy with my family of 3.

Period arrived today. Not that I was expecting to be pregnant at all, as have been using precautions religiously. Damn those BOGOF Durex. Even though, feeling blue, suspect it's the hormones running amock. Again.

Remember my friend from a while back who was expecting and used to call me and complain about being pregnant. Well, she's in Edinburgh (where I used to live) and I'm off to visit in 3 weeks to help her do (ALL) her baby shopping. (something I agreed to do while I was pregnant) she's not bought a thing and we have to do it in 3 days. I'm looking forward to it, like a hole in the head.

BK x

OH golly Bezz - periods are so upsetting nowadays aren't they?
And your friend in Edinburgh? This is not the one who went to the FMC is it? And shopping for baby stuff - blimey woman - that is a tall order.Does she know about your loss at all? Must you go? I mean you must go and visit but must you do the great shop? Or maybe it will be okay - could go into role. Your time will come honey. I have developed an unreasonable aversion to condoms - we almost had a fight the other night when i insisted we did not need one. I HATE THEM. We should not be needing them right now of course. Bloody sodding bogofs indeed.
Eulalia - do send info re second time arounders - am obsessed. In case you had not noticed.

Noooo this is another friend, the one who went to FMC is kind, sympathetic and considerate. This is the one who figures that if I'm not speaking about being upset then surely i must be ok. And thus tis ok to complain about being fat. Must go, just something I have to do. Will just remain drunk for 3 days.

I have 3 pregnant friends in Edinburgh....

Yes, an alcoholic haze may be the solution.
Also , underneath their pregnancy they are your friends. But look at me; I could not even go for dinner on Saturday with a pregnant friend.
You do what you gotta do honey - whatever is good for you.
How is the hubby?

do you know what the really shItty thing is? It hasn't even occurred to her how hard this is for me. Never mind, she's emigrating in November.

Hubby ok, still adamant on no more kids. I know that cause he's the one insisting on the condoms!

Have you tried whispering sweet nothings in his ear -in a filthy, I just want you and no artifice between us way?!!They love to feel wanted.
GU - you went to bed hours ago -what are you doing up? Me just ordered 'More Wine!' from reception - only had a wee 25cl bottle from M and S.
Well there you go Bezz - it is shitty for you honey. Very shitty indeed. So you are allowed to moan and cry and, like your DD shouts 'boys' you are allowed to shout 'wine!'

Oh Bezzy - how are you going to manage that? Wine will no doubt help - are you taking DD with you? She will help too.

Busier, I always hated staying alone too. Now I wonder if I would relish a bit of peace. Well not now, cos at the moment I don't have any sort of peace, but in general. Except I wouldn't, cos I don't leave DD...

Condoms - haven't got as far as needing to use them, as still bleeding a bit and still not in right frame of mind - but can't stand the idea. Think would prefer abstinence for now. (Not sure about DH though)

No aubergine pasta as the stupid aubergine turned out to have gone off (never seen an off aubergine before - it was all seedy). Made broad bean, mint and bacon pasta instead, as a huge glut of broad beans had appeared in the veggie box. Today was a DD nursery day so she eats there and we eat after she has gone to bed - other days we eat together and it's less adventurous food.

Still pathologically tired. And can hardly even think about my grandmother. I'm just doing what I can to keep going.

cross-posted with Busier - enjoy your wine sweetie!

See you're corrupting Bezzy with your sweet nothings idea.....

oh BB, that's hilarious!

And yes, 3 preg friends, my 3 closest friends too. GGRRR....must be happy, must be happy...

drunken haze does make me emotional, something all 3 of them have seen before though.

BK x

hello cantdo

Yep DD coming too, like your DD, she goes everywhere with me.

Hope you're feeling ok, you appear to be coping remarkably well considering everything you've been through.

Love to all

BK x

Oh the DDs must come - they are so little. I did not have a night out for years when they little. Induldge in it fully girls; is precious and limited and lovely time.
Cantdo - be slow slow slow with yourself honey

Hi everyone, lovely to hear from so many of you: as I have said before it helps to keep things in perspective. Am knackered and fed up. Mum gone home so DHs folks have to come over tomorrow to look after the girls. I hate not being able to pick up my children. I hate having people screetch at me not to do anything (and at one time my dreams were made of such laziness - be careful what you wish for ) And I hate not being able to relax and wallow in my new invalid status. But most of all I hate the prospect that this is it: no more babies. Boo hiss. I think I probably just need a good night's sleep and a good weep. Night everyone, much love to you all. I hope you are all ok, despite all the cr*p life is throwing at you.
BB hope you had a nice, quiet Molton Brown experience in proxy for us all. cantdo I hope tomorrow is quiet for you shangrila I'm sorry things have gone downhill for you, I hope you feel able to share them with us bezzy, Eulalia, Marj, Becs, Lins (you ok, you're quiet today?), GU, Karya, Brightonbaby, Ilove, JJ, Parvati, Ginga and anyone I've inadvertently forgotten (forgive me) Take care, GB x

Sorry guys I cant get the hang of updating my screenL: it has just shot forward 2 hrs! OMG Bezzy, you poor sod. At least you can pickle nicely whilst they have to abstein. Can't you just bring them some mags/webssites (Blooming Marvelous, Kiddicare etc) and say whilst you are up there you'd really like to see (whatever is on at theatre/movies etc. Make sure you have internet access so we can gve you moral (or, indeed immoral support!) xx

Hello people!!

Am back after 2 weeks away, totally n
unable to access mumsnet as dh phone wouldn't open the threads.

Have thought about you all lots and will catch up. Have flu and a really high temp so can't do it now though.

Hi everyone!

I was thinking, Bez, if your DD is like mine she won't really go for the whole tramping round baby shops - mine likes the ELC where she can wander about and play. Maybe try and avoid the cutesy baby shops like Mamas and Papas and just go to the ones with toddler stuff in too, which tend to be less pastel coloured and more fun?
Oh and eat banned stuff, definitely.

Daft, I really feel for you/with you. Do you have to rest cos of the ectopic? it sounds awful.

Hi Tree - poor you wth flu - looking forward to hearing about your holiday though.

I am not doing well, not really. I am repressing and denying and near-crying a lot. Today seeing lots of my extended family so need to be a bit on form, but DD been up almost all night again so not looking good so far.

Above all I just want to wail, 'why me?' to which I suppose the answer is, 'why not?'

In a rush as got a meeting v soon.

welcome back tree - hope you had a good break but sorry to hear you are ill, come and tell us all about it when you feel better.

BB - I can't find that blasted thread from another forum, will try to look again later.

(((HUG))) Cantdo

later xxx

Cantdo

All you can tell yourself is that you are actually not suposed to bedoing well now. You are supposed to feel angry/shocked/puzzled/alone/overwhelmed/raw/sad/sad/sad

All those here have moved through these stages, and are still doing it - and will for ever. Grey days my love, be good to yourself.

I assume everyone has suggested cashmere in my absence? I have an obsession but I'm not going to get help for it - I think it's a good one to have

Have tonsilitis and temp and moan moan moan.

Hello and welcome to the new names. I'll try and catch up on your stories.

Good luck for today Can't. One day at a time, super human effort for today, then big collapse tomorrow.

welcome back tree! MUCH sympathy with the tonsillitis, I had it just recently and was NASTY, not sure how you're managing with wee Hattie too.

On topic of cashmere, the other day, I accidentally put cashmere sweater in the washing machine. Seems ok, but haven't tried it on...suspect may be midriff now....

BK x

Bummer!

Get another one

BB -Spent too long looking for re-occurrence of regular T21 (at the expense of my disheveled house!). I never found that thread again but it was of no use really anyway as it didn't discuss anyone who had a 3rd DS pregnancy.

However I did find this article which is interesting - 3 families in Kuwait with 3 DS children/pregnancies! However it would appear that consanguinity may play a role here. Even if the article is no use you may be able to get something from the reference list.

The article is here

Must get on and do boring housework!

Wrap up warm tree! Hope you are on the mend soon. xx

Hello everyone

Brief stop as DD is being bathed by Daddy and then Mummy has to put her to bed. By which I mean: read eight books (not sure how she negotiated the eight book thing - we started out with one...), then sit while she dances around the cot in her grobag, telling me about her day, and eventually goes to sleep holding my hand. It's quite a process.

Above all am still tired. But I went to Lakeland today (!) and bought some piping bags and icing nozzles in quest to become Nigella. I'm going to make a batch of chocolate cupcakes first. Start with something I can do, then go further. Was incredibly tempted by the novelty cake tins - the train and the pirate ship are on special offer, but they aren't very girly - I love the cupcake cake tin and the butterfly. But DD loves trains.

Was feeling all happy about that, got home to a message from a friend I've not seen for a while who had two children effortlessly: 'have you thought about number 2 yet? you really should because that would be the best gift you could give DD'. And that made me well up because what if that is something I can't ever give? Obviously I want to try - I HAVE been trying - but after this year, it's not as simple as all that. (The same friend, by the way, was gutted to find she was having a boy, twice. So gutted it was the first thing she told people - 'I'm pregnant, and it's a boy - I wanted a girl, so I'm pretty disappointed' - and after her DS2 was born, she said she didnt want three children but might have another if she could guarantee a girl...

Busier, hope you got home safely and your not so little girl has been behaving herself well. Yes of course discretion is paramount. Says me who has been spilling all myself onto the Internet...

hi everyone else!

Cant - thats a hard thing to hear. for you. I take it she has no idea what has gone on?

May I suggest a Barbie skirt tin - you know the ones that you stick the doll in? I had mega fun decorating that!

oh cantdo I'm sure it's so hard to hear. I've been regularly asked the same question. And hate to admit I've done it to others before tragedy struck my procreation capabilities!

I WANT THE BARBIE SKIRT TIN

How's everybody else? have a good trip BB? Tonsils Tree?

DD has a nasty fever that just won't settle, up at 39.5, pretty scary, but she seems to be coping pretty well, she's limp and not running around, but still chatty and playing with her toys. Am trying not to worry too much.

Keeping fingers crossed for your DD, Bezzy - has her temp gone down? is magic Calpol not doing its trick?

Aha, Barbie cake tin! they don't sell those in Lakeland. Have been googling...

No my friend didnt know - havent seen her since 2006 - she lives in another country now...