support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

The tins are about half way down this page.

Dearest lovely Queen of Cashmere
You are a poorly tree - darling - rotten for you. Hope holiday had good moments in it - I look forward to hearing.
Cantdo and Daftie - God it is so tough. Why me is perfectly understandable. And Daftbat; do try and rest as this period will not last forever and then you will be back in full role.
Eulalia - thank you for post - have not read yet.
Hope you are okay Lins - long time.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening all am on the wine....

Aww your poor dd Bezzy, when did this come on? Is she eating? Keep us posted.

Cantdo - how thoughtless, even if she doesn't know your problems it's just a bit too pushy. Yummy chocolate cupcakes, please bake some for us. I used to do loads of baking but don't seem to have time nowadays but I do always make the kids their own birthday cakes.

bezzy - had to laugh at you above saying, "Tonsils Tree?", it reminds me of something from 'Life of Pi', won't spoil it in case anyone hasn't read it.

Better get something to eat to soak up the wine. Just been vegging with the kids and a DVD and let them eat crisps on the sofa ('cos DH is out and he doesn't let them, shhhh....).

Hello Beeeeee!!

Have pinched dd2 cashmere blanket and wrapped it around me - it's so warm! Am feeling better this evening so am hopefull for recovery tomorrow. It's nice weather and I want to get back to normal after the holidays.

Lovely sunset, bright clouds and light streaming in through old glass making ripples on the wall. SHame about the trafic noise lol!

OH isn't it nice to be home after holidays?
I sometimes think the whole point of going is to make you appreciate being back.
We have missed you and i have tried to pass on your words of advice to the new girls.
Me too on the vino - whats new?

temp was still very high when i put her to bed. Poor little mite. She's not eating, but drinking is ok. Calpol not doing much, brings her temp down to about 38.5 but then soon rockets up again. She did this just before Christmas and then shortly afterwards came down with a cracking cold. Suspect something similar may happen this time too.

'Tonsils tree', yes I now realise there's a certain vital punctuation mark missing! ha!

People pissing me off tonight. Sister, husband. GGRR.

Cross Bezzy x

Poor Bezzy.

Maybe give her neuropen [sp? brain melt] too?

Bezz - me too furious with the world after a three and half hour journey home. LM annoying me too.
Double Grrrrr.
Poor wee gal - hope you manage to get some rest while she is a poorly button. Is very tiring being mummy to a poorly poppet.

Hello

Have tried the nurofen, been alternating with calpol (something i read on the net)...and still...nothing....

These kids have you worrying from the minute of that positive pregnancy test.

BK x

Busier, bezzy and Tree, I hope that you are feeling better soon: and your little one, too, Bezzy: they certainly know how to worry us!

Don't feel like writing, just reading and drinking. Sorry. Bad night and sore today.

Yes, Can't it took 3 cuts to remove whatever they needed to. I look like I've had a C secion combined with somethong else (alien abduction?). Not meant to lift anything heavier than a cup of tea. I figure a big crystal goblet full of decent wine weighs about the same, and helps wash down the codeine (crystal is my casmere, tree ).

Night all

Am trying to remember the routine they gave me on NHS Direct re: Calpol/Nurofen rotation.... Think it goes that Calpol is every 4 hours, and Nurofen is the same, but you rotate? But obviously not exceeding daily limits.

Just got DD a toddler bed. She was so excited this afternoon and took a nap in it, but this evening, she was a bit spooked, and it's been going back upstairs every 10 minutes. She came down a few minutes ago and said that chocolate would make her bear, Dr Feelgood, feel less scared.

Oh daft, how truly awful. Emotional pain is bad, but I can't imagine what it's like when combined with physical pain. Just not fair.

I do like the crystal theory though

am currently laying in bubble bath with MN on phone. Am I a saddo? Wish you all lived nearby so could meet you quickly for drink and cuddle.

BK x

Thanks ilovemy, that's pretty much what I've been doing for her. I've just heard her shuffling in cot so at least know I've hopefully not od'd her!

Have got calpol and thermometer on my dressing table in case of any middle of the night emergencies!

Night all, clean bedding beckons x

Oh Daft I really feel for you. It sounds like it was worse than a C section - at least you can lift a baby after that! when was the surgery?
I like the crystal and wine theory too though. I always found alcohol and painkillers a good combo for bad period pain...

Bezzy, how is mini Bez today? has she come down with the cold? and bath and Mnet is NOT SAD (preferably you also need some wine).

We're going to see some friends with a DD same age as ours today - we used to see them all the time before we moved last year. Will be nice to see them and see the little girls play.

Oh made a crucial error and started reading other threads about antenatal choices, and got cross. I don't have a problem with people having different opinions from me. But what I now know is that nobody can say theoretically 'if I found out my child had xxx I would not terminate, I would be fine with that'. You just dont know beforehand how you'll feel when the world crashes around you. But the you don't know that until you're in the position, and if you're going to have children you do need to consider options like that, so I can see why people do say what they would do - I would have before all of this. It's like I've crossed some kind of divide I didn't even know was there before I got here.

Anyway DD breakfast is calling, so more later. Hope Tree is recovered, Daft's pain is receding and mini Bez is well. And hi to everyone else!

VERY true can't. I never thought I'd terminate a Downs baby. Always thought that DH and I would have serious issues with our relationship should it ever happen, as he was adamant we couldn't cope. However, when I received that dreadful news there was NO doubt in my head what I had to do. I had to do what was right for my family as they have to be my first priority. I suppose in one aspect I'm very grateful that I wasn't undecided. That must be very tough.

DD still very hot but appears to be chirpier. Here's hoping she's on the mend. Thanks everybody for your concern.

BK x

Morning all, just checking into the sick bay, how are the patients? Good to hear mini-bez is a bit perkier.

bezzy - wasn't criticising your punctuation, I just had this image of a tree growing tonsils, euck!, and there was something like that in the book I mentioned.

Cant - oh it isn't good to read those threads and indeed they don't know. Actually while I was browsing stuff yesterday I found a few stories of women who'd kept their Downs babies, one still born, one died at only 3 months. It's only the OK ones that you hear about. Thing is if any of us had terminated at 6 weeks no-one would have batted an eyelid, I just know it didn't hurt my little one,it is only me that is hurting.

Daftbat - how terrible for you to be cut like that, makes it all seem so much more real to be still hurting, is your dh helping out with all the heavy stuff, and just lifting crystal glasses sounds an excellent idea.

Going to a gala in the next village today, I think this is a Scottish term, its a sort of fair with stalls, bouncy castle etc, weather looks good. Have started packing for holiday.

Don't worry Eulalia! I know you weren't picking

I think one is drawn to those threads in spite of knowing they are not good for the recovering soul. I felt uncannily drawn to them and still do. It is so very easy to make clear statements about what you would and would not do when not actually in the postion of having to follow through. Things in real world so much murkier and fudgier and complex and heart breaking.
We are all intelligent, sensitive caring souls who have chosen the least agonising of two agonising decisions. There are no positive outcomes. Decision making is enormous.
After my decisions I found myself incapable of making decisions even re what to eat as if all my decision making had been used up.
Also felt constantly that something bad would happen; cancer, accidents all sorts as life random and painful and unexpected.
Cantdo love - it takes such long long time to even begin to assimilate these experiences into the brain.
Bez - hope mini Bez on the mend honey.
Treetops - hope you are snuggled safely at home with Hat and that next few weeks bring good news for hubby.
Eulalia and Daftbat - have peacefulish day.
Me sneezing violently and snotting my way thrrough day with newly developed hay fever. At 41? Hello?
big girl Teen daughter lovely- blossoming in her newly found love - is kinda nice really. I know his mum too which helps as does not feel like an alien. She working today in a cafe and tomorrow so being responsible little earner which I am proud of.
Father's Day tomorrow - always bit tricky on the emotions for a divorced family. Still cannot believe I am one. Is why I am such a big advocate of you ladies 'dating' your hubbies. V important.
Later on Ron.
XXXXXXXX

Oh Lordy I feel like utter pants. Less shivery etc but I can't swallow without yelping. So have taken to just dribbling into a muslin cloth to avoid!! Argh! Too much information I know.

All I have gleaned in my feeble effort to catch up is that JJF got the news we craved for her. I hope you drop in JJF, I know we all want to hear how it's going. Have you joined your antenatal club thread?

And that Daftbat - you have had some surgery? My brain is pickled so I can't forage my way through the thread as I forget what I set out to achieve as soon as I try but you have my sympathy [if it's not annoying] and will certainly have my ear when they are attached to a head that works. This one I have now is crap. I hope you are physically feeling better?

Bezzy - glad baby-Bez picking up. If she feels anything like me keep tiping the calpol in, it's a bugger!

Hi everyone

Tree - hope you get totally better soon; you have my sympathy.
Oh and DaftBat had a corneal? ectopic, which I'd not heard of but you probably have (she also had a baby stillborn at 25 weeks with the same condition as my Stella, last year).

Busier - hayfever is rubbish, isn't it? I got it in my late teens, and had always previously thought it only affected weaklings...

Well, we had a nice day. DD was funny with her little friend; they kept hugging each other, Teletubby style. But she was too excited to eat so was starving tonight for dinner. These friends are easy to be with as they have one DD too and haven't to my knowledge started trying for number two. She isnt 30 yet so has plenty of time anyway, but it makes it easier because they focus on their DD and don't see any urgency in having a second.

Father's Day tomorrow - is their father good to the kids, Busier? I can imagine it must be hard when you're divorced. I'm not looking forward to it really given recent events - it feels like a slap, almost - but will celebrate it for DH and for my dad!

Soon it'll be bedtime for DD and wine time for me... hope everyone's having a nice Saturday, and Daft - hope those painkillers and gin are working!

Oh DaftBat. for you. Bet you feel like you've been hit with a cricket bat with the surgery. I'm guessing from the few posts I have got my head around that you had an open tummy op [laparotomy], rather than key hole style [laparoscopy]. Those ectopics are very surgically difficult so I wouldn't be surprised. I'm sorry you lost this baby this way. You must be floored.
Am so sorry you lost your baby last year.

Thanks for that Cantdo. Glad you had a good day out. Did you find it hard to go, or was it ok?

I found it fine to go there, but had she been pregnant or just had a second, I probably wouldn't have! It was fine as it was all about the two little girls who get on really well.

That surgery sounds horrible. I didnt realize ectopics were so awful (I don't know anyone in RL who's had one). What heartache and horror we go through. But it's worth it if we can have a healthy baby.

Wine time now for me, I think.

Oh dear sorry to hear of the sneezing BB and huge tonsils tree. I used to suffer a lot from tonsillitis as as a kid. Hot toddy perhaps?

It's the summer solstice as well, not celebrating as such, my friend usually has a party but she's gone to Glastonbury this year. At this time of year I think we have nearly an hour more daylight here (than S England) and in Orkney which is another 200 miles north from here it hardly gets dark at all. They have a long tradition of midnight golf sessions in June. There's a good photo here - midnight golf in Orkney

Would love to go to Orkney but the ferry is quite expensive.

Am busy tomorrow so dh getting no treats. Already visited my dad with card and small gift. Will make up for it to dh next Sunday instead when on holiday.

Enjoy your wine/Calpol or other 'medicine'.

Hi Eulalia! Love the longest day, but am also a bit down at the idea the days will get short again=autumn=winter=Jan and Feb. I really don't get on with Jan and Feb. At all.

Ectopics are awful awful awful. I've only been around one woman who presented with a possible ectopic - as they wouldn't normally come to my area - and it was proper scary stuff. And thats before you reflect that it isn't just a surgical emergency, its a baby.

Big hugs for DaftBat. And all.