support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

50k - yes is ridiculous amount of money.I had no idea - some of it was unpaid tax bill, quite alot I think, credit cards, overdraft, unpaid work bills. In fact it was way more than 50. He was declared bankrupt after he moved out. I then had to pay him everything that I owed. As a result of the divorce settlement I got the house - and he does not have to pay maintenance. He never would have paid it. But part of the settlement was that when my youngest reached 16 I had to pay 50k to him.
As a result of the bankruptcy, the lawyers for the trustee in bankruptcy seek out all money owed to the bankrupt person and that legal postion outweighs family law. If I had not paid they could have taken the house.
Needless to say, I am NEVER overdrawn and have never had a credit card.
The stress was overwhelming quite frankly.

Shangrila - I have been meaning to CAT you for so long but have not registered myself yet - sometimes these things are just not made time for. I would dearly love to talk to you. I know the hell you have been through and if it is not too traumatic, I would appreciate sharing mine too.
It would certainly seem the folate thing is linked and I have stopped taking it. I have stopped because, like you, I could not face another Tx - I just could not.
But you have given me hope love. Hope is all i need to get me through it. I dread to think what torture you have been through in the last 8 weeks or so. I am proud of you for negotiating a way through it - your sense and sensibilty has prevailed and look where you now are. Just look!
Well done to you - and congratulations on your pregnancy Shangrila. It is just wonderful and miraculous and deserved.
Truly.
Can I ask one more thing - if I started taking a higher dose today, how long should I wait before trying? I promise not to sulk if it does not work. God knows what I would do, but sulking will not be the response.
Maybe, just maybe, is worth a shot for him. He has been my rock, my saviour, my Scottish knight in armour.
kisses to all my lovely nutters
Bee xxxxxx

Hi Bee

How you coped with that level of stress I do not know! that must be awful. Well done for moving on.

As for the folic acid, the story is compelling. It isn't I think appropriate to me but it may well be for you and should give you hope. No idea how long you need to take it for, though, maybe Shangrila can advise.

Going away tomorrow and need to pack - eek!

Oh Bee, I of course immediately thought of you when I read Shangrila's account. It does throw some hope your way. And us being the same age ( I think I got that right?) has made me think a bit too but only for about a second. If I counted correctly you've had 5 unsuccessful pregnancies Shangrila? You SO need this pregnancy to go well. Um, need to go just not getting any peace this evening.

And weather report, it is absolutely pissing it down in the NE of Scotland as well!

Prob not back again this evening so have a good break Cantdo and anyone else holidaying. Hope it stops raining!

Cantdo
Happy holidays love- may we ask which sliver of the country you are displacing self to?
Hope you are packing your bouillon, garlic, basil, saffron threads and extract of vanilla.
When on holiday in Wales last year, the local supermarket was less than super. It was truly like the supermarkets of my childhood. No spices, no herbs and nothing, you know, FOREIGN. I imagined myself cooking up exotic dishes for my loved ones. We ended up eating fish and chips and pasta and pesto.
So, my advice?
Stock up on the domestic goddess essentials.
Have fun and do try and keep in touch - I will be mainlining folic acid. Do you think it it possible to OD?
Bumbly Bee

Wow Bee!

Is this a shift in feeling for you then? Have you told LM of your recent thoughts?

I have swine flu. Apparently maybe .

Tree!!! swine flu!!! this thread is catching the flu like the trend for camping. Take care.

Bee, what a seachange for you. You go girl with that folic acid....

Off to the Lake District, ish. In the monsoon. Delightful...

Tree - swine flu - oh lordy. So wrap up in bed, with that wee baby, drink lots of fluids (I am the nurse now, forget that you are a midwife) and get that man to care for you.
Have I changed my tune?
God, I don't even know anymore; it seems I never had a tune. I have never reached a decision; basically I am in recovery and no decision can be made in recovery.
But Shangrila gives me hope. And that is a precious and vital, vital thing for me. I can not try to try without hope - even if it ends badly - I can not even begin the journey without hope. Do you see, kind folk?
So- still no decision but a glimmer of the key thing.
Boy oh boy oh boy.
I have had two glasses of the red stuff - so can i just say, I do love you guys.
Really.

I see BB. It's a mega mega thing.

Go with your heart, follow your nose. The stats are bastards [as we know - and excuse language ]

Oink

Dear Piggy
What are your symptoms?
Have you a curly tail?
I am sitting on the sofa, little boy at his idiot dad's house, big girl been dropped off with tight black mini skirt and bigger boobs than I could even dream of, middle boy upstairs with four other darling eleven year olds, lodger getting ready to go out and keeps asking advicer about love life., LM out with friend for dinner.
Strangely have not actually swallowed the FA yet - denial is a strange and comforting spot to be in
Think may buy self ridiculous, self indulgent bit of old crap from filmflex and have a weep.
Tree - my long time poster pal, take care and hope to visit you some day soon.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeee
Buzz buzz

I have a tail.

I also have a feckin huge trotter. I was soooooo worried about having to ring the mums I saw today at preschool. When one said 'oh I think we may have it too' I shouted out.......ready....?

'OH THANK GOD'

Now what I meant was 'Oh thank Lord you aren't going to stone me and shun me in the street, you see that this is everywhere and that really I could have not rung you as this is pandemic, and thank you for saying that that is reassuring that I am not the source of all illness from this day forth...'

Hell.

You two are funny.

Seriously, how come you are well enough to post, Tree? I hope your little ones are okay.

Bee - swallow that tablet! it doesn't matter if you decide not to try again, what matters is that you need to take the tablet in case you do.

I am in recovery now too. And I get it about hope. I am in hope too. And in terror. And am on glass two of red wine as well.

I wish we could have that cottage, and share dsome wine and care...

Ah, tree, thank you for making me laugh this evening.

Just wanted to say I'm so happy for you Shangrila...and all the others here that it's given hope to.

Evening everybody. I think I might join you in a glass of red, Bee.

As I have said earlier- I like my particular version of flu. Wine flu. Can be very painful and people have died from it you know.

Gals
I am on number three and have taken the 5mg version of things.
Am watching the world's most trashy film - Bride Wars. Bride Wars! How ridiculous - wish we were all watching it really.

Swine flu isn't too bad actually. It isn't any where near as bad as the tonsil attack I had. I feel rough, but not so rough I can't mumsnet. I have half hours where I have to lie down and groan, but then I have half hours where can eat and drink and get up

I ache though. Yak.

Oh Bee. I wish I knew what the future held........

Yay Busy got to be prepared, just in case.

Tree, how did they confirm it was swine flu and not just normal flu?

Ladies - check out the thread 'Diagnosis of lethal condition' next to this one, and support NumptyMum if you see this.

Off to bed. Glad swineflu isn;t as bad as it's cracked up to be!

They don't! It's all a bit wierd. If you cough and have a temp plus some others then it's assumed as it's now the most common bug in circulation apparently So I might just have a bit of a cold.......

My bloody film just froze and will not work after 23 minutes so have switched to Glastonbury on BBC3. Cantdo just read Numpty post and your response to her. So very sad for her. And for you too darling.
Will send her wee message - and me too off to bed. Three glasses enough for me really.
Brighton Baby - you okay honey? How are your spirits? How is your lovely man and are you considering trying yet?
kisses mums

Quickest of messages from my phone in bed. DD is a bit grotty and has been irritable all night, so I am on watch. I I so sympathize with GO and tree and hope that you and your families are both tip top again asap. Rest up (yes, some chance I know! ) and lots of ice cold water. Same goes for anyone else who's grotty.

BB, I'm really dropping by to say that you are always welcome to mull things through with me, anytime. I'm away for the weekend - see, I admitted to being too much of a part timer here. You are all much better correspondents than me. Anyway, in answer to your question, I've always worked on 5mg for 6 months. I laugh wryly when I type that as DD aside, this has yet to get me through to a successful full term pregnancy. But, equally I haven't ended up with a pregnancy compromised by T21 on those occasions. As I said, my total lack of medical quals aside, it gets my vote. But that's just me.

Wales is going to get a good old soaking this weekend. Hope it's brighter - actually and emotionally wherever you all are. Night. xxx

Hope it's doesn't get too bad, Tree. Lots of fluids and rest.

Busier, you are such a kind and lovely person - your words are so gentle. This week, I've been feeling totally lost and foggy. Then, I feel so angry with myself for feeling that way. I know that so many others here have had much more heartbreak than me and yet have been so much stronger than I could ever be. I don't know how I could complain. I am haunted by the memory of having to have the operation on the day of my wedding. I just keep thinking that if this hadn't happened, I would be 23 weeks and married now and instead...well...

...instead, I'm on my own all day and grieving alone and then hating myself for feeling so miserable. For the past three years, my OH and I have worked together from home. Three weeks ago, he got a 'normal' office job. So, now I am on my own all day and job-hunting like mad. I am not very good at being on my own and I keep thinking it would have been much easier to bear if I could have been pg. Then, the loneliness wouldn't have been so magnified and I would have had something to concentrate on, prepare for and look forward to. None of these are helpful thoughts, I know. They only lead to tears. The only way and am able to feel all right and more positive is to distract myself.

I've just spoken to a friend who has reminded me of all the good things I have to look forward to, and got me re-enthused about planning my wedding in September. I feel I can breathe again after sort of holding my breath all this week and waiting to fall apart properly. Isn't it funny how someone can just say something in the right way and you feel rescued. I'm going to sneak off to bed with a book now.

Oh, Busier, thank you for asking and I'm sorry if I've gone on and on about myself. I sound so self-indulgent. It's only been because I've been on my own and had a chance to wallow. I'm not really so self-absorbed. I am doing my best to pull myself out if this place.

Love to everyone. xx Night all xx

Brighton - now be reeeeaaaal careful or I make you sit on the cottage sofa and get my wedding album out.

I luuurve a good wedding album. Especially my own You can look at mine on photobox and think about how much better yours will be, more tasteful, how much prettier you will be, how nice your flowers will look, how your tables will be more elegant - thats what everyone does when they are planning!

here some snaps of my day, in no particular order

But do feel free to not bother! It's great your friend was able to say the right stuff and help you out tonight. I'm sorry you have had a hard week, it must be a huge change to have dh out of the house. Enjoy the book in bed = bliss.

And I never said welcome to luckywinner

Gosh sorry about that!

When is your next scan? Hope you are ok and have someone about you this weekend?