support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

Hi all!

Love the idea of a virtual picnic

Cant - you have insight then. That's why I am here I think, I am not afraid iyswim? Sometimes I hate my insight into life, it's scary knowing what really matters. Because what really matter are the things I have absolutely no ownership of and no control over. Bugger.

BB...er....oo-ay la garrrrrr

Blimey - just realised that whilst I could ask how you are doing and make GCSE chit chat, I have no idea how to write it. So not much difference between French and English for me then

So hard for the boys, just as hard in different way [depending on your style of man] Men fix, they make us feel better by doing something. There is nothing to be done here, and often silence and nothingness is the biggest comfort. Waaaay outside many men's comfort zone. Sweeping generalisations allowed here

There is a dad zone on mn no? I bet if one of the boys strayed in there and started a thread ther would be support to be had. In amongst discussion on shelf hanging and engine size.

Hows the morning sickness GU?

Ooooo took me loads of attempts to get that message to post. Hope my mn isn't going to go wobbly on me.

Glad there is some improvement, but hope it doesn't linger too much longer. Awful thing.

Lovely accent, Busier. It's not easy to write on a French keyboard.

Thanks for your words everybody.

Hope pelvicflawed and daftbat are doing ok. And Cantdo, Your work sounds tough, but a good lesson to learn that supporting others can help keep oneself going. Thanks for all your kind words and for the warning re. first period too. It's been 4 weeks now, I think (I can no longer look at my calendar because I'd labelled it all the way to my due date, silly me). I know you said it could be heavy, but I'm hoping it'll come soon. I thought my low mood this week might have been a prelude to it.

Eulalia, I love your virtual picnic idea. Wish we could do it for real. I think it could be nice.

Btw, what does pre-implantation mean? I'm giving away my ignorance, aren't I?

Reporting from my neck of the woods, Brighton is beach full and sun drenched today. I'm off soon for a seaside kebab Hope everyone has a good saturday.

What? It's thick fog here.

I relly want to live either in the South, or in a city. Or both.

Maybe dp could replace the calender quitely?

Pre-implantation generally means the time between conception, and the embryo implanting in the womb and setting up shop so to speak.

Hi all

LOVE the name Captain Condom! Hope you and he are getting on better today Bezzy.

Brightonbaby, I'm jealous - it's foggy here too, like with Tree. Sigh...

My period came after 27 days last time. I had hardly stopped bleeding actually - had about 10 days not bleeding, then it came. I was utterly shocked that it had come so soon. But consultant had said any time between 4-8 weeks. I am sure it won't be four weeks this time; I can see it being a lot longer.

Been shopping today. Got some new bras - benefit of no longer bf or being pregnant - and a top and some GORGEOUS shoes. Pink suede heeled ones from Office. Very impractical for life with a toddler so I need to go out.

I'd like a picnic too. Shame we seem so geographically distant! From Eulalia to Brightonbaby, we cover an impressive distance.

Trying trying not to be sad today. Weekends can be hard...

OOoohh Shoes!!! And pink ones. With heels!! OOoh la la.
Well done Cantdo for shopping - sometimes makes me feel all stressy to shop.
Pre-implantation Diagnosis - is like IVF , they fertilise outside the womb, check for genetic conditions and put it back again. Better for things like cystic fibrosis, not recommended for T21.
The french for johnnies is les preservatifs!
And no, I will not tell you how i know that.
Good luck Bezz - with Captain Condom and the talk.
He will come around am sure- they find it hard to understand the urgency I think.
I have spent afternoon chatting with my dear friend on sofa with Evian mountain in background about my LM andtrying again and whether we could cope with the possibilities that may arise. Feels as tough as trying to climb Evian mountain at the moment.
Wish the virtual picnic were a reality - one day maybe - we could have a Southern and northern one and send each other piccies.
Hope everyone doing okay - everyone hold hands now and say Ohhmmmm.

Busier - I asked if there were 'preservatifs' in some bread once in France... you can imagine the reaction I got...

What I think about trying again, is that can anything be worse than what we've already had? I've gone through hell twice. But what holds me back is DD. I know that early pregnancy makes me nauseous, sick, tired, and the last twice I've had early bleeding and had to have extra scans and rest. Then the anxiety over the scans etc on top, and I am sure I am not as good a mummy when I am pregnant as when I am not. But that is outweighed by the urgency...

Shoes: www.office.co.uk/womens/office/jelly_trifle/33/5957/16185/1/

Busier, Switzerland sounds so lovely! are you all there or are you solo?

Aha! the link worked. They were down to £30 when I got them.

NO kiddies Cantdo. Me and my friend - separated from her husband - her two sprogs- Babysitter here now and we off to see Joe Jackson and then to a little boite to dance to Michael Jackson and I do lurve to shake my booty.
Am here til Monday and tomorrow am doing my favourite ever thing. We are going to a place called Lavey-les-bains - one of those outdoor spa, natural sodium, heated places. Cheap as chips here. She is a Londoner my friend - from university days - and married a Swiss guy. Big mistake.
But is gorgeous and she has fab network of pals.
The shoes!! The shoes- can I copy?
I know what you mean- have been thru it twice, can do it again. But will I cope a third time? Is it reckless?
Qui sait?

That sounds fun, Busier. Did you have a good time? I was always amused by boites in France (I know you're in Switzerland, wonder if they are the same) - there was always an odd mix of ages, from kids to toothless grandads.
And today sounds lovely.

Here, the sleep wrecker effectively kept me up half the night and then decided to get up at 5.45 despite that. It feels like lunchtime already....

Sympathies, GU. I could do the early morning without the frequent nighttime wakings (I get up at six anyway in the week and would never lie in past seven) but both is a killer.

Softplay this morning to tire her out!!!

Morning all!

Sorry to hear we have some tired mummies today. Boo.

Had a fab day yesterday sun was blazing and had a BBQ with neighbours and their kids. Kids all got on great and were very cute. DD has taken to calling friends 6 year old boy 'BOY' very cute. Then once kids asleep went to gym at 9 pm with same neighbour to swim, sauna jacuzzi etc then on to pub was perfect day.

Then to top it off Capt C announced (completely unprovoked) that DD needs a sibling!

Watch this space...........

Morning Mumsnutters
Bezz! Yay yay and again Yay!
That is great news- let him get there himself. Excellent.
Captain Condom comes from Captain Underpants, a book for boys of around 6 and over. A superhero who captures baddies and gives them a wedgie.
Captain Condom; dressed head to toe of course in... RUBBER SUIT. Spots wanton women trying desperately to seduce level headed men into unprotective sex in order to get baby. He swoops down from the skies and slides a super strength condom over their little friends.
Ha! Another pregnancy avoided.
I had the night of my life people.
After Joe Jackson - the man was an accomplished genius- went to a disco. Was by far the oldest there- but friend and I danced our little socks off to Michael Jackson, Bony M etc. Formation dancing the lot. Thought i would expire with exhaustion. And get this - was chatted up by rather dishy French guy from Paris - must have been in mid twenties!!!!
Had to explain was in fact aged old hag with three kids. But did oodles for confidence. Texted daughter and she thought it was the funniest thing , altho expect if she had been there I would have been escorted off premises.
Have not had such fun in ages. Fun is such a healer.
Have a good day Mumsnutters.
Annual thread knees up to be arranged for christmas.
Bee

And GU - how are you managing with this sleep deprivation love? Can you get a kip this afternoon? And Cantdo why are you up so early - is it your wee one?
I remember it well - The utter worn outness of small children.
Did not mean to show off bout frenchman! The lighting in these places has a lot to answer for I suspect - it was just very very amusing. I am forty two nearly.
Suspect this may be my last ever shindig in a boite and my last ever chat up.
Anyways ladies - try and get some rest today.
Again Bezz - i am more than chuffed for you babes.
Get shagging!

GO BUSY GO! You're night out sounds so much fun. Strongly doubt you were the eldest or that the lighting was poor......

Capt Condom story was hilarious, sure you weren't on more than the pop last night?! Sounds like you should be writing stories for In the Night Garden! (bizarre kids cartoon where writers are clearly on some kind of medication...)

Back to the task at hand now...all of a sudden feeling v worried and scared. I know it's pointless as it really is beyond my control, just can't help self.

Love to all of you lovely ladies xx

Your not you're...i hate that error!

Busier I am always up early!

Oh I love the Captain Condom story. I love all your stories, Busier. And am impressed by your pulling power.

Bezzy - hurrah! Do we need to rename Captain C now? Actually your most recent message made me laugh - when you said 'Back to the task at hand now' talking about TTC it sounded a bit like you were halfway through and had a break to talk to us! Only joking. I am really happy for you and I am watching this space. Only natural to be scared - terrified even - but no reason to be; statistics are on your side. And we will be with you all the way!

Anyone for cake? Friends were meant to come but she was sick so they couldn't. Before they cancelled I made a chocolate cake a la Nigella. Chocolate cake all round then.

Shattered tonight cos DD's sleeping is so bad. Have bought lots of stinky cheese and wine to knock myself out with after she goes to bed...

Hello Cantdo and Bezz - believe me I was very much the oldest there. Mostly girls in bra tops and hotpants. The happy thing though comes from losing myself in the dancing. My friend was explaining that when we lose ourselves in physical activity - and I never do sport EVER- dancing being one of them and What Bezzy is Up To being another! - our left and right side of brain is suspended and we are not thinking. I have done so much thinking in the last eight months - we all have- I have worn myself out with it. Truly. So to lose myself like that was so... healing. A bit of me, of Busier, not to do with babies and decisions.
And then today- at the risk of taunting you all - have been to Mumsnutter heaven. I wish we could all be transported there right now. Lavey les bains is a municipal outdoor natural, sodium saturated spa -only 13 quid or so to get in. Not like the ridiculous spas for the overprivilged that we have in Blighty. I love that it is for everyone.
So there are three or four huge pools with bath warm water, fountains and squirters everywhere and wonderful areas where you lie on a bed of powerful jets that pummel your tender, stressed body whilst all around you are mountains and blue skies. I cried. I actually cried with the realisation of how much i have been hurting. Such terrible, raw pain. And sorrow and everything clouded by the loss. It felt clear, clear and beautiful and alive and that we are lucky to be alive and that life is short and precious. If also very painful.
Gu - you need to be there. And Cantdo and Tree and Marj and Brighton Babz and PF and Bezzy (if you can spare the time!). So healing. Who needs Molton Brown?

So I have been gently brought back to a version of myself I recognise by the presence of a dear intuitive friend and some treats for the body and soul.
Does not mean i will not crash again - but I know I will recover.
Bezz - is very scary trying again darling.
But have fun doing it and remember the odds are so very enormously on your side. Statistically - this thread has has a fair share of two time nightmares so i think that we will not get anymore.
See how I need to talk to you all still - even though am on holiday? Feel that the whole journey needs to be shared so that newer women can see that it is possible to find joy again. And also... I kinda like you guys!
xxxxxx

OH BB your weekend sounds amazing! Where in Switzerland were you? Have been to a couple of places there back in my travelling days, and found it to be a great country. Capt C also spent a lot of time working in Zurich and reckoned he could live there. Are you still there now?

Can't, you can send some cake this way! Am greedy for cake, but only since I was pregnant with DD, funnily wasn't fussed about cake before then. Oh, and fear not, I wasn't in the middle of 'that' task while I was typing earlier. Know I'm an MN addict, but think that'd be taking it too far!

Sorry to hear the sleep is sooo bad. It takes over your life and you become obsessed. I found myself telling strangers that I'd had no sleep, which always left me open for cashiers and old ladies giving me their perfect solution that ALWAYS works....Like SURE I've NEVER tried giving her a bath before bed....and SURE I've NEVER used a strict routine...makes me cross just thinking about it!

DD had a MEGA nap this afternoon (big swim session this morn) which was pleasant while she was snoozing, but now she's not ready for bed...and I'm ready for wine...

Where's everybody else? Hope silence = Happiness

BB - if you speak to Linds and her pins, please pass on my love

BK xx

Hi all, I am still here. I do read, but feel so overwhelmed by life (or that should read pregnancy!) that I can't quite write stuff. But I am thinking of you all and following the stories...

Go Bezz, go! Scary I know, but fingers firmly crossed for you.

GU, glad the morning sickness is slightly better. Did you have a 12 week scan? I am probably averagely sick this time, which throws in to stark relief how massively and awfully ill I was when preg with Daisy. I am trying to convince myself that I was ill because she was ill...and that this time it will all be ok..

Can'tdo, you've had lots of up and downs recently haven't you. It is still early days for you, and I am glad you are on here and getting support. big hugs. xxx

Bee, your weekend sounds lovely and very healing. And you are SO not an old hag. It's funny when something is so nice it makes you cry. It's the release of emotion...very envious of spa, but probably wouldn't be allowed to go there at present.

Hello to Brightonbaby, Tree, Eulalia, Ilovemy, and everyone else.

Big sympathies to all the tired Mummies, I've gone through patches like that with Dd. She will be three (three!! where did that go?) in sept and bedtimes are becoming a wee bit easier, but it's taken this long. And mornings...she has a 'magic lamp' (lamp cunningly put on a timer switch) and until it goes on she has to 'roll over and go back to sleep' - a message we repeat often but seems to work. Once is goes on, (6.45) then she is allowed to get out of bed, play, call us, etc. It mostly works, and even if she does summon us at 5am, I firmly repeat the 'roll over and GO BACK TO SLEEP' bit anyway. It's better that it was! yawn...

I am not sleeping so well anyway, due to tummy ache. I always get this when preg, a kind of irritable-bowel -bloated-pain (sorry, tmi!) but it keeps me awake in the small hours. Prob stress doesn't help.
After I gave birth to Daisy I had awful tummy ache/bloat and the lovely nurse gave me some peppermint stuff mixed with a little hot water. It wasn't a medicine, just peppermint something, but I'd love to know what it was. Not peppermint essence. Oil? Extract? anyone know?

Wishing you all a lovely week in the sunshine, hope you are all getting lots of cuddles and TLC.

Love Lins xx

p.s couldn't possibly comment on the lovely 'pins' bit! That would be vain. But maybe they were ok in my youth!!