support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

Lovely to hear from you Lins! Completely understand that you're feeling rubbish and a bit overwhelmed (ok very).

Just want to say that I'm thinking of you and hoping the next few weeks fly by for you. How many weeks are you now?

Have you tried peppermint tea? Tastes vile but works for me when i have a dodgy tum (i'm one of those people that throws up for no apparent reason)

Take care Lins

BK x

Hi Lins! Thinking positive thoughts for you too - glad you are less sick this time - and no idea on the mint as mint made me very vomity last time around, but try whatever works!

Bezzy, did DD go to bed in the end?

Busier, your day sounds idyllic. Utterly lovely.

Mine ends here. I am thoroughly exhausted. Love the idea of the clock, Lins. Not sure DD would get it though - but she is younger than your DD. I have had some cake - it was very good if I dare say so myself. The end of another week of coping - soon I will believe it myself!

Hi to everyone else, hopefully having too good a weekend to talk!

Yes still here and am in Lausanne. Leaving later on today.
Back to the real world.
Lins darling - so glad to hear from you here. You must be tired and fraught lovey - and I am so nervous and excited for you. Can not believe you are nearly there. Seems only few weeks ago you told me. Going to be okay - I feel it.
Sending you enormous cuddles.
Let`s have a virtual spa soon - you can dangle your lovely legs over the edge!

big kisses to you all - hope this week bright and hopeful.
Hello to PF if you are reading. Do reach out to us if and when you feel strong enough or just read and read.
Off to supermarket to get mountains of chocolate for kiddies.
Bezz?? Are you enjoying self!?
Bee

Good morning all. Hope the sleep was better last night. DD was wailing at 3 this morning, not sure what about. Didn't go in and luckily she stopped. Poor thing, must have been a bad dream. (If I go in, it's impossible leaving again, have a nice little facility on her monitor which allows me to talk to her, so just say 'sshhh' without actually stepping into her room and that seems to do the trick)

Anyway, wishing a good day to you all
BK x

having a lovely time thanks Busier!

Safe trip

BK x

Hi GU

It's this one (my links never seem to work properly, here's hoping)

Baby monitor

I swear this is the gadget that helped me get DD sleeping through.

BK x

Hey GU I'm a great believer in what works for you. If someone had told me that standing on my head and whistling yankee doodle would have got her to sleep, I would have done it!

Aha, monitors. Ours is a BT one that does what yours does, Bezzy. However it does not have the desired effect. DD hears my voice, sees I'm not there and starts shouting 'Mama, mama, mama?' Actually she needs her hand holding so it'd need to be combined with a fake hand.

Well, I am full of cake! Can one freeze slices of a fully iced Nigella creation?? I assume not.

Does anyone else feel that everyone else they see is pregnant at the moment? Utterly irrationally, I have started suspecting everyone of being pregnant and peering at their plate (in hope of seeing seafood or runny cheese) or their glass (wine-spotting) or their tummies (poor things, they probably get a weight complex after seeing me). It's not something I am proud of. It isn't that I resent them being pregnant but I do struggle with it somewhere in my head. Spose I haven't adjusted to not being pregnant myself...

How're you all doing? did you get home okay, Busier?

I too suffer from the pregnancy obsession. And if I remember correctly I suffered from it after my miscarriage too.

3 of my closest friends are pregnant, another friend is expecting identical twins and virtually every mother at all of the classes that DD goes to. I too stare at boobs and bellies and check to see what people are drinking.

Glad to hear it's not just me!

I got really cross last week at DDs singing lesson when a woman announced that she was 12 weeks. I thought to myself 'you stupid cow, how can you tell people now, you don't know what you've got coming'. My malicious thoughts scare me.

Bk x

Glad it's not just me. Do you find though that you are genuinely happy for the people who've been through trouble like us? As in I am rooting so strongly for all of you to get pregnant again and for it to go according to plan. I just struggle with the complacent people who assume that everything will be straightforward.

My SIL announced her pregnancy the first time around at 4 weeks. She cried at 20 weeks that her baby was a girl, had wanted a boy. Second time around she didn't even realize she was pregnant till she was five months - no folic acid, and had been drinking, eating banned foods, etc. Everything was absolutely fine. Everything usually is fine. We are the statistics, the 1 in whatever that went wrong. I've never been a statistic before like that.

It's so hard. We're doing well, aren't we, t still be keeping going and having a sense of humour?

Hugs to Pelvicflawed if you're reading, and Katerina, and Shangrila who was having a hard time. And hi to everyone.

Can't our thoughts are exactly the same and I suspect the same as everyone here.

I just try and tell myself that there are worse statistics to be the 1 of. If that makes sense?

Agreed it could be far, far worse.

Friends of a friend: had a little girl aged 18 months, pregnant with next child on way, found out first child had leukaemia, baby came very prematurely (result of shock) and died a week or two after birth. Meanwhile older girl was in hospital being treated for leukaemia, had a bad reaction and died. Then to cap it all off three months later, as the parents struggled with intense and horrid grief, the husband had a heart attack and died. Now this woman is all alone, having lost her 2 children and her DH.

Yes, we are lucky, in a way.

-- Can't's friend!

Re: Monitor. Definitely. DS sleeps on the 3rd floor and one cannot hear him on the ground floor. If it wasn't for the monitor, wouldn't have heard him choking

oh my goodness, what a truly awful story. The poor poor woman. Nobody deserves anything as terrible as that.

Just received an email from DHs cousin (who lives in South Africa) she's 18 and has asked if she can come stay with us over Christmas for....3 MONTHS! Oh hell. Thing that worries me the most is that I'm hoping to be pregnant by then, and not sure I'll want to be dealing with a teenage child too! We also were thinking of going to SA for Christmas, but were undecided, I guess we need to decide quickly. hmmm

BK x

Cantdo, Bezzy, I have the same thoughts re. pregant women. I stare at everyone's stomach...especially the ones who are obviously pg and the ones who might or might not be pg.

One thing that happened this weekend. Saturday night, just before we were about to go out for drinks, my OH met up with one of his friends who announced his gf was 14 weeks. My OH hadn't tell him what happened to us and the moment passed...so he just listened to his friend talk about scans, tests and names etc. as if it was the first time he'd heard about it all. He was a bit upset when he got home (he felt it should have/could have been him doing the telling) and it made me sad to think what I'm missing out on...i.e. being pg alongside friends...they are all beginning to fall now (I'm 31) That's early isn't it...I know, but it seems to be that it's on everyone's mind.

Cantdo, I understand totally when you say you've never been a statistic before. I still can't fathom how I can be one of the 1/100...it had never entered my mind before that 1/100 is a worry. But, I guess when you consider how many pg women there are about, that 1 translates to quite a significant number.

I just saw what you posted happened to your friend! How incredibly sad. How can all that happen to one person!?

Btw, I'm taking in all your DC monitor chat. Part of me wants to make a list of all the advice and links you put up for dealing with sleeping problems/toddler issus, for when I'll need it in the future. Now, that's got to be positive thinking

Hi all, popping in but can't stop as life is a bit..lifelike...this evening! Should be back tomorrow.

Can't's friend. How does a person come back from that?

Linspins-peppermint water. A good old fashioned chemist would have it. Put some warm water in to taste and sorted!

Be back for proper chats soon.

Brightonbabes, I suspect we'll all still be in touch, when we're all having sleepless nights and complaining of cracked nipples!

We'll need to swap emails or set up an FB group or something!

I suddenly got all panicky imagining you all disappearing and leaving me! we can stay in touch even when the new babies come [power of positive thinking - I like your style, Brightonbabe!].

Should have made it clearer: that was friend of a friend, rather than my friend, that this happened to. Not sure if there is any way to get past that tbh. And I have to count my blessings when I think of her.

Brighton - what a horrid ordeal for your DP. It will be your turn soon, I am sure. Any sign of the missing period yet?

Anyone else been watching Murray? seems to be back on track a bit more now - was all going wrong at the start, and still not done and dusted, is it?

Got some cookery books from thebookpeople today. Fay Ripley's - it looks great - and two baking books that I probably don't need. I'm comforting myself...

I'm watching Murray!!! What a nailbiter! Do you think his VERY pretty girlfriend is with him for his looks? hmmm...dubious....

I agree with Can't, it's so hard for these poor boys. They need to be rocks for us, but are also dealing with their own demons.

Capt C still not in from work, suspect he's avoiding the 'task' ha ha ha ha!

Hello to everyone, hope you're all ok xxx

Wow, it's still so hot! at half ten!!

I like the email swapping/fb idea, Bezz.

Ah, baking, baking...I love it...seems to be a slight theme on here. I reckon it's really therapeutic. I've been a bit obsessed with making the perfect banana cake recently...throwing everything at it, chopped hazelnuts, cranberries, sultanas and dark chocolate shavings...to heck with the recipe!

No, Cantdo, no period yet I feel like I'm on the pill or something. No spots, no bloat, nothing.

Go Murray! Why do these British players have to put us through it, every time?!

Love to everyone on this warm evening. Another week, another few pages on MN. We'll be ok!!!!!

Do you use FB brightonbabe?

Brighton Babe - good heavens above re your friend of a friend. Is beyond endurance. I hope she has some way of connecting with like minded souls. How does one make sense of that? How not to feel punished?
Ladies - after my weekend of rest I feel very caring towards you all (well I always do) but I mean that am sure you will all get what you deserve baby wise. BB2 you are young,young, young. There is so much time - and whilst the sadnesss will always be part of you, you will love your baby to come so devotedly. Bezz - is only a matter of time. And Cantdo - you are doing so well lovey. YOu really are. I love your voice here and feel ( and hope-) that you are the long term committed like me.
I can not reiterate often enough how vital you all are to me. I value this spot so much.Re baking - I am another baker - and do love a good old banana bread - and yes yes to chocolate bits in there for good measure.
Murray Mint - the phrase 'skin of teeth' springs to mind but yes you gotta be pleased. The girlfriend? What was with the Farrah Fawcet hair?
Night busy folk
Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ps Bezz - do you think it is okay to swill down the Folic acid with copious amounts of vino?
Also re the teenager coming to visit - she may be one of those sweet ones who likes playing with tots and may be a godsend. Then again she may be like my teenager and mostly like, whatever, dunno, tired.