support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

[brightonbaby]

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

Oh love. Your poor DH. I was so devastated by my LM's pain and loss. I know what you mean about trying again.
And you are right of course - the sooner the better. Give yourself maybe 4 weeks to not even think about it for a bit - if you can. You must be in such shock. If you want to speak by email or in person by more private means- do CAT me.
I am so glad you have a little boy. It is precious and thank goodness.
Hold on tight to each other.
I remember you well from my first thread.
Goodnight my dear and sleep if you can.
All thoughts
BEE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello all, sorry not been on for a couple of days...bit manic here at the mo....

cantdo So glad your grandmothers funeral was a celebration of her life...I am half Irish and over there there is always a celebratory mood after a funeral. I am so very sorry that you were denied that feeling with little Stella xxx

pelvic So very sorry to hear your story...I wish I had clever words, but I dont, so will leave it to the wonderful ladies on here to comfort you xx

Feel a bit low today...got hospital appointments coming up and they always get me down....on a brighter note, ds1 had his sports day today and he was a star in the sack race! (Doesnt get his sporting prowess from his mother!!)

Gosh it is so sad. So sad for you Pelvicflawed - you were kind and supportive to me in between my two experiences and I have followed your posts. I feel so pulled right back there and the pain is just...indefinable.
Well done for sharing with us.
Ask for whatever you need from us.
Am working tomorrow but know that I am thinking of you - imagining your heartache - and sending you a gentle cuddle.
Goodnight
BB xx

Did he win, Becaroo???

Pelvicflawed, I sense your exhaustion and I recall it/still have it, so am not going to say more, other than that am thinking of you and will continue to...

Oooh this is a house of aching women tonight. I sense fatigue and headaches and droopy eyes.

Have some dimmed lights and lovely smells of flowers on holiday, and maybe a gentle sound of breaking waves out the window and warm air, but not too hot for a cuddly blanket. Have restfull nights and lets see what tomorrow brings.

becaroo - hope sackrace went well, and hope you let us know about your consultations.

Night all, calm vibes.

Morning PF, how are you feeling today? Just wanted you to know that I'm always about during the day in case you are looking for a sympathetic (understanding) ear. I know people in RL just don't know how to react, even though they all mean well.

Sunny skies have gone and it's looking stormy out. I'm thinking some retail therapy is in order, maybe for that sexy lingerie I've been threatening to get. (my 30 bras are getting lonely...)

no, I don't have a shopping problem...

Love to everyone xx

Good morning PF
Off to work but wanted you to know that the ladies will look after you -they are such a big hearted bunch of nutcases really.
Back later to send you more love and compassionate thoughts.
Rest, rest,rest and weep and cuddle and rest some more.
And you Cantdo - same for you really.
hugs

Thinking of you both cantdo and PF xx

cantdo No, he didnt win as its one of those team sports days, but I was most impressed - he was really fast and didnt fall over!!!

Morning all

So glad that you found this space, PF.

I really understand where you're coming from, having terminated twice for the same reason as you. For me, it was a strange 'relief' to meet others in this sad situation. All the medics had rattled on about 'extraordinary bad luck' and 'rare for lightening to strike twice', so that I felt like a freak of nature. It did zero for my self esteem at a very fragile time.

Then, nearly four years on from my last termination, this thread was set up and in turn, I feel set free. I could talk about how it had affected me and how it still continues to affect me. I felt I had a voice. And listeners who would do just that, without any judgement.

Enough of me. It's early days for you and the emotions and hormones are doing a (not so) merry dance. Just be kind to yourself and your lovely man. Like you, I found great comfort in my gorgeous child - so very special. I said once to BB that the sun does in fact shine again. It's not meant to be glib or superficial, but a glimpse of a way forward.

I'm here most of the day, if you want to talk or have any questions.

Love to all, as ever x

Reading through the thread and no word from Linspins recently.

Has anyone been in touch with her via text or CAT?

(Not being a nosey old biddy, just genuinely concerned!)

Pelvicflawed - I am so sorry you've had to join us here but it is the best place for you. I hope you can find comfort here and space to talk through your feelings. How are you feeling today?

Feeling a bit exhausted as just had a big meeting at the school about my eldest - he is doing OK but still very physical with his peers and also his brother and sister which is exhausting for me to be constantly intervening. Sports day was cancelled yesterday and the kids will miss it next week as we'll be away. At least the sun has reappeared. Someone asked - we are going to a wooden 2 storey chalet set in a village of about 50 similar chalets overlooking a small loch with swans. There is just a small bar/restaurant and an indoor pool on site but nothing else but woodland and the loch so very peaceful. The beach is just a 5 min walk away. It's in Dumfries-shire. Two days to go, can't wait!

Got to pick up youngest soon so will be off, love to all. xxx

Hello PF and DB - I have to go out but am thinking of you and glad to see we have some thread captains around incase you need an ear. There is always someone, or someone is soon along.

Will catch up this eve x

Hello, Nurse Bezzy checking in, everybody ok?

DD snoozing so enjoying a peaceful lunch. AAHHHH...

BK X

PS Eulalia, your holiday sounds fabby! Wish I'd known about that place when we were north of the border.

BK xx

Hello girls
In answer to your question Shangrilala - no word from Linspins. I imagine she is exhausted and it must be a frightening time for her - poor bunny.
If you are reading Lins - we are sending you big big hugs and knowing it will be okay.
Can you send a little nod or a wink to stop us worrying?
I am glad Shangrila that you joined us when you did - it is not exactly comforting to know others have been through such trauma but at least less isolating. We need a space to explore the rocky road.
The sun does shine; it is just the hazy clouds are more frequent than they used to be.
Sad
BB xxxxx

Hi everyone

Pelvic, thinking of you (I love your name). Hope today has gone okay. I found all this more tiring than anything else and am still tired...

Shangrila, hope you're doing okay - you were having a time last week I remember.

Eulalia enjoy your holiday, it sounds great.

Bezzy, did you go lingerie shopping? I am tempted to do that, and clothes shopping. Things I wouldn't have been able to do if still pregnant... Trying to find the sun amongst the clouds, to follow all your weather analogies.

All okay here - just tired, still. I am sure this tiredness is a form of self-protection. Anyway I am coping. I wouldn't have imagined one could live with this but it seems one can - we all are testament to this.

Murray on now, Bezzy - hope you're suitably glued to the television. Who are you backing to win? I've always liked Federer...

There has been a rare sighting of our Lins - she has emailed and can tell you she is a very good looking specimen!
She fine but utterly exhausted and says to send a nod and a wink.

And one from me too.
Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi All

I had a mega shopping spree after we ended the pregnancy, and bought 2 pairs of jeans and all sorts of other stuff that I wouldn't have been able to wear if pregnant. I was really clutching at straws at having something positive to think about.

Didn't manage to get lingerie shopping today, maybe tomorrow....

I also missed Murray was a bad time of the day as was bathing DD at a friends house (we have no bathroom at the moment as having it done up, will look great when it's finished, but OH BOY it's taking time!)

How are you PF and Can't and everybody else? When's brightonbabe back?

[wave to BB] how you doing my same date mate?

BK xx

Good news about Lins. Soon she'll be 12 weeks, surely, and might be able to relax...?

Bezzy, sorry you didn't make it to the shops. And what a pain about the bathroom. But imagine a lovely newly decorated bathroom - much opportunity for relaxation.

Pelvic, hope you're okay. Do come back and talk to us.

And Katerina, and others, the same applies.

It feels like we're a family here, a community who understand each other.

Hello Matron (oooooh Matron!)
Well am okay honey.
Can I just say that I feel you and Mr Condom must get on with it. No delay. Your chances of another T21 pregnancy are very low - do not sit around getting older. Had to say it. I know you are a girl who says it how it is Bez.
I am still not decided as really feel can not go through it three times. Once horrid, twice unbelievable , what would there be left to feel? If we try it will be I feel like receiving treatment for a terrible illness. You might recover, you may get ill or even die but either way the process and procedures and feelings and ohhhh all of it will be truly dreadful. I know that sounds dramatic but that is how I feel. Meant as a metaphor so please do not feel offended if you have had a traumatic illness.

But am okay at mo. Off to Swissland in morning to see my lovely university friend - am hoping to go to outdoor spring thing and be generally pampered.
I WANT NEW KNICKERS AND BRAS TOO.
You, me and a pair of slinky knickers October 7th. Can you resist the offer?

PF- hope that you are being gentle on yourself love. We are here for when you need us and if you just need to read then that is okay too.

hugs to the nurses, matrons and guardians who watch over this thread
BB xxxxxxxx

Hello Cantdo
YOu are so right - we are a community. We really are. I feel it maybe is a bit like going to church - supportive, connecting and gentle on the soul. I value it enormously - I like your voice here very much and am so glad we found you or you found us.
Is a strange plus off the modern technological world - if anyone had told me would belong to an online forum a year ago ( and be worryingly addicted) I would have laughed.
Lins will be 12 weeks soon yes. Am so very much holding everything crossed for her. She is a founder member here- special lady and deserves it enormously.
Lets wait and see and wait and hope.
xxxxxxxxx

Busier, hi - I know what you mean about three times. Different for me in a way because my two experiences had completely different causes, but still - in my head I can't imagine a healthy pregnancy. And yet I can't imagine not trying for a sibling for DD.

What a mess.

Bezzy you have time - you both need to be ready, not just you - but what I felt last time when I waited to ttc again was that I was already anxious even before I got pregnant. So not ttc wasn't saving me, in a way.

Busier -- good luck with your decision.

A very tired Cant is off to bed now. I know, I am always tired. Combo of an insomniac DD and the general exhaustion of what has happened. Oh and a bit of innate laziness, too.

Thinking of you all.

Oh you are right Canto - did not mean to bully Bezzy - just that T21 does increase with age and she is still a young Bezz and I would hate for her to go through what I have.
And you are right - your situation different - yours more like Lins - two different problems.
There is no right and wrong - we do what we feel is right and pray that what we feel is right is.. you know.. good.
Will shut up now with my nosying into Bezzy Business!
Is perfectly normal and desirable to want a sibling.
Take care Cantdo and rest your weary self - me also wiped out with tiredness - the whole past year has just worn me to the edge of exhaustion.
xxxxxx

Fear not BB, not offended, in fact was laughing out loud and DH was trying to see what was so hilarious....of course didn't want him to know why as he'd be mortified if he knew I was discussing that type of thing.

But Mr Condom, I like it!

Night all

Granny Bezzy xx

Evening!

Much use I am at this time of night but glad to see another day down for those living day to day.
Hope pelvicflawed and daftbat are both resting up and waiting for the brutally hard days to pass.
Sleep well cant - you are very very strong to be offering support and energy at such early days in your own journey.

On the trying again - I have no fucking idea. I have no no no idea what I'd do if I were any of you, apart from poo my pants with fear.

Am tired myself so have brain fuddle. Back tomorrow.