Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

Hi guys serial lurker here. I know good news stories made me feel better after my tfmr so i thought I would share mine. Had my 12 week scan yesterday and it was perfect. NT of 1.1mm and all its bits and bobs in the right place.

Will my screening odds be slightly skewed because of my history? Just waiting on those now before we decide whether to do a NIPT.

Hi everyone ive spent the last few days reading through the last 3 threads. Congratulations to all who have gone on to have healthy babies or who are pregnant again. I had to go through a TFMR on the 1st August this year at 19 weeks 4 days, it was horrific. We still dont know the cause yet, still waiting for the genetic results, got an appointment next Friday. Were told at our 20 week scan our poor baby boy David had so many abnormalities he wouldnt survive. Feel so let down as had a bleed at 8 weeks but told everything fine, OHs sister has a baby with genetic issues which could be hereditary but we were told low risk for us, couldnt get a NT measurement at 12 week scan and now looking back there are things you can see on the scan that should of been picked up, like his cleft left joined to his nose. Then got covid at 14 weeks and had weird cramps and bump went down, told i wouldnt be scanned as there was no bleeding. Had a big bleed at 19 weeks, admitted to hospital overnight, did a quick scan and checked heartbeat, all was fine, then got the heartbreaking news the next day at my scan. Feel there is alot that could of have been picked up earlier rather than getting to the halfway mark thinking everything was fine. We obviously told everyone after our 12 week scan and my 7 year old son, to have to go back and tell everyone the news was horrific, my poor son was heartbroken. Glad to see everyone else's experiences as it feels like its only happened to you xx

@KG2627 I'm sorry you find yourself here. It's so hard to cope when you've no definitive answers. With regards to the bleeding, please don't put too much on the missed opportunities through scans. I had many bleeds during my twin pregnancy (which ended in tmfr) but they weren't looking at the babies then apart from the heart. They purely focused on the placenta and causes for the bleeds.
It must have been awful to break the news to your son, my oldest wasn't even 2 so we were spared having to tell him fully.
Will you get any answers to help you, genetic testing etc?x

@Kiki275 it is, we have a telephone consultation with the consultant next Friday so hopefully get the genetic and post mortem results then. It was, he was heartbroken as had been so excited that he was going to be a big brother, he kept saying he had been waiting his whole life for this and practically told everyone we talked too xx

Sadly it was a chemical pregnancy. Tests never got darker and I started bleeding 17dpo. Had bloods done yesterday so hopefully they find out the cause.

@Balajake I'm so sorry to hear this but hope they have some answers for you.

@Upsydasiy how are you?

@KG2627 will be thinking of you come Friday. I found the review really helpful. It was also good for getting any follow up stuff pushed through (ie. I wanted a smear to eliminate anything sinister as a cause of bleeding but it was peak Covid so was difficult getting one arranged - consultant sorted it).

@rosed1008 sorry I can't help as we didn't have genetic issues, hopefully someone will know more. Hope the results come through soon.

xx

All my bloods normal. They said they can't check progesterone till day 21 so referred me to recurrent miscarriage clinic. Not sure when I will get a letter

@Balajake sorry you didn't get much help. Hope the clinic get in touch soon x

@Kiki275 thank you for checking in. I ended up in epu to have bloods which confused me even more 😭

I have however now had a bleed so I think I am now CD14 (I have yo do another pregnancy test tomorrow and if it’s still positive I’ll need scans)
I had a peak on clearblue on Thursday and on Saturday, but yet to see a rise in my bbt so not entirely sure I’m ovulating. I think my body is still adjusting and has no idea what’s going on 🤷‍♀️

Sorry to see more new people here, i hope you’re all getting on ok.

Just an update from me, I had my 20 week scan today, all went well, I just have to go back in 2 weeks as the baby was in in a ball position on her back so they couldn’t get the view of her spine they wanted.
I will be having extra scans at 32, 36 and 39 weeks and they won’t be letting me go over 40 weeks due to previous blood pressure issues.

@rosed1008 we had the combined and nipt in parallel this time, I knew I definitely wanted both, my combined came back as low risk 1 in 8000 ish for t21 and 1 in 51,000ish for t13/t18, then my nipt came back
As low risk 1 in 10000 for all (the nipt I had doesn’t score any higher). My tfmr baby has edwards, and I am really not sure if it impacts the results but it was asked when the hospital was filling in my blood forms.
I hope your results came back ok xxx

@Balajake I'm so sorry. Not sure if you even remember me or my story but I ended up being diagnosed with chronic endometritis (not to be confused with endometriosis!!) after 4 early miscarriages after my TFMR. Maybe have a look into this too...?

"Chronic endometritis: the importance of diagnosis in an infertile patient
Many assisted reproduction patients have a problem with their microbiota. Recurring miscarriages may be caused by chronic endometritis, which is nothing more than a persistent inflammation of the endometrial mucous caused by pathogenic bacteria. It is often asymptomatic, meaning that it is a silent illness suffered by a great many women who cannot conceive naturally."

Hi guys, it's been a little while, I'm SemiFeralDalek/AlexaPlayWhiteNoise, I'm a bit of a name changer.

How is everyone? I've had to take a bit of a break since my last MMC. I can't believe we're coming up on a year from my TFMR either.

Is anyone doing anything to mark baby loss awareness week?

@HeyFloof I usually download the pictures for my Facebook profile. I have emailed a local council about lighting up a landmark but had no response.
One year is a tough anniversary, will you mark it in any way? We had a nice steak dinner in honour of the boys first birthday x

I wasn't happy with my screening. Low HCG and lowish papp-a so was given 1:1400 for t18/13 and 1/10000 for t21. I know that is low risk but it threw me a bit so we went for the NIPT.

Got the results back yesterday and all fine... and we are having a boy! We havent had a boy in our family for over 40 years. I was absolutely floored by the results and the sex. Oddly because he is a he the fact his hormones are so different to my healthy daughter calms me a bit.

Now shitting myself for the 20 week scan. It never ends does it.

Baby loss week is an odd one, i dont know what to do. I try not to think about the baby we lost because it was so traumatic but it never leaves you. I hope you are all doing ok. X

Hello! I've only read bits of this thread but the board as a whole was so wonderful for me when I went through testing and diagnosis and tfmr earlier this year that it's the first place I've headed on getting a pos preg test today! Sooo many things going round my head- I'm 44!! Tmfr was bcs of t21 diagnosis, was a bit of an impulsive decision a few weeks again to throw caution to the wind and see what happens and now I'm mentally going round in circles about what this all means!

Realistically it's very early and I'm bracing myself for things not actually progressing very far, but am already a bit panicky about the t21 risk and whether I've just been foolish to put us all through this again. I don't know what to think!

Also, focusing on the practical- I think the earliest I can get a nipt is 10 weeks? Would I need a dating scan before then to identify when 10 weeks would be or can I just use my estimation based on lmp?

Ooo this a sentence got lost in my previous post, obviously the tmfr decision wasn't impulsive- that was the most heat wrenching and utterly heartbreaking decision I've ever made. It was the getting pregnant again that was done on impulse...

@milki
Wishing you all the best during this pregnancy. I know how stressful these first days are. I had a TFMR this year, then a quemical and now am 15 week pregnant. I had a private Nipt when - according to my dates - was 10 w 5 d. I had a dating scan at the same appointment. I found many private clinics where I live offer the combo (dating scan + Nipt) They determined I was 11 weeks. The scan was beautiful and had a low NT 1.1. The results were emailed 5 days after the scan and they were low risk for all trisomies. Shortly after I had the NHS scan and blood test which also came back low risk. I had convinced myself I was going to have a different result...it is only now when am starting to believe that it is going to be fine this time☺️ Good luck x

@milki congratulations! I was told by the screening midwife of my local hospital to call her when I was pregnant again and they would arrange an early scan. That's definitely worth a try because many hospital trusts now offer NIPT on the NHS if the results from the combined screening come back high chance OR you have had a previous pregnancy affected by one of the 3 main trisomies.

Hi all,
I have been following this thread since I had a high risk result from my screening tests, I have just had T21 confirmed from amnio results and my Tfmr is being arranged for me.

I am 40,I had been trying to conceive for 4 years, I had lots of rounds of clomid and 2 failed ivfs. I was just waiting for my final try at ivf and I caught naturally, me and my partner couldn't quite believe it and we were over the moon, but it was all too good to be true.

I have always struggled with fertility, but I have a gorgeous 5year old boy that I did manage to conceive naturally.

I would love to try again, but I'm not sure it will happen for us. I've already booked in for an appointment with the consultant about another round of ivf, but I don't think our chances are great.

Congratulations to you all on your current pregnancies, it is really lovely and encouraging to hear all yyour success stories a fter your Tfmr

@Aimz40 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Have you got plenty of support at home?x

Hi everyone, I hope it's ok to tentatively join this post. We had a tfmr on 10th September due to various abnormalities shown on my 12 week scan. We didn't have a diagnosis at the time but it wasn't looking good at all. Have just heard on our genetic results after post mortem and my baby had turners syndrome, confusing for us after being told that he looked like a boy after delivery, but she is in fact a little girl 💕

I was put on high dose folic acid and told to wait 3 months before ttc again but with the turners diagnosis it has shown that what happened was really pure back luck and hopefully unlikely to reoccur so I would like to start ttc when I get my first period.

How long has it taken to get your first period afterwards? It's been 5 weeks today, I've had a high reading on opk for a few days 10 days ago but not a peak so I either missed it or haven't ovulated yet!

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm rushing into ttc again, I feel quite the opposite but I really need to feel that I'm going all I can to have thag baby in my arms

Thinking of you all tonight ladies x

@Bellesjp I'm sorry you find yourself here. I can't advise really. We were told to wait for two periods before trying again (not for genetic reasons, just to allow time for healing). As it was I wanted a clear smear first so it was over 3 months x

I have just had my tfmr, I have been in hospital for a week because the medication or anything they did was t working, I've just had to have surgery this afternoon and had to have a blood transfusion because I bled lots when they removed the placenta. Total Nightmare!

I spoke to the consultant when he came to see me and asked him when it would be OK to try ivf again, I thought he would say to give it 3 months or something, but he told me that as soon as I get my next period I'm good to go!

@Bellesjp I got my first period after 5 weeks following my tfmr in august (although this was after a newly positive pregnancy test and lots of confusion)

I’m currently day 35 of a new cycle, this cycle has been really really strange but I guess that’s to be expected whilst my body readjusts to everything.
We were told to wait for one period before trying again but ideally two to give myself chance to heal emotionally however I’ve been (unhealthily) obsessed with getting pregnant again it’s like my way of protecting my mind (stupid I know)
I’ve had a very faint line on a easy @ home test and a negative digital and I don’t know how I feel. Part of me is praying for a pregnancy, the majority of me is absolutely terrified 😬

Thankyou I've finally got my period today after 5 and a bit weeks. Don't think I ovulated after my tfmr so hoping my new cycle isn't too messed up. Feeling down and guilty about ttc again this month but I think the longer I leave it the worse I will feel