Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@kiki275 oh my, what a gorgeous little boy with a lovely name. Congratulating. Hope you are keeping well. Enjoy every minute!

@Kiki275 huge congratulations, what handsome little chap. I hope you are all doing well and that you are recovering ok xxx

@Kiki275 congratulations! He is utterly beautiful, lovely name too xx

@Kiki275 awwwww he is beautiful! 💙 biggest congratulations! I can't believe he's here already. So relived to hear how content you've been feeling since his birth. Xx

Hello ladies, thought I would report back and let you all know my scan on Monday at 13+4 went well, such a difference from my last pregnancy and my bloods have all came back low risk! I am starting to think to myself, dare I say it, that this pregnancy might go okay this time. My daughters abnormalities were not picked up until the 20 week scan but I just knew from all my other scans something was wrong, this time is very different.

Say hello to my little rainbow 🌈 top one is like the baby is stretched out sunbathing Haha, bottom one the little hand is at it's head!

@No1worrier congratulations! Look at them all stretched out 😂

Ive got mine in a week 😬😬😬 absolutely terrified, thanks for posting- nice reminder that it can all be fine.

@Kiki275 Congratulations!! He looks gorgeous! Hope the CS went according to plan and you are doing well. Are you back home now? xx

@No1worrier Congratulations!!!
@rosed1008 best wishes for your scan.

@No1worrier I'm so pleased! Gorgeous photographs x

@rosed1008 they are terrifying but keeping everything crossed for you. I was in floods of tears at my 12 week one and an anxious wreck at my 20wk x

@Alice40p we were only in 1 night which was fab! Totally different experience to my EMCS last time. Just wish my 3yr old would get the memo that I'm sore x

Hey everyone. Hope you're all doing well. Some of you may remember me. Had a TFMR in April 2020 due to T18 then I got pregnant 7 months later only to begin miscarrying at 8 weeks on Christmas Eve. I took a break from here but not from TTC. Month after month with nothing, and being 41 now I was thinking of just giving up. I'm 10dpo and just got this On first response. I'm actually almost in tears of joy but also of worry. I'm so happy and dreaming of all the possibilities but nervous too.

@Balajake Tentative congratulations. Keeping everything crossed xx

Thankyou Kiki. If I'm honest I really thought my chances were over. Im going to take each day as it comes as it could all be over in a flash. Pain wise I'd say the MC was worse than the TFMR. The pain of passing the baby was like full blown contractions. Emotionally I'd say I went into a bubble. I'd just cry all the time and didn't want to post as it just felt too painful. I used to get so obsessed with everything that came with TTC. Each month passed and I could barely look at netmums etc. I felt like it was a losing battle. Let's see how this one goes xx

Think I already jumped the gun. Free lighter today than the one I did yesterday. Guess it's a possible chemical😔
Top frer was yesterday. Bottom two today. Nevermind

@Balajake it's possible but then so is the alternative. It's hard but try not to test for a few days and see what happens. When is AF due?x

In 2 days which would be 16dpo. I typically spot lightly from 14dpo and that's tomorrow. If it's not viable then I'd rather it end now that go on for weeks like last time

Just an update, our anatomy scan went really well and everything was normal and perfect so I had been scaring myself for no reason. We had our fetal echocardiogram on Tuesday and that was also completely normal. We are having a healthy baby boy, I can feel him moving pretty regularly now which is helping my anxiety a lot because I get freaked out if I feel him then nothing for ages. We will be having serial growth scans and a few reasurrance scans so I won't have to go more than a few weeks before I see him again which will also help with the underlying fear that something is going to go wrong at some point. My partner is also now able to talk about this baby and pregnancy and has told his two adult kids so I don't have to hide it anymore.

@Tigger85 that's such reassuring news! I'm glad they're going to continue with frequent scans x

Hello

I hope it’s okay to post on here 😊
We had a tfmr and gave birth to our little girl who had t18 on the 11th August.

I’ve since tested negative on digital and home pregnancy tests. However I am now getting a faint positive on clearblue but negative on a pink die (Poundland 3 for a £1 jobs) no I assume this is an evap line?

Im still all over the place and haven’t had a period yet post our tfmr

@Kiki275 I've just been catching up - huge congratulations. Your little boy is beautiful and his name is gorgeous. I'm so happy for you 💙

@No1worrier - I'm so pleased your scan was good news and everything is going well!

@Tigger85 - I'm so glad you've had some reassurance and will be closely monitored.

@Upsydasiy - I'm sorry you find yourself here and for the loss of your little girl. Have you tested again since Saturday?

I am doing well, and we have found out our rainbow is a little boy 💙 I'm finding it hard, as the baby we lost to TFMR was a boy too and I don't want to replace him. But we are so grateful to have got this far and for all tests and scans to be indicating a healthy little baby 💙

@Brooklily I’m a serial tester 😭 still getting faints on clearblues, negative on cheap pink dye ones so I’m assuming it’s an evap?
I’m currently having strange pink spotting (i never spotted before my loss so this is a new one) so I’m assuming that my first AF is on its way

Finding everything very triggering today

@Upsydasiy it might be worth ringing your GP/EPU to see if they can do bloods to provide a bit of certainty. I'm sorry you're going through this so soon after your TFMR. It took me a good couple of cycles for things to get back to normal after we lost our son. I had very heavy and irregular bleeding to the point where I ended up in A+E.
I hope you get some answers soon one way or another. The uncertainty is horrible, I've been there. Sending love and strength. Xxx

@Brooklily gp isn’t been very helpful. I work at the hospital so might try them but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.
I’d just like my period to come if it’s coming.

Thank you for replying.

@Balajake how are you? Did you test again?

@Upsydasiy it must be so frustrating not to know for certain one way or the other. If you did ask at the hospital I don't think anyone would consider it a waste of time at all.

@Brooklily congratulations for your 💙 news. I was worried what impact a boy would have on me too. When I lost the twins I'd already decided what they would have grown up to be like (Jake a rebel, Jasper a quiet home body), my DS will be a proper Lad and I really struggled to see another boy fitting in with the others in a unique way. I had one short "Oh" moment when the surgeon held him up and then after that, sheer joy! I'm sure you'll have similar feelings but like my boy has, your baby will just slot effortlessly into your heart x

I imagined Max's life too, even though I know with his abnormalities it would have never been. I was convinced this baby was another girl (I have a living daughter) but I think that was because I felt it would be easier that way. I'm coming round to the idea now, I just want to do him justice and love him for being him, not a replacement for the baby I lost. I'm hoping that I will have that same feeling I had when my daughter was born - she was also born by C-Section, and this little one will be too.
Thanks for your words, it's helpful to know I'm not on my own feeling like this 💙
I hope you're recovering well post-section - I know how tough it can be. Xxx

@Kiki275 forgot to tag you in my post above xxx