Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

I've just watched BabySurgeons Ep 3 with selective termination of a poorly twin. Those parents are incredibly brave sharing their story and I hope that there are people watching that maybe think a little harder about why we choose these options. I'm in floods watching but just want to give them a massive hug x

@Kiki275 you were brave to watch it. I haven't been able to after seeing short clip of it. There's a lot of stuff in TV I find quite triggering. I know the BBC are broadcasting a show about termination in NI which I have also avoided.
But you are so right - these help to increase awareness about TFMR and hopefully give people a small insight into what we have all been through.
Sending hugs your way x

Hi everyone, thought I'd join if that's OK?
Just dipping my toe into the TTC waters after TFMR last summer. I'm 38, it was my first pregnancy. Still feeling absolutely devastated but need to move forwards because don't know how long things might take etc. etc.
I'm finding the idea of TTC again to be a real emotional rollercoaster so thought the extra support might help...with the boredom of all the waiting too!
It's ovulation week this week and we've DTD a few times so it's the first time we've tried to deliberately TTC. Trying not to think about it too much and manage my expectations really.

@GoingGently I'm sorry you're here too. An emotional rollercoaster is exactly the right way to describe it but we'll all be right here with you x

Thank you! x

Hi everyone, I'm 11dpo and have taken a test this am - there is the faintest line I've ever seen, so faint I thought I was kidding myself but my hubby says he can see it too. So I'm very cautiously optimistic.
However, I've also had some light spotting this morning. Could it be implantation bleeding? I tested negative yesterday so implantation must have been very recently. I'm a bit scared as in my first pregnancy with my daughter I had no bleeding but in both my subsequent pregnancies which resulted in miscarriage and TFMR I had early bleeding. Anyone had any similar experiences? X

@Brooklily

Hi everyone, I'm 11dpo and have taken a test this am - there is the faintest line I've ever seen, so faint I thought I was kidding myself but my hubby says he can see it too. So I'm very cautiously optimistic. However, I've also had some light spotting this morning. Could it be implantation bleeding? I tested negative yesterday so implantation must have been very recently. I'm a bit scared as in my first pregnancy with my daughter I had no bleeding but in both my subsequent pregnancies which resulted in miscarriage and TFMR I had early bleeding. Anyone had any similar experiences? X

Gentle congratulations, hopefully the lines get darker 🤞🏼❤.

I had implantation bleeding the day I got my first BFP (very faint) at 9dpo, when 8dpo I had a stark negative so sounds similar to what I had in October. Good luck!

Thanks @No1worrier I'm keeping everything crossed. No bleeding on last loo visit.
I'm going to test again tomorrow and hoping my lines darken. X

For pregnant ladies- have any of you had Covid vaccination yet? Which vaccine did you have and at what gestation? I’m thinking of having the vaccine after 20 weeks scan but there is not much information for pregnant women.

@Alice40p

For pregnant ladies- have any of you had Covid vaccination yet? Which vaccine did you have and at what gestation? I’m thinking of having the vaccine after 20 weeks scan but there is not much information for pregnant women.

I had the vaccine (pzifer) at 12 weeks. Midwife/consultant all very supportive. Loads of American women have been vaccinated and nothing to suggest any issues in pregnancy.

@Alice40p I had mine last weeks at 25+5. There's little evidence to show long term impacts of the vaccine but there's even less on the impact of Covid, though plenty on adults and it's scary reading for me.
Covid will be around for a long time so I'm taking my chances with the vaccine (Indian variant levels really high in my area too) x

Thanks @Kiki275 and @MrsDubz. Yes, that was exactly my thoughts that it is going to be around for long time and the new Indian variant has affected pregnant ladies in india. Did you get Pfizer automatically or did you have to specifically request for it? Did either of you have any reaction to the vaccine? Thanks

@Kiki275 BTW can’t believe you are over 26 weeks now! Time flies ! Are you more relaxed about the pregnancy now?

@Alice40p it seems to have gone slowly for me but definitely more relaxed now.
I attended a walk-in centre that was advertising the Phizer locally, but tbh the variant unnerves me so much I'd have had any. No side effects other than a sore arm, it really stung when going in too. Was tired the next day but that could be anything x

@Kiki275 thanks, my consultant said I can’t have the AZ one. I’m trying to arrange a Pfizer vaccine. It seems with the Pfizer one you only get immunity 7 days after second dose. I also had a look at the Pfizer study on 90,000 pregnant women. They only had women over 27 weeks of gestation in this study, but there was no concern reported. As you say the variant is more concerning than the vaccine. I’m waiting to hear when and where I can have the vaccine.
Are you able to feel baby move now?

@Alice40p that's interesting about the immunity! I understood it built slowly and only reached full immunity after the 2nd. Most research is based on the 21 day dosing but we've extended to 12 which makes the figures stupidly difficult to find. My 2nd is booked in for end of July, I'm just happy that the wheels are in motion

Baby is very active now which is reassuring although mostly to my cervix and bladder which isn't quite so cute x

@Kiki275 😂! That’s not very comfortable for you. I haven’t started feeling movements yet. I’m 19 weeks now. Looking forward to feeling the baby!

Hi everyone. It's AlexaPlayWhiteNoise.

kiki I'm so glad baby is a wriggler, even if they are tap dancing on your bladder

I had to take a bit of a break, I wasn't coping and needed to step back a bit. I was diagnosed with PTSD last week and then yesterday decided to take a pregnancy test, assuming it was far too early at 9/10 dpo and got a solid line, and then this morning a 1-2 on a cb digi. It's so early, and I'm freaking out a bit internally. Basically 6 months (plus 2 days) since we lost baby boy.

DH is thrilled, but baulked a bit and went pale when I said that if this one sticks, and gets past the dating scan, that we'd have to go through a fetal medicine scan again, and perhaps deliver again if it was a poorly baby.

For some reason I feel like we're going to have a baby diagnosed with something different this time, not spina bifida but something else which means we lose them.

@AlexaTurnItDown gentle congratulations!! It is very normal to feel like that. I go to each scan thinking this is the scan they are going to find something wrong with the baby! However, the odds are more for you to have a healthy baby than not - that is what my consultant told me! I’m so happy for you! Sorry to hear about your PTSD but it is good to get a diagnosis so that you get all the support you need. Keeping everything crossed 🤞 for you. XX

@AlexaTurnItDown I totally understand what you're saying. People say lightening won't strike twice but what's to stop it striking somewhere/somehow else? Been there and it eased once the 20wk scan was all clear. Tentative congratulations but the odds are really good. I hope the FMU will be taking good care of you x

Hi everyone, so we’ve decided to ttc despite the fear and hit 5 days over my semi and fertile window. I’m literally scared to death but all the positive stories and strength of you ladies has given me hope it can happen in the right way if we’re able to conceive again. Please wish me luck, I’ll be following this thread to see all the updates

@NTScannegative all the very best of luck! Keeping everything crossed for you x

Thank you @alice40p and @kiki275. It's a while difficult different world of stress isn't it, pregnancy after TFMR. And it's definitely the lightening striking twice scenario I keep thinking of.

I've told DH that we're not saying anything to anyone until/if we find out of its a poorly baby or not. I remember them saying at the FMU that we'd have an earlier anomaly scan at about 16/18 weeks im sure. I've just got to get through till then. If we get past everything else, miscarriage, dating scan etc. It just feels huge.

And to add insult, I got my vaccine text this morning But now I'm thinking of postponing till after 8/10/12 weeks, just in case of fever really. If I get that far. I'm rambling 🙃

@NTScannegative good luck and fingers crossed for you x

@AlexaTurnItDown it's going to be an emotional rollercoaster over the next few weeks. If you are close to anyone you trust, then I would tell them. You might just need the extra support or just a confidente. Not being preachy at all and it's entirety a personal decision but for us, it was stressful enough without having the stress of keeping it hidden if that makes sense?xx

I've told my (what used to be mumsnet birth group) WhatsApp friendship group just now, they have been with me for five years+ since we were all pregnant with our first together, and they've been with me at every step with our loss. I am so fortunate because they're phenomenal.

I think I'll probably wait to share it with my family or DH's, just in case. But it's definitely such an odd position to be in.